OT: Attn ~ ark, and/or others familiar with mental illness and individual rights - 05/27/05 07:52 PM
OK, the nursing home that my mother lives in is trying to evict her ~ again. The reason they are sighting is that she is a danger to herself, and also that she is infringing upon the rights of the other residents. I guess my question is, where do her rights begin and end, vs. those of the other residents that she co-habitates with. It all seems very black and white, but I am now stuck in this area of gray.
We are meeting the the care center, and the ohmbudsman (sp?) Tuesday, and I would like to get my thoughts clear on this subject before then, to present my "case."
Here is what I have posted on another thread. Please let me know what other information you might need.
Does anyone know how this should fall? Last time the judge ruled that the nursing home she is in is a level (I can't remember exactly) B or something, and that was the level of care my mother requires ~ so they were forced to keep her. We asked her doctor about medication changes, and he said he didn't want to change her meds again (but wanted to send her somewhere else for evaluation for med changes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> WHICH the facility wouldn't do, because she is too YOUNG!); said doctor also told my aunt that the staff has gone above and beyond their duty to care for my mother, and that we can't expect them to take care of her until she dies. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Where does my mother's right to reside in a skilled nursing facility, that claims to have the capacity to care for people such as her, end ~ in favor of her not yelling at other residents randomly in the halls and in the dining room? It all seems so gray.
Because if they can't keep her there, where will she go? Doesn't she have a right to have a home, too?
Spidey, who might not be able to see the forest for the tree pressed up against her face.
We are meeting the the care center, and the ohmbudsman (sp?) Tuesday, and I would like to get my thoughts clear on this subject before then, to present my "case."
Here is what I have posted on another thread. Please let me know what other information you might need.
Quote
There simply are no good solutions. Ideally, we would put her in a women-only place, but she has 100% dimentia, so the assisted living places won't take her. Basically, we'd have to find her another place like the one she is in, but no one will take her ~ especially for the behavior problems that this care center wants to get rid of her for! I guess there is a "mental" place in another city about 40 minutes away from us.
She is a person who gets stability from her routine. To take her away from the staff she knows, the routine she knows, I think will just exaccerbate her behavior problems. Then, some OTHER facility will be having a harder time than THIS one is dealing with her. *sigh* It just sucks. We were just in on May 11 in a care conference, and everything was just fine. Then the doctor called my aunt up yesterday (May 26) wanting either her or myself to go get my mother, as they were discharging her!!!
And I do understand where the nursing home is coming from. My mom is 54, and she is both like a child, as well as remembering more "adult" things. Apparently, she has been talking a lot lately about masturbation, and how big this male resident's who-ha is, and how her 5th H used to take her home (from the nursing home) to have SF with her. And she says it loudly. And I guess the gentleman-in-question (male resident) is beginning to get interested in her SF propositions. And the staff is worried she's going to get herself into a sitch she can't get out of (AGAIN! This is what happened last time) ~ or the male resident is going to lose some of HIS rights to keep him away from her. And this last weekend, apparently she was going on and on about all of the above, while a visiting family was in there with small children.
She just has no clue. She is a loose cannon with her words, she curses, she gets angry. Not all the time, but it kinda goes in spurts. 15 days ago she was doing great. Now today they want her out. The Activity Director there has been with my mom for over 10 years now. She is her best friend. Even when I am visiting my mom, she will ask me where Helen is. The nursing home also finally got her her own room. That has been HUGE. Because she can't have a phone (calls us all night/morning long, over and over and over), we have to lock her wardrobe or she puts all her clothes on each day and throws them on the floor. When she had roomates, she would use THEIR phone even when we took hers out (all these things are big-time monitored and regulated for resident's rights ~ it is a big deal to have a phone taken out of the room, and also to lock up personal effects from the resident), the other resident's family didn't want that for THEIR loved one (understandable). So my mother would then use their phone, take THEIR clothes! *sigh*
But she won't get any better anywhere else, I don't think. There is not a women's only facility, she is too young for a lot of places, yet too old and dimentia for others. Last time, we went through a 6-month long ordeal to fight to keep her in this place. And they are wanting to discharge her on the same grounds as last time. It all just sucks. There are no good alternatives, just trying to work with what we've got.
Last time they wanted to kick her out, 5 years ago, my aunt and I SCOURED the valley (that is a term for our city, and the surrounding 50 miles) for options, and were turned down EVERYwhere. Our only hope is to keep her in the place that accepted her all those years ago ~ the place she is in now. Well, that seems to be our only chance now. Maybe something else will reveal itself.
She is a person who gets stability from her routine. To take her away from the staff she knows, the routine she knows, I think will just exaccerbate her behavior problems. Then, some OTHER facility will be having a harder time than THIS one is dealing with her. *sigh* It just sucks. We were just in on May 11 in a care conference, and everything was just fine. Then the doctor called my aunt up yesterday (May 26) wanting either her or myself to go get my mother, as they were discharging her!!!
And I do understand where the nursing home is coming from. My mom is 54, and she is both like a child, as well as remembering more "adult" things. Apparently, she has been talking a lot lately about masturbation, and how big this male resident's who-ha is, and how her 5th H used to take her home (from the nursing home) to have SF with her. And she says it loudly. And I guess the gentleman-in-question (male resident) is beginning to get interested in her SF propositions. And the staff is worried she's going to get herself into a sitch she can't get out of (AGAIN! This is what happened last time) ~ or the male resident is going to lose some of HIS rights to keep him away from her. And this last weekend, apparently she was going on and on about all of the above, while a visiting family was in there with small children.
She just has no clue. She is a loose cannon with her words, she curses, she gets angry. Not all the time, but it kinda goes in spurts. 15 days ago she was doing great. Now today they want her out. The Activity Director there has been with my mom for over 10 years now. She is her best friend. Even when I am visiting my mom, she will ask me where Helen is. The nursing home also finally got her her own room. That has been HUGE. Because she can't have a phone (calls us all night/morning long, over and over and over), we have to lock her wardrobe or she puts all her clothes on each day and throws them on the floor. When she had roomates, she would use THEIR phone even when we took hers out (all these things are big-time monitored and regulated for resident's rights ~ it is a big deal to have a phone taken out of the room, and also to lock up personal effects from the resident), the other resident's family didn't want that for THEIR loved one (understandable). So my mother would then use their phone, take THEIR clothes! *sigh*
But she won't get any better anywhere else, I don't think. There is not a women's only facility, she is too young for a lot of places, yet too old and dimentia for others. Last time, we went through a 6-month long ordeal to fight to keep her in this place. And they are wanting to discharge her on the same grounds as last time. It all just sucks. There are no good alternatives, just trying to work with what we've got.
Last time they wanted to kick her out, 5 years ago, my aunt and I SCOURED the valley (that is a term for our city, and the surrounding 50 miles) for options, and were turned down EVERYwhere. Our only hope is to keep her in the place that accepted her all those years ago ~ the place she is in now. Well, that seems to be our only chance now. Maybe something else will reveal itself.
Does anyone know how this should fall? Last time the judge ruled that the nursing home she is in is a level (I can't remember exactly) B or something, and that was the level of care my mother requires ~ so they were forced to keep her. We asked her doctor about medication changes, and he said he didn't want to change her meds again (but wanted to send her somewhere else for evaluation for med changes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> WHICH the facility wouldn't do, because she is too YOUNG!); said doctor also told my aunt that the staff has gone above and beyond their duty to care for my mother, and that we can't expect them to take care of her until she dies. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Where does my mother's right to reside in a skilled nursing facility, that claims to have the capacity to care for people such as her, end ~ in favor of her not yelling at other residents randomly in the halls and in the dining room? It all seems so gray.
Because if they can't keep her there, where will she go? Doesn't she have a right to have a home, too?
Spidey, who might not be able to see the forest for the tree pressed up against her face.