Child support conflict - 02/27/09 08:46 PM
Wife 45, hus 49 -- each with an ex. Married 1.5 years, together 4-5. her 3 kids 17,22,24 him 3 kids 7, 16, 19 together 1 son 18 months.
I have paid my child support since seperating from my ex 5 years ago.
My wife has choosen (out of guilt mostly and her ex has her convinced it is o.k. because he pays for a lot) not to receive child support. This has been an issue (not so much the money but the show of allegiance the money demonstrates to me) for 3 years.
3 years ago she promised to file for it. 2.5 she said she would after we moved to our more expensive home. 1 year ago in counseling she said she would do it. Finally, 1 month ago after much prodding by me she did. Then I find out she checks a box that allows him to pay less each month rather than more to catch up on the 17 thousand he owes. He makes close to 100K and she makes 35K.
Obviously kids cost a lot. I have been making my payment and he hasn't. She even has her kids convinced this is o.k. because their dad is such a great guy. Meanwhile, we are strapped financially and fight about money. I drive a 4k piece of crap car and he drives a 40K pick-up (doesn't even have a need for a pick-up, its just an image thing)
Am I wrong in expecting a man to pay his "full" state expected amount of child support?
How should I approach this to have an enthusiastic agreement?
To be honest this is a great betrayal to me. She is essentially writing her ex a check each month for $900 without consideration of myself or the rest of our 7 kids.
I have paid my child support since seperating from my ex 5 years ago.
My wife has choosen (out of guilt mostly and her ex has her convinced it is o.k. because he pays for a lot) not to receive child support. This has been an issue (not so much the money but the show of allegiance the money demonstrates to me) for 3 years.
3 years ago she promised to file for it. 2.5 she said she would after we moved to our more expensive home. 1 year ago in counseling she said she would do it. Finally, 1 month ago after much prodding by me she did. Then I find out she checks a box that allows him to pay less each month rather than more to catch up on the 17 thousand he owes. He makes close to 100K and she makes 35K.
Obviously kids cost a lot. I have been making my payment and he hasn't. She even has her kids convinced this is o.k. because their dad is such a great guy. Meanwhile, we are strapped financially and fight about money. I drive a 4k piece of crap car and he drives a 40K pick-up (doesn't even have a need for a pick-up, its just an image thing)
Am I wrong in expecting a man to pay his "full" state expected amount of child support?
How should I approach this to have an enthusiastic agreement?
To be honest this is a great betrayal to me. She is essentially writing her ex a check each month for $900 without consideration of myself or the rest of our 7 kids.