hi there new member here.

After 12 years together, married for 7 my wife wants to separate.
We have had our ups and downs over the years but the last 12 months have been bad.

I have my own business and work from home, my wife has been a house wife for the last 3 years. We have 3 children ages 3,5,8.

She started the gym around 18 months ago, this was great to see my wife getting out and doing this rather than being stuck in with me.

During the last few months we have been arguing a lot about stuff and I have said a lot of hurtful things. Trouble is I could feel her pushing me away and affection was none.

I feel that me working from home and being in each other's pockets all day has killed our marriage.

She wants to separate and has totally disconnected from me. For the last few months she sleeps on the couch then comes to bed early hours.

Now she sleeps on the couch all night and has nothing to do with me.
We are just going to get through Xmas before breaking it to the kids.

I don't want it to end and now she has said she wants to separate,I took it badly and it hurt me.

I don't know how to leave. What about my kids I can't bare not being in our family home it's so heart breaking.

We never had many fiends or social life. I worked 12-14 hour days to give us money to pay bills and holidays and stuff so I neglected my marriage in the process.

I have made mistakes lately and realised she was slipping away and tried to get us close again by showing lots of love and affection but the damage was already done and she left me in her head months ago it would seem.

I tried the 180 on her, I started boxing yesterday then went to the cinema straight after. I had 11 missed calls and numerous texts asking where I was, I ignored them, when I returned home she was really chatty and nice to me.

Now today she is back to her distant sell and horrible attitude and tone to me.
It blew up again earlier with some blaming in each other so we have taken 10 steps back again.


I love her so much but she don't want it anymore.

I guess I will just have to move out.

mab,

You wrote, Unless it's happening in the gym but surely there are other people around.

My experience with "trainers" is that they are often untrained egotists who believe their own healthy physique somehow qualifies them to train others. They work for fly by night companies which come and go and often appear to constantly be on the make for new female recruits.

I would also suspect you are dealing with a serial cheater here who uses his profession to go from one woman to the next so he is well practiced and knows how to avoid detection.

Do not let on to anyone, especially your wife, that you are gathering data. They will try to spin a story that you are a crazy jealous husband. If you get evidence present it to OMW, other mans wife, before you confront OM. Do you have access to the cell phone bill?

Put a voice activated recorder in her car, hire a PI to observe their interactions at the gym, if you have a friend who goes to the gym perhaps he can spy for you.

God Bless
Gamma