Spoke with lawyer, the revised plan...... - 08/24/04 06:53 PM
Well I spoke w/a lawyer this morning. Good thing is I believe he is a “good” one and that will counsel me the way I need to be counseled. Maybe it’s not necessarily bad news but after talking to him I’ve kind of changed my position about fighting the D. I mean nothing has been filed as far as I know and I’m certainly not going to file but when it does happen, my stance has changed a little. I had basically convinced myself that I should do all I could to prolong and stall things because that would be doing all I could. However, I want to remain my dignity and come out smelling like roses. I have tried to maintain myself through all this that I wanted to take the high road and be able to look back without regret. I feel I have taken the high road and the only road for me. However, I feel if I would really contest things just to prolong everything then I would just come off as a bitter and angry woman who will stop at nothing to keep her husband. That is not the picture I want to leave w/my husband on the day the D is final and it will be final because there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
My lawyer did say that I could go ahead and email my H what I was going to email and come to some kind of agreement. But I kind of have to treat it as a #1 or #2 option type situation. If my h agrees to help out in the ways that I have asked then that will help me judge what I need to do. If he doesn’t then probably the best thing to do is see if he will deed the house over to me so that I will have total responsibility. Because I will need his cooperation in selling the house if it remains in both our names. I will continue to pay the bills until my H states he will help out or until it is decided by the court. There really wasn’t a whole lot my lawyer could do for me or advise me without me having any kind of papers. He said once I received D papers then to let him know asap although we wouldn’t reply until the very last day. Apparently there will be things on the petition and each will require a response and depending on what those are is how I will respond. There’s not a lot of assets per se just a lot of financial obligations. I told my lawyer I was concerned that because I make so much more money than my h that I would have to take the majority of the bills. He said that was a real possibility and I will have to decide if it comes to that how much I really contest to have my H take a fair load of the financial obligations.
We are probably looking at 3 months from start (time I’m served papers) to finish if I don’t want things to get ugly. My L said it’s going to cost my H about $1500 to file. He wouldn’t tell me how much it was going to cost me only that he charges $200/hr and it depends on which lawyer prepares what and depends on what I want to do. I made it clear that I was not going to be the one that files for a D. he was very nice and was honest w/me and talked to me about what the bible says and what God would want me to do, etc.
So I’m going to go ahead and send the email to H today and give him a couple of days to respond (he wrote in his letter he was going to check his email every day). If he hasn’t responded to me by Friday then I will have to assume that he doesn’t want to help in anything and I will have my lawyer draw up the necessary paperwork to have the house turned over to me, serve my husband w/that, and go about things on my own. I’m not necessarily discouraged but it still hurts that this could be over so quickly once it’s started. One thing I wasn’t happy about was the fact that it will definitely probably be said that we have been separated since last October since that is when I left the house. Even though everyone knows it wasn’t because we were having problems, it won’t look like that in court. But there’s nothing I can do about that now.
So thanks guys for your help and I’ll still come here. I do have a session w/SH on Friday but kind of feel like it’s more of a wrap up session. I think SH will be proud and agree that I have done all that I could for as long as I could but now my hand is being forced. I can’t continue to counsel w/SH because of the $$ situation. Lawyer fees take precedence right now and something has got to give. I’m okay and will be okay. Continued prayers to all, RR
My lawyer did say that I could go ahead and email my H what I was going to email and come to some kind of agreement. But I kind of have to treat it as a #1 or #2 option type situation. If my h agrees to help out in the ways that I have asked then that will help me judge what I need to do. If he doesn’t then probably the best thing to do is see if he will deed the house over to me so that I will have total responsibility. Because I will need his cooperation in selling the house if it remains in both our names. I will continue to pay the bills until my H states he will help out or until it is decided by the court. There really wasn’t a whole lot my lawyer could do for me or advise me without me having any kind of papers. He said once I received D papers then to let him know asap although we wouldn’t reply until the very last day. Apparently there will be things on the petition and each will require a response and depending on what those are is how I will respond. There’s not a lot of assets per se just a lot of financial obligations. I told my lawyer I was concerned that because I make so much more money than my h that I would have to take the majority of the bills. He said that was a real possibility and I will have to decide if it comes to that how much I really contest to have my H take a fair load of the financial obligations.
We are probably looking at 3 months from start (time I’m served papers) to finish if I don’t want things to get ugly. My L said it’s going to cost my H about $1500 to file. He wouldn’t tell me how much it was going to cost me only that he charges $200/hr and it depends on which lawyer prepares what and depends on what I want to do. I made it clear that I was not going to be the one that files for a D. he was very nice and was honest w/me and talked to me about what the bible says and what God would want me to do, etc.
So I’m going to go ahead and send the email to H today and give him a couple of days to respond (he wrote in his letter he was going to check his email every day). If he hasn’t responded to me by Friday then I will have to assume that he doesn’t want to help in anything and I will have my lawyer draw up the necessary paperwork to have the house turned over to me, serve my husband w/that, and go about things on my own. I’m not necessarily discouraged but it still hurts that this could be over so quickly once it’s started. One thing I wasn’t happy about was the fact that it will definitely probably be said that we have been separated since last October since that is when I left the house. Even though everyone knows it wasn’t because we were having problems, it won’t look like that in court. But there’s nothing I can do about that now.
So thanks guys for your help and I’ll still come here. I do have a session w/SH on Friday but kind of feel like it’s more of a wrap up session. I think SH will be proud and agree that I have done all that I could for as long as I could but now my hand is being forced. I can’t continue to counsel w/SH because of the $$ situation. Lawyer fees take precedence right now and something has got to give. I’m okay and will be okay. Continued prayers to all, RR