</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Octobergirl:
<strong> The OW died only back in March and now you are back with your exWH and engaged?
What happened to waiting a while? Did you ever fix the problems in your marriage beforehand? Would your ex still be with the OW if she didn't die?
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oct.
I appreciate your concerns. Let me answer some of your ???'s.
First of all, yes, ow just died in March. I also, had some concerns that xH was coming around only as a rebound. Originally, he probably was........but I watched, talked to him, listened, prayed, etc. I can see growth. I can see a changed man. I can tell he's truly remorseful.......it's in everything he says to me and does. Both toward me, our friends, and his own family (who were totally in favor of his A). He has essentially distanced himself from those family members who continue to have this attitude.
I believe ow's death was a wake-up call for him. A major fog-lifting wake-up call. A "
come to Jesus, in your face, get yourself straightened out life-changing event. He attends church (when with me or not), prays, asks God for direction/guidance. What more could a woman want from a man?
We were separated 3 years, div'd 2 years. In that time, I have worked on myself.....I have fixed those things that made me the kind of W that he wanted to RUN from. He had spent 3 yrs. being a different kind of "partner." Doing the kind of things for HER that he now sees he should have been doing for ME all these years (
his words). WHAT should I "wait" for? I always knew if he came around, agreed not to see OW anymore, I would give him "another chance." I had NO idea NC w/OW would come about b/c of her demise.....
But I have prayed, I have believed God would intervene and send him home and we would reconcile one day. It has happened. It has happened even better than I ever expected. He's a changed man. A man who is trying to follow God and live his life in accordance with GOD's principles. Exactly as I had prayed for. What more would I want to see?
Do I believe he'd still be w/ow if she had not died? Yes, I do. Doesn't that give me cause for concern? No. Why not? Because God has ordained all of this. And if her death is what it took to WAKE HIM UP, lift him OUT of the fog, so be it. God's ordained will must have included ow dying, and H being shaken to his core in order to come back to the Lord, and see that he (and I, either, for that matter), were NOT living our lives to honor Him. We will now. We have agreed to do that.
I hope this answers some of your concerns. I'm glad you asked, and I appreciate your looking out for me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
WAT!! Ya found me.
YOU wrote:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've never known a brain transplant surgeon, but you must have found a good one.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, I have. His name is Jesus. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Actually, He's a heart transplant surgeon. My H's heart has changed. And so has mine. We both know it. We both feel it. And we both know this is what God had in mind when he allowed our "old" M to DIE. It had been dying a slow, painful death for a long time anyway.
Now, like the phoenix rising out of the ashes, we will raise up a newer, better, more alive M. One that will honor HIM, and not seek to put ourselves first, or get upset when one or the other does something we each percieve as selfish.
THIS is my opinion of what the Harleys seek to help couples find. This is the ultimate "test" of commitment and unconditional love.
It is my story. Nothing can convince me that it isn't
exactly what God had planned to have happen for me (and H) all along once we strayed from His love.
Thanks for all your comments, friends.
God Bless,