Help - 09/09/04 07:55 PM
I've been married for almost 5 months. My husband and I lived together for a year before we got married.
My husband has two children from previous marriages. In the past year and a half we've been together, my husband has single handedly alienated everyone. No one calls or comes over to visit him. He's even tried to get me to stay away from my family. Then he wonders why no one wants to be around him. When his kids visit, he's stressed and yells a lot, is very negative and complains constantly. No one wants to be around that. They just stay away, but they won't tell him why because they know how he'll react. To make it worse, he says we're both negative and "WE" need to work on it. I guess it makes him feel better if I share the blame with him. So, I've tried to help him, but every suggestion I make he has to argue with. I don't know what this man wants from me. I'm so frustrated that I don't even know if I'm making sense.
Needless to say, our sex life leaves much to be desired because he's either tired, or not clean, or his back hurts, or his neck hurts or some other excuse. He never initiates anything. I have to initiate it and then risk getting turned down.
He's very distant to me, won't touch me and I'm at at my wits end. I don't know what to do or say to him. I don't dare express an opinion, ask a question or suggest counseling because he'll get very irate, defensive, etc. I feel so bad because we just got married a few months ago and this is happening. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
There's so much more I would like to put in here, but it would take way too long.
My husband has two children from previous marriages. In the past year and a half we've been together, my husband has single handedly alienated everyone. No one calls or comes over to visit him. He's even tried to get me to stay away from my family. Then he wonders why no one wants to be around him. When his kids visit, he's stressed and yells a lot, is very negative and complains constantly. No one wants to be around that. They just stay away, but they won't tell him why because they know how he'll react. To make it worse, he says we're both negative and "WE" need to work on it. I guess it makes him feel better if I share the blame with him. So, I've tried to help him, but every suggestion I make he has to argue with. I don't know what this man wants from me. I'm so frustrated that I don't even know if I'm making sense.
Needless to say, our sex life leaves much to be desired because he's either tired, or not clean, or his back hurts, or his neck hurts or some other excuse. He never initiates anything. I have to initiate it and then risk getting turned down.
He's very distant to me, won't touch me and I'm at at my wits end. I don't know what to do or say to him. I don't dare express an opinion, ask a question or suggest counseling because he'll get very irate, defensive, etc. I feel so bad because we just got married a few months ago and this is happening. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
There's so much more I would like to put in here, but it would take way too long.