Suicide - Marriage Builders® Forums

I had posted months ago about an abusive situation with my husband. On Easter Sunday, he physically attacked one of our children, beat her up, and then killed himself. We are all still reeling. Please pray for my family, I have three children, ages 16, 14, 11. Thank you

Oh how horrible. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] How is your daughter?I hope you're all in counseling!I will certainly pray for your family!

I am so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family. Remember, God provides us with a beautiful rainbow after the storm. I'm praying that you'll see your rainbow soon. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

I am praying for you and your children too, dear sister. I am so sorry for you all. Hope you can find good counseling.

Dear Lord, I pray that you would comfort my Sister and her children thru this tribulation. Let your peace fill her heart. Only you Lord can heal us of our hurts and pain. I thank you Lord that you promise to be close to the broken hearted and to save those crushed in spirit.
In Jesus Name, Amen

Thank you for the prayers and kind thoughts and words. Today has been pretty bad, I've been struggling with some strong tears since 5:30, its now 9 and I'm just regaining some calm. Chris

Chris,
May God's peace, the peace that passes all human understanding fill your heart. May He comfort you and your children with His love.

Chris,
May God give you and yours peace and faith in this troubled time. May He remind you that tomorrow will bring new hope, as He works his will through your life. cloudy day

ChrisI recall your posts. Oh, I am so very, very saddened to read this..what an awful thing for you all.Sewnding you hugs and prayers--Kathi

Chris, bumping this post as I realize you need continued prayer in dealing with this situation.I am so sorry for this pain. May God comfort you and lessen your sorrow. May His healing minister mercy and grace and renewed hope to your souls.

Thank you for praying for us. This is the hardest thing I think I've ever gone through, and I'm so angry because he abandoned us, abandoned these kids (which are extremely talented, beautiful, wonderful kiddos), took the coward's way out IMHO. Dealing with a boatload of anger right about now and then I just break down and cry. Please keep our family in your prayers. Chris7

You did the right thing. Stay in prayer and as much as possible surrender those emotions to God that He can have His way. This is your time of grief too. But do not get far from God, so that there is no chance of the enemy consuming you and your family, the way that your husband was consumed. KEEP YOUR CHILDREN LIFTED UP IN PRAYER. You will get through this sister.We come before You Lord God, knowing that you knew this situation would occur. We know that You are still in control and that You have Chris7 and her family still completely in Your strong and mighty protection. I lift them up to You in Jesus' name. I speak Your hedges of protection around them, that they be covered by the Blood od Jesus. I rebuke those enemies of depression, of suicide, of guilt right now Lord and speak restoration into this family now God. Let them be joined to You and be lead in Your Way, that Your name be glorified. Thank You for their comfort now God. Thank You for their release now God. I charge Your ministering angels over each of those children, and Chris7 now Lord. Thank You Lord. We know You are God in the storm, and God of Peace. We know You are God over and above the problem, and God the Answer! We Love You Lord God, and in the name of Jesus, Let these things be so, and so it is. We thank You right now, amen.

Chris7,
I want to send you an old post of mine but Im not quite sure how,so if you send me your email I will send you an arcticle, or else go into search, in the recovery board, type in suicide and then at the bottom my user # 9707.
The thread was called beyond survival I think.
What has happened to you is so unfair and I am sorry this has happened to you.
My H talked about suicide after being found out in his affair. I told him it was selfish. ThGOd I am not going through what you are, but it could have been me.
I will pray for some peace for you and your children, and maybe even a little laughter - yes it is possible.
Please keep writing down all you feel, you will be able to guage your progress.
I am sure you know about the 5 stages of grief, but if not there was a post on it today in Gen. questions I believe.
You are not alone
L

You and your family will be in my prayers. My heart goes out to you. Please get help anyway you can. Keep communication open with your childern and let your daughter know what happened is not her fault.Please be strong for your kids. They need you now more than ever.God Bless you and your family,
M

Thanks all. I'm making it. Just taking it a step at a time is all I am able to do. I feel like running away, but the pain lets me know it will follow me wherever I go. I did get some nice news; my only sister, her husband and my little nephew and neice are moving my way, which means I will be able to see them all the time anytime I want, that is a blessing - but I miss my husband at times desperately. I wish Jesus would return...I am ready to go! Chris7

Chris,Jesus is with you now [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Referring to the previous post:
Please believe it!!!Jesus is with you!

Chris - After living through my father's suicide 5 years ago, I discovered SAVE.org It stands for Suicide Awareness through Voices of Education. Adina W. has two books that you can purchase from the website. They were the most helpful ones I found.I also got through it by reading books on grief. It helps to know that you are not alone in your feelings right now.Take care.

Thanks for the information, I'll be looking that up. I guess if I was at ground zero with the knowledge that we had 20 minutes before we got hit, I might entertain the notion of suicide, but other than that, I just do not understand - I'm aware now there were childhood issues going on for him that I did not know about - he kept quite a bit hidden from us all. I just don't know what to do anymore, I make plans, I organize and clean, got a new SUV, you know, keep on living, taking small steps, but it all seems so pointless sometimes - I want to know what God wants from me/out of me to Glorify Him and get on with it, it hurts too much.Chris7

Chris I am sure you have many many emotions running rampant through your head and heart as I am sure your children do as well.I am praying that you will have perfect peace and that your children will be able to deal with what dad did without too much damage.I am so sorry. I don't know you, but I can only hope and pray the best for your family!

Chris7,May the lord bless you and your fsmily in your time of grief.Lord please bestow your love on this family in your name, Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.My Gods blessings pour unto your family in this time of great sorrow.Wallace

Oh Father God,
Please be with Chris7 and her children. You know what they need, whether it be comforting, or support, or nudges to move on. Please wrap them in the knowledge that you are the ultimate one to turn to. Please cover the children so that they do not confuse the actions of am imperfect earthly father with what they can expect from their Heavenly Father.Amen.

Hi Chris - This is what I have learned from my ordeal and how I make peace with it:Suicide is an irrational act. It does not make sense to you or me. We are trying to rationalize an irrational act.People who usually take their own lives have a chemical imbalance. Unfortunately, they way people die from this imbalance is sometimes suicide. It is a disease. No one raises an eyebrow if you get cancer and die from it. Unfortunately, suicide still has a stigma related to it.I also learned from my grief books that the best way to honor someone who has died is to live the best life you possibly can. Remember the tools he gave you and make him proud that he was a part of your life.I believe that people don't intentionally make mistakes. They make the best decision at the time given the information they have. They may realize a split second later that their decision could have been wrong, but did not set out to make a mistake at the time. At the time, it made sense and seemed right to him.Grief is a long, slow process. Hopefully, you are protected by the "fog" of the shock of the situation. I couldn't remember what I was doing from one moment to the next and would sit in the cafeteria watching everyone's life go on as normal and wonder how they could function when my life had taken such a horrible turn. I also remember clearly when the fog started to lift and I had to find another way to deal with things.It is called the waves of grief and it made a lot of sense to me. Just as you think you get through one part, something happens and slams you back as if you were hit by a wave. You have to figure out how to ride the next wave. I think this helps when you discover you have dealt with something and have to deal with it again. You thought you were "over it" (a particular stage) and it pops back up.People all grieve differently and at different times. Keep that in mind as you see people reacting in different ways.It is also so hard for your family and friends. They don't know what to say. The ones I appreciated most said, "I can't imagine what you are going through. I am sorry."The ones who tried to say something cute and clever just needed to go away. I am sure you have heard it, "He's in a better place, it was God's will..." While that may be true, it is probably not what you want to hear right now.The books that I mentioned at www.save.org were excellent. One is called Suicide - Why? I think it had about 75-100 questions and answers. The author's daughter took her life (I think around 18) and the books helped me very much.It helped to know that my feelings were normal. I felt like I was spinning out of control and that my life was broken into a million pieces. Reading books validated my feelings and I realized that I was not alone. Your situation seems unique, but there are many others that have been through a similar situation. When my dad died, 7 of the 9 people that sat near me at work approached me with similar stories. You would be amazed at how many lives are touched.Bottom line - you are probably never going to know why this happened and what he was thinking. And when you see him again, I doubt that will be your first question. No matter how well you think you know someone, you never really know what they are thinking inside. So, don't beat yourself up about it.I don't know if any of this helps you, it is just what I had to learn the hard way. I will pray for you and your family.

Thank you all for the prayers for comfort and peace and protection. I had a dream about him a few days ago, in it we were 'intimate' and I woke up and just cried. I don't know anything else, I've never 'been' with anyone else! There were some good times, of course, but overall, the marriage was not a good one and I knew I was hanging on to something not good for me, for my children, but thinking of another man, being with someone else really terrifies me (not that I don't like sex, I am passionate!) it just all sucks, to be honest with you all. I'm struggling with that. I know I want to be in a relationship, but its got to be God's will this time, not mine...sigh...you are so impatient when you are young to grow up and now I wish I did not have grown up worries.Chris7

Chris,
For some reason I am thinking of how Gods people were in the desert and they were tired of being there. I think they were ok when they had a mission and a leader with a clear plan, but the hardest time was when they were doing nothing but waiting. They were severly tempted.
Patience is not my strong point and through learning of the affair I have been forced to grow and be patient. My H affair was nothing compared to what you have to deal with, but I imagine, you also have felt like everyone see's you and thinks you are ok but on the inside you are screaming.
I am glad to see you here, we could all learn a lot from you.
L