The little things kids say! - Marriage Builders® Forums

As I was putting my four year old to bed tonight. He said something that made me walk away in tears. He looked at me so serious and said "Mommy, I am the little Daddy. I will take care of you." As I walked away after kissing him and hugging him he whispered that his Daddy told him to take care of me.

That broke my heart. It's sad that a four year old has to feel this way. His father is out somewhere with his OW not seeming to care at all. Yet it made me proud that I raised such a smart, sweet and caring little boy.

Oh dear. That is painful. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

OK.

The topic caught my eye. But mine are funny, not the pull at your heartstrings quips. Hope you don't mind NIML.

====
My oldest was about 11. Past the age where he can get away with skipping a shower a day and no one noticing. So he is out playing soccer with a friend one Saturday morning. He comes in the house all sweaty and stinky. Foul enough that the wife notices, I notice, and we can't believe he is not noticing as the wallpaper peels off when he passes.

So the wife, in horror, says "Oh my gosh, son, you really STINK!"

To which he looks at his friend and says, "Yeah. I think I'm hitting poverty."

===
My youngest is now 5 and learning to read. He is reading the cereal boxes, and carrying on like a 5 year old. Tarrying along, and not eating fast enough to get ready for school. The older two have finished breakfast and left the table. I am in the kitchen doing the dishes, alone with DS #3 who is finishing his breakfast and babbling away. I am about half-tuned in to him when he says in a clear, distinctive voice.

"Cheerios can help lower your testicles."

Which immediately gets my attention. I walk over to the cereal box and correct him, saying "Son, that spells 'cholesterol'."

Can't believe I kept a straight face through the exchange.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Oh Maryland <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Between you and Octobergirl I'm crying....you guys are going to have me on a cross country OW killing spree.

-Caren

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by ncwalker:


"Cheerios can help lower your testicles."

Can't believe I kept a straight face through the exchange. <hr /></blockquote>what a hoot! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

NC,
That is funny. My four year old when he was two would always come to me and ask for ocean. We were like what is ocean. He got into the fridge and pulled out the orange juice and said "This." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

He loves Thomas the Tank Engine. He goes around singing the theme song. But it's Thomas the Tank Kitchen. We laugh and laugh.

Also he jumps on my back and says "Mommy, give me a piggy bank ride." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ February 20, 2005, 09:20 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]

My stepson on Valentines evening saw that I was upset and crying. He made me a card and hugged me and said "Mom at least you still have me."

I have some very sweet loving kids.

Am I reading your signature line right?

So you met this step son (WH son, right?) when he was 6 and now he is 9 and his REAL dad is off doing the WH thing and he is looking at his step-mom and saying "You still have me."

THAT is a testimony.

I sometimes wonder if I would be able to love a step-kid the same as my own. Apparently it is possible. Thanks, NIML, that truly was a bright spot in my day.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by New&ImprovedMarylandLady:
 "Mommy, I am the little Daddy. I will take care of you." <hr /></blockquote>Those four year olds sure wear their hearts on their sleeves. I love their total honesty even if it can be a bit painful at times.

Cheers,

Miker

My son (3) loves to say: "Mum, I'm big and strong like my dad!"

---

I'm getting more and more 'grey charms' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> and have to color my hair... when my son plays on my head and sees roots, he says: Mommy, it's there again, you have to color it again!!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

---

This happened today:

We went to some stores, and one of places we planned to go is to buy a 'tool box', for I see how much he loves 'repairing' at home <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

So, he saw a toy and wanted it 'badly'.
I said - let's go over there to look for tool box we came for; he said - ok, but I want this one too.

Then, he saw the Bob the Builder truck, big (and expensive!) and, of course, forgot the previous one wanting this one 'badly'

I said - let's go over there I want to see something.

He said - Mum, don't dare even to try to trick me, for I do want this one!

And he's just three... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

NC
Actually I met him when he was three. At first it was so hard to accept that the man I loved and dated could not give me his complete attention. Especially because when we went out on dates he went with us. Very few times did we have someone to watch him. But in time I fell in love with both of them.

That is why I question my husband with this OW. She is 21 and a college student and her whole life ahead of her. And she wants to be with a man that has obligations and responsiblity that will tie her down IF they would ever get into a serious R. She can say she accepts his children. BUT the fact is she has never been around them or met them. So until they are a part of her life she cannot say she accepts him and his children. She has no idea how hard it really is. I do because I have been there. But she does not have to worry about my kids ever. They will not be around her at all. My husband already agreed on this and said he would put it in our separation agreement IF we do get that far. But who knows he has went back on his word so many times before.

[ February 20, 2005, 09:54 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]

BTW,
That is funny. Everyday they say something new, funny or sweet. It's wonderful to be a parent.

It's funny how they mock what they see. I am always going around cleaning up little things or closing doors and such.

My four year old will go around closing doors, racing around before bed saying he needs to clean up the mess, putting the lid down on the toliet and stuff. He is a little neat freak when it comes to grown up stuff. But his toys are a different story. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Early in the morning my son came over in my bed. I pulled him close and told him that he didn't have to take care of me. That I will take care of him always and I love him. I wanted him to know it wasn't his job to take care of me. He just smiled and hugged me back.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by New&ImprovedMarylandLady:
 It's funny how they mock what they see. I am always going around cleaning up little things or closing doors and such.

My four year old will go around closing doors, racing around before bed saying he needs to clean up the mess, putting the lid down on the toliet and stuff. He is a little neat freak when it comes to grown up stuff. But his toys are a different story. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>Sounds like my DD3. She is a hoot or a hinderance depending on how close it is to my bedtime. She knows where everything is usually kept so I usually can not get away with put item X in a different spot.

Of if I am assembling something and do not get all of the wrappings thrown out soon enough she calls me a messy boy.

The thing I find the cutest and hate the most is when she echos me or El when trying to get DD13 or DS11 out of bed in the morning. She acts just like a little mommy.

Hi maryland lady,

I was glad to read your last post where you told your son that it wasn't his job to take care of you.That was horrible of your WH to put that kind of thought in your your son's mind.Children do not take care of parents like he suggested.

Like you,I am thoroughly enjoying being a parent.I feel so fulfilled being here for my girls.I feel blessed that I am the one who is making their hearts and minds happy so that,God forbid,they were no longer here,they had a loving,safe and secure and fun life,however long that lasts.I will make sure of it as long as I am alive!

Take care~

O

Wow.
A little boy of four is right in the midst of his Oedipal phase (Freud's stages of development).
They want to be with their mommy more than anything and see daddy as a rival.
It is so sad when daddy is a pitiful rival and the boy feels that they must step up to the plate.

You said and did the exact right thing.

Way to go.

KIDS ARE THE BEST!!!!

My 3 yo tells me he is "baby daddy" but that means that he gets to sleep with mommy when daddy is out of town on business.

A couple of weeks ago I played "nine and go sneak" with my 5 yo, it's a lot like hide and go seek.

On the heart breakers it was my 11yo looking at me on one of the many nights me and the kids ate out late cause mommy hadn't come home and saying is OM mommies boyfriend? That made me realize I had to make my stand.

Always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!

Thanks for sharing some of the little things your kids have said. Some made me laugh and some made tears come to my eyes.

Nobody in their right mind can say that this doesn't affect children. I have noticed little things that my sons have been doing. Things that they have never said or done before. My four year old when he does something that upsets me and he gets in trouble will start crying and asking over and over again if I still love him. Of course I always tell him yes that just because he does something bad doesn't mean that I would ever stop loving him.

My stepson seems to have a lot of anger lately. And is having trouble at school again. He will often tell me that if his Dad and me separate that he wants to live with me. I ask him why... He says that I never leave like his Dad does and that I take care of him. He also said last week that it doesn't feel like he has a Dad anymore.

My brotherâ€™s children who have also recently been in a home where there was infidelity. Told my mom to tell my children to just be good, not fight and make sure their rooms were clean. That broke my heart. These kids think they have done something wrong. No matter how much you reassure them that they did not.

I get blamed that I feed the kids heads. Why in the world would I want them to hurt more than they already are? I also get told that I use the kids against my husband. NO I just feel that he does not even see what he is doing to them. So yes I do remind him about the kids. When you have children shouldn't they come first before a OW? My husband's OW comes before his kids. He hasn't talked to my stepson since he dropped him off at school 8:30 on Friday morning. And that was the last time he held the baby or saw my son. When he is with the OW most of the time he turns his phone off and does not check his voicemail for days. If there was ever a emergency he would not even know. Even his mom has been trying to reach him and she cannot. To put a woman above your children, family, work and etc... Something is really really wrong.

I just hope he realizes one day the damage he is causing. And take the steps to get help and become the responsible man he once was. The man I met and married was totally responsible, caring and a very good father. I felt totally loved, wanted and needed. Still do sometimes. But lately his addiction to this girl has taken over his life.

[ February 22, 2005, 10:14 AM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]

When I was a teenager, before I had my own kids, I was driving my mother's 4th husband's grandson around (confused?). [*edited* to correct, it was my mother's 5th husband, my 4th step-dad. Sheesh! Now I'M confused!]

He needed to go somewhere in our town, and his parents told me he could direct me there, he knew the area well.

So, we are driving around and around, and I said, "Are you sure you know where we are going?"

And he goes, "Yes! I'm telling you, I know this area like the back of my head!"

I don't think we ever got where we were going, and if we did, we were too late when we got there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

[ February 22, 2005, 10:25 AM: Message edited by: Spider Slayer ]

NIM...
My 8 yr. old son said those exact words to me. He told me that he will take care of me and that his daddy told him to protect me.
I cried my eyes out. For one...I cried because my 8 yr. old son shouldn't have to carry that burden of "taking care" of me. I just don't think it's fair that my WH put all of that pressure on my son.
If my WH was so concerend about me then he shouldn't have left to be with OW. It just kills me what they do to their children.

My kids went to preschool at a place that were most of the kids came from traditional 2 parents families. One year, the kids had an ongoing game/playacting where the kids got married. They'd have big wedding processions with a bride, groom and all the trimmings. It was really cute.

I was telling a friend about this. Her kid went to a preschool where most of the kids came from divorced families. What game did they play? You got it, DATING!

Kids mimic so much of what they see.

SS your post reminded me of my Dad. He always says those exact words. We get lost then he panics. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Tree,
It is painful. And I hope one day they open their eyes to what they are doing to them. And treat them like they are suppose to be treated.

NIM,

I'm sorry that you and the children are in such pain <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . Anyone that says it doesn't affect the children are out of their mind nuts <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> It took every ounce of faith NOT to hate my ex and ow. The things my girls went through were horrible. There was a time when my oldest was having terrible migraines, she would get them and they last 3 days, got sick, in pain, etc. I took her to the ER and her dad said he couldn't come because something was wrong with his car. OK use the ow's. I couldn't go into the room with her because at that time I was pregnant with my son. I feel so bad everytime I remember her being so scared, thank God for the sweet nurse.

Hugs to you and your children

In my post earlier I mentioned that lately my stepson seems to have a lot of anger.

Lately we have been having problems with him in school. Last week he got written up for kicking a boy during recess. Later we got a call from the principal stating that the boys parents took him to the ER and the boy was released with deep bruising of the adominal area. My stepson is 9 and is underweight. We were shocked that he could do that.

Well today I get a note from the teacher. At recess he slapped another child in the face. I asked him why. He told me because he was just playing. I continued talking to him about the incident and he admitted that the boy made him angry. He has been told over and over to keep his hands to himself yet lately he cannot seem to maintain self control. We have also stressed that if someone is bothering him he should tell the teacher. We have had other problems in the past but only with him talking and not getting his work done.

I notice at home he gets very angry lately for no reason. Even at me. The next second he is very loving. Lately if he doesn't get what he wants he raises his voice and argues and sometimes goes stomping off. Maybe it's just his age but I also think that he is dealing with other issues. He never has been one to really open up about what he is thinking or feeling. I think what his mom did to him is affecting him along with his Dad not being around like he should be.

I am sad. I am hurting for my children. Enough is enough already. But I am trying to be strong for them because I am really all they have at the moment.

Oh I can relate. Can the school have him talk to the school counselor? I know the schools around here have groups for anger, making friends, when there is problems at home. Your SS really needs lots of love and attention, he needs to feel special. Even after xh and I divorce the affects are there.

When he moved ow and her kids up here my #2 dd had some MAJOR behavior problems. The school tested her and found her to be in a depression, at one counselor they tried to say ADD but I didn't think so. After 2 years of the school's help and taking DD to counseling she is FINALLY changing for the better. Dr. Phil even has stated no wonder a child is acting out they are under too much stress!!!

Go figure, DD's behavior gets better and now she is having pre puberty issues, talk about sassy mouth <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Hang in there sweetie, it is so hard to deal with our pain and the pain of our children!!! My heart really breaks for your ss

Your SS has every right to be a bundle of anger right now. He's got the new sibling thing going with his new little sister. That's good for a few points on the stress meter. School doesn't seem to be going his way. Then his dad has abandoned him. He must be in the red zone now. Honor his anger. It's better to be mad and express it in the right manner than to let it simmer undercover. If you can manage it, get him into some physical activity. In the old days, they'd send him out to chop firewood. I'd stay away from team sports. Too much cooperation and comparison involved. Martial Arts is good for mental discipline as a physical outlet.

Try wrestling. DS#2 is a wrestler and it's done amazing things for him. He was considered a very bad, very physical kid when he was in elementary school. He was often in trouble. Well, a lot in trouble. Wrestling has channeled his energy. There are lots of inexpensive programs for kids around. Some programs start kids as young as 3. (Meaning you could possibly send both boys to the same activity.) Wrestling is a great sport for small, underweight kids. Generally at a practice, there is a lot of physical conditioning, agility drills and live wrestling. They learn strategy, fairness and discipline. A good wrestler cannot be stupid. One thing that wrestling has that other sports don't is a lot of close physical contact. No helmets, no pads, no distance. The kids roll around on the floor like puppies together, they touch each other. The coaches have to hold the boys, cradle the boys to teach them moves. There is a point when boys move away from their mother's touch but they still need it. Most of the wrestling coaches I know are like teddy bears. They are strong, patient, good men. They nuture the boys. A few can be screamers and even though they mean well, I'd stay away from them. Wrestling is a good way to build self-esteem and strength. It's not for everybody but it's worth a try.

As I type this, DS#2 and DD are heading off to a kids wrestling workshop at the high school. DS is helping teach but DD wanted to wrestle. She's got some girlfriends there but she can take down most of the boys. Both kids feel strong and proud. They will come home very, very tired.

In my book, that's a really good thing.

I think that is a great idea. He has been asking about doing Martial Arts for months now. I will check on that tomorrow. The local community college offers lots of classes for children for under $50.

My stepson is now very sick. I think he has the flu. He got in the car after school saying his tummy hurt really bad. Course his tummy or something always hurts when he knows he is bringing home a bad report. He ate something little but couldn't keep it down. I think he has the flu. I tried to give him some medication but he ended up throwing that back up five seconds later. I hate to see one of my kids sick. I would rather be sick then see them like that.

My daughter has been very cranky for the last three days. I don't know if she can sense my sadness or not. She never cries but for the last three days she has been crying contantly. I feel stressed, sad and alone in all of this. BUT I don't need him if he doesn't WANT to be here.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> My stepson seems to have a lot of anger lately. And is having trouble at school again. He will often tell me that if his Dad and me separate that he wants to live with me. I ask him why... He says that I never leave like his Dad does and that I take care of him. He also said last week that it doesn't feel like he has a Dad anymore.
<hr /></blockquote>Same here. Mine is doing homework at home and not turning it in at school, being the clown class, etc. His mom is not around.
She Told him was picking him up last Thursday and never call nor showed up. Daddy is over the road most of the time. He is aware of what is going on between dad and I. I asked him if he would go with daddy if daddy had to move out of the house and he said NO. I love him as my own. It hurts seeing he has gone through so much in his young life. I explain to him it has nothing to do with him or nothing that he has done wrong and that is just grown up stuff, but I am sure he does not understands that fully yet.

Kids are so much more aware than we ever imagine.

When my wife and I were going through our crap, my daughter (5 at the time) said this to me on the phone.

"Daddy, there is an invisible string between us that will stretch but will never break."

Tears me up typing it now. One, because of how aware she she was of the situation and how she was reacting to it. Two, because she tried to make me feel better.

I would like to say the apple didn't fall too far from the tree but....

God bless our kids

Doug

My middle son (4) is speech delayed so pretty much everything he says is so cute- however he came home from his Speech based preschool today where they are planning stuff for Easter <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> already- and he took out the Cocoa Puffs and told me he could not eat them anymore because they are "rabbit poop" and he was being dead serious. Too cute.

My youngest who just turned 2 decided last week that he was too big to pee and poop in his diaper so he takes off his diaper and puts his pants back on- he has gone a whole week with only one accident! Why am I posting that on this thread? Well yesterday he came running up to me and kept saying- Mommy I pooped- well concerned because he was not wearing a diaper I asked what he had done with it (thinking he pooped on the floor) he said "my butt put it in the big boy potty" I said it did! then what happened? "It went swimming"-- too cute!!
Okay maybe only for me- but I am very proud of him I hope he keeps this up- no kids in diapers- what would I do???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

KMEJ
That is some funny stuff. It took forever to get my son to poop in the potty. He was so afraid. He still is at times and will hold it for days. Then he will rush me out of the bathroom saying "get out it's gonna stink."

Everyday he comes up with something off the wall funny.

It was wonderful not having to buy diapers. They are so expensive. Right now I am lucky because I got many packs at my shower so I haven't really had to buy much.

When my daughter was learning to use the toilet around Christmas time. And I had apparently been playing a CD that had The Hallelujah Chorus on it.

She finished one of her stinky jobs and, clearly, as she left the bathroom, she said, "Hallelujah, big shooey."

It was even funnier when, a few days later, we got to church and, as soon as we sat down, she audibly said it again.

And today my son told me what he wants his teachers go give up for Lent.....homework.