Well Plan B is in Full Swing... and I Hired an Atty... :( - 06/26/05 03:52 AM
Well the Plan B letter is delivered...
AND:
I hired an atty today!! I can do the Plan B as my prep for Plan D, but I finally found one I could sorta afford and I feel as if I am near the end of this journey anyway.
I feel that even *if* WH has some sudden epiphany, that just puts us back to the beginning again, doesn't it?
The lawyer is a collaborative family lawyer so I am seeking to be cooperative and kind...no LBing even in D! She will draw up the separation agreement and if he agrees and signs she will file it. Then in 90 days I have to go to court and have the D finalized...<heavy sigh>
I look around here at all the hurting souls, even the ones in recovery who are still triggering and trying to get past dubious anniversaries and d-days... I cannot imagine living forever w/o WH but then again I can imagine even less that I can ever really trust him again... do I really want to spend eternity looking around every corner and waiting for the other shoe to fall?
I am not sure that I can ever get past this... not with him! We are talking about a repeat offender who *KNEW* the devastation brought on by his first A, who went through counseling and into recovery with me...who thanked me for standing by and seeing us through, for believing in us even when he did not <sigh> AND yet he does it again???!!!
Seriously, how many here can say that they got through this and survived happily??
I am also "glancing" around at what is out there... I feel like I have this imaginary puzzle piece and that someone, somewhere has another with the edges just right so that the fit is comfortable and effortless...
I am not ACTIVELY searching for anything right now, but I am certainly much more aware of the opposite sex than I have been in years... yes, I was *so* faithful that I often didn't notice when I was being "checked out" or the subtle nuances and body languages that are so crucial to human communication. Too bad I was the only one!
Well, I am drained and depressed, but not in a "my world is over" sorta way, more like a "this sucks but life goes on" sorta way, KWIM? Just wanted to update you guys in the saga that has been my life!
AND:
I hired an atty today!! I can do the Plan B as my prep for Plan D, but I finally found one I could sorta afford and I feel as if I am near the end of this journey anyway.
I feel that even *if* WH has some sudden epiphany, that just puts us back to the beginning again, doesn't it?
The lawyer is a collaborative family lawyer so I am seeking to be cooperative and kind...no LBing even in D! She will draw up the separation agreement and if he agrees and signs she will file it. Then in 90 days I have to go to court and have the D finalized...<heavy sigh>
I look around here at all the hurting souls, even the ones in recovery who are still triggering and trying to get past dubious anniversaries and d-days... I cannot imagine living forever w/o WH but then again I can imagine even less that I can ever really trust him again... do I really want to spend eternity looking around every corner and waiting for the other shoe to fall?
I am not sure that I can ever get past this... not with him! We are talking about a repeat offender who *KNEW* the devastation brought on by his first A, who went through counseling and into recovery with me...who thanked me for standing by and seeing us through, for believing in us even when he did not <sigh> AND yet he does it again???!!!
Seriously, how many here can say that they got through this and survived happily??
I am also "glancing" around at what is out there... I feel like I have this imaginary puzzle piece and that someone, somewhere has another with the edges just right so that the fit is comfortable and effortless...
I am not ACTIVELY searching for anything right now, but I am certainly much more aware of the opposite sex than I have been in years... yes, I was *so* faithful that I often didn't notice when I was being "checked out" or the subtle nuances and body languages that are so crucial to human communication. Too bad I was the only one!
Well, I am drained and depressed, but not in a "my world is over" sorta way, more like a "this sucks but life goes on" sorta way, KWIM? Just wanted to update you guys in the saga that has been my life!