Processing new twists and not sure what to think... - 09/22/04 01:20 PM
I'll try to be brief but wanted to give you an update. Nothing has been filed by me or H (as far as I know). We have been going through the process of putting the house on the market. Things are slow because I need to check with my attorney often and also the hurricane Ivan messed up that area pretty bad. Blessedly, our house made it through without a scratch according to H and I had asked him how his work and school made out. H will only communicate with me through email so I don't get responses right away. Anyway, I had an email when I came into work this morning from him that said his resturaunt was hit hard and he is out of work for awhile and his school has been put on hold for awhile but it may even get to the point that his classes are canceled and he won't graduate until spring.
What does all this mean? I'm not sure but it has me thinking. I don't know if H will even have the money now to file for divorce and since I will not file, I'm not sure where that leaves us. But say he does file and goes through (which it would due to no-fault state of florida) I'm not sure what will happen in regards to our bills. We will be able to pay off almost 1/3 with the sale of the house if it sells for what we are putting it on the market for but there is still quite a bit left over. Under Florida law the debt/assets are supposed to be split 50/50. I had already discussed w/my lawyer that after the bills are split that there is a possibility H could default or file bankruptcy and wanted to know what I could do. My lawyer (a Christian pro-marriage lawyer by the way), stated that I could make a provision in the settlement that stated that if H did either of those things then he would have to pay me alimony. So that put my mind at ease a little.
I'm not panicking or upset, it's just a new twist on everything because if H is out of work and out of school (he get's the GI bill to go to school but only if he's actually going) then how can he pay for things? I was thinking this (the divorce) was going to occur and be over pretty quickly but don't know anymore. H told me a couple of weeks ago that I would be served in a couple of weeks and I have not received anything yet. I still expect it every day though. So it's hard to know what to think, Praise God I have Jesus and the Holy Spirit to handle all this stuff but I still need your prayers. In the last few emails from H, the ones that have been about the storms and our house he has asked for me to pray for him and the people down there if I wanted to. Well he's never really said anything like this before and I'm not sure if he is finding a faith in God or trying to make himself sound better or what. But I can't worry about that, only to continue to pray for him and pray for God's will in his life and for him to serve God the way HE wants him to not the way man thinks it should be done.
I'm doing okay. Even though I had to move again, I am really glad I did. I feel more at home where I am and I'm finding out there are more and more church members that live by me. I mean I can actually see them pass my house, etc. I’m trying to get more involved in church. I'm still there every time the door is open. I joined the choir on sunday and I have also volunteered to help out with the servicemen's center that is now apart of our church since we are the headquarters for the Armed Forces Baptist Missions. They are still not finished w/renovation (building is across the street from the church). But when completely finished they plan to be open on friday and saturday nights, have computer access, TV, games, kitchen, etc. available for the single military people and they also have a sunday school class and lunch after church on sunday which I have helped with a couple of times.
Anyway, so continue to pray for me as I pray for you. I don't think he will have moved back to the house because of everything but that again would complicate things. I'm trying to arrange for the move of the household goods and not sure what my next step would be. I will continue to keep you updated (probably getting tired of this), God Bless, RR
What does all this mean? I'm not sure but it has me thinking. I don't know if H will even have the money now to file for divorce and since I will not file, I'm not sure where that leaves us. But say he does file and goes through (which it would due to no-fault state of florida) I'm not sure what will happen in regards to our bills. We will be able to pay off almost 1/3 with the sale of the house if it sells for what we are putting it on the market for but there is still quite a bit left over. Under Florida law the debt/assets are supposed to be split 50/50. I had already discussed w/my lawyer that after the bills are split that there is a possibility H could default or file bankruptcy and wanted to know what I could do. My lawyer (a Christian pro-marriage lawyer by the way), stated that I could make a provision in the settlement that stated that if H did either of those things then he would have to pay me alimony. So that put my mind at ease a little.
I'm not panicking or upset, it's just a new twist on everything because if H is out of work and out of school (he get's the GI bill to go to school but only if he's actually going) then how can he pay for things? I was thinking this (the divorce) was going to occur and be over pretty quickly but don't know anymore. H told me a couple of weeks ago that I would be served in a couple of weeks and I have not received anything yet. I still expect it every day though. So it's hard to know what to think, Praise God I have Jesus and the Holy Spirit to handle all this stuff but I still need your prayers. In the last few emails from H, the ones that have been about the storms and our house he has asked for me to pray for him and the people down there if I wanted to. Well he's never really said anything like this before and I'm not sure if he is finding a faith in God or trying to make himself sound better or what. But I can't worry about that, only to continue to pray for him and pray for God's will in his life and for him to serve God the way HE wants him to not the way man thinks it should be done.
I'm doing okay. Even though I had to move again, I am really glad I did. I feel more at home where I am and I'm finding out there are more and more church members that live by me. I mean I can actually see them pass my house, etc. I’m trying to get more involved in church. I'm still there every time the door is open. I joined the choir on sunday and I have also volunteered to help out with the servicemen's center that is now apart of our church since we are the headquarters for the Armed Forces Baptist Missions. They are still not finished w/renovation (building is across the street from the church). But when completely finished they plan to be open on friday and saturday nights, have computer access, TV, games, kitchen, etc. available for the single military people and they also have a sunday school class and lunch after church on sunday which I have helped with a couple of times.
Anyway, so continue to pray for me as I pray for you. I don't think he will have moved back to the house because of everything but that again would complicate things. I'm trying to arrange for the move of the household goods and not sure what my next step would be. I will continue to keep you updated (probably getting tired of this), God Bless, RR