Hi,<BR>I am new to this forum. I met the most wonderful woman while going to community college. We hit it off right away and have been together since. We met in February 1999 and got engaged in June of the same year. We were both happy in the relationship until three things happened. In October 2000, while attending the same college we met at, a girl in my class, Maria, suggested a study group. I knew Maria would be there as well as another girl from our class. Before I left for the study group, (A) asked me if there would be girls there. I told her maybe. I don't know why I lied about it, because I had no intentions of doing anything, and I did nothing either of the girls except for study. I was pefectly happy in the relationship with my fiancee. When I came home after the study group we were talking and that is when she discovered that I knew there would be girls there. So basically, she thought I had done something with the girls otherwise I wouldn't have lied about it. Then, in November 2000 I went out with a friend of mine and got really drunk at a club and I ended up kissing a girl while on the dance floor. I never mentioned it to my fiancee. The next thing that happened was I went out with the same friend a couple weeks later. A girlfriend of my fiancee ended up coming later and she brought a friend with her. Anyway, my fiancee who was not going to come at first ended up coming to the club we were at. She stayed for a while and then went home early. I stayed behind with my friend. After my fiancee had left, I became even more drunk and I started to hit on the girlfriends friend. Well, my fiancee found out about it through her friend of course, but later I also admitted having kissed the girl on the dance floor. Needless to say, we broke up for like two and a half months. We did remain friends and spend a lot of time together. Then, Earlier this month, she decided she wanted to be back together again (the day after a bad date.) So we were back together. Everything was fine. Or so I thought. Last night she had an ex-boyfriend over to her place to catch up. This is the ex boyfriend she broke up with to be with me. From what she told me, he stayed for dinner and all they did was talk. Today she calls me at work and tells me she wants to be just friends again, because she just can't get over the infidelity thing. She said that we were falling back into the same old relationship again and she wanted us to have our own lives apart from us together. Basically she can't get over my infidelity. She is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and I want so bad for her to work through this with me so we can be together. I am wondering, what works when something like this happens? Will just being friends, no sex, not having to tell me what she is doing, help her get over the infidelity? She wants to be by herself and have her space and do things for herself before she says we can be together. I love her very much. This is my first real long term committed relationship. HELP!<p>[This message has been edited by lovejones (edited April 01, 2001).]
