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I have caused a huge mess out of my life.. Have only been married for less than a yr and just gave birth to a baby boy 3mths ago. My husband then boyfriend of 3yrs married me as i was pregnant. A recent paternity test showed e bb is not my husband's. When BH confronted me with the blood type discrepancy upon discharge fr hospital, i was filled with mixed emotions/thoughts and struggling between telling him or not. Everyone was happy about the newborn and i could not imagine what is going to happen next. I was also shocked and uncertain if the blood test was accurate. I only had a one-night thing with OM and intimate with BH more frequent weekly basis. Hence, i thought e bb was more likely to be BH's and did not tell him the truth as i felt i was still not ready to talk about it and the long traumatic birth delivery added to the stress. BH was doubtful and requested for dna test during confinement. Despite my pleas to do the test after my confinement or seek a marriage counsellor (MC), he refused to give in and so we had to go ahead with the test when bb was just 2weeks old. I cried alot during confinement but i know i deserve all these.
BH bonded with the bb during the first 2mths, bathed him, feed him etc everything that a dad will do despite knowing bb might not b his. Seeing that he cared for bb, i felt a sense of family-ness and again struggle if i should tell him the truth or wait for the test results. Again, i hold back which i know is not right. When the results were out, BH was very angry and he confronted me over the phone as bb and i happened to be staying at my mum's plc when he was on business trip the week before. I still did not tell him the full story. He then went to tell his family about what had happened and he came over to inform my parents that he will file an annulment of the marriage. I tried to talk to him to go for marital counselling first before we make any decision but he said he has lost all hopes on me and no longer feel anything for me. He called me names saying im evil.
I still love him and want to work on the marriage but he seem firm on his decision without even considering to try MC. I know it was a grave mistake i have committed. During our relationship, we have faced many ups and downs and i do not feel emotionally attached to him that i always have fear in telling him how i feel. There was so much fear and little communication. I also did not bother him these few days after trying to talk to him and text him which he did not reply as i know he must have hated me and leaving him alone he might feel more at peace. I really do not know what to do next but i hope we can try to work out in some ways first before ending the marriage. Can someone advise me pls?
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