We both need to go through what steps?

The husband doesn't get a mention (except to be 100% passive). And yes, on my reading of what the article suggests, I think the process (as described) of the woman resuming sexual relations wholly on her own terms and timetable amounts to abuse. What about my feelings, what about my needs? Why would I find any such thing arousing?

Genuinely puzzled!

Your last point nicely illustrates my dilemma: and perhaps I am just misunderstanding. I can't adjust/cope by resolving the aversion: I don't have one.