Pepperband, what did you mean by this is only the beginning?
[color:"blue"] The discovery and the stopping of the actual affair is only the first door you walk through on your way to recovery.
Real recovery takes a few years ... the usual is about 2 years. (hubby and I are 9 years recovered) Recovery begins when there is actual NC (otherwise the work / neighborhood contact triggers 'feeling' in the individual adulterors) and both spouses are putting forth committed effort to fix the marriage.
You are starting out on pretty good footing.
Recovery is not for sissies.
Conflict avoiding is a 'no-no' ... issued previously avoided and ignored must be held to the light and dealt with straightforwardly ....
Welcome to MB by the way
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Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />