Update!!! For those who remember me. - 09/23/05 02:20 PM
I just wanted to come and give you guys a update on my sitch...
Things are getting better for me a little each day. Even though through this whole ordeal we have lost a lot I continue to move on and stand strong for my kids.
My husband lost his job in April because of taking to much time off to go see the OW. His cell was cut off because we were getting 800.00 bills a month and couldn't afford the phone anymore. We have no medical insurance or savings. BUT I have found ways since April to pay the bills and keep our mortgage payment on time. I have found strength in myself that I never knew I had.
In June I got to the point where things were getting worse and I pretty much just shut down. I let go of everything and I told him to go do what he wanted. That I didn't care anymore. He would go for weeks at a time with the OW. I started going tanning, losing weight, wearing clothes that I never use to wear, hanging out with friends and enjoying life even though things were very bad around me.
I found pieces of myself that I had lost through this whole thing. In June I received a call from my husband. He wanted to know if I was still willing to try. I told him that I was but he had to end the R with the OW. He told me he was willing. We both know that the road ahead of us will be long and bumpy. But with BOTH of us willing to work out our issues then things will eventually get better.
After spending about 5 months sleeping on the couch... That night he came home he started sleeping next to me in bed. I felt scared but happy and the same time. One good thing is the fact that the OW lives so far away. I WILL KNOW if he goes to see her or doesn't keep his word. He has no cell anymore so keeping in any type of contact is pretty hard.
He has told me many things about the OW. And it seems the time he had with her made him realize many things about their so called R. I think with the extra time together the fantasy bubble popped and reality set in.
Yesterday he finally got some calls about a job. One he starts on Mon. Things are getting better all the time. Just right now all the guilt he didn't feel throughout this whole thing is finally catching up to him. He is depressed and feels bad about all the things he has done. But knows there is no way he can make it up or take it back.
I just want to learn from what has happened. I want to move on and see what we can find in one another as he does. We both know what failed before and made our marriage vulnurable now we can fix those things the second time around.
I know some may wonder why I am still with him. Or why I would give him another chance. But I don't want to live my life wondering "what if". I also still love him and know the man he can be. From cruel, distant, rude and uncaring... I know see the loving, caring man I once knew. I feel strong. And I now know with or without him I can make it on my own.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.
PS... Little Chloe is now 10 months old and cute as a button.... Got pics to show if anyone is interested.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Things are getting better for me a little each day. Even though through this whole ordeal we have lost a lot I continue to move on and stand strong for my kids.
My husband lost his job in April because of taking to much time off to go see the OW. His cell was cut off because we were getting 800.00 bills a month and couldn't afford the phone anymore. We have no medical insurance or savings. BUT I have found ways since April to pay the bills and keep our mortgage payment on time. I have found strength in myself that I never knew I had.
In June I got to the point where things were getting worse and I pretty much just shut down. I let go of everything and I told him to go do what he wanted. That I didn't care anymore. He would go for weeks at a time with the OW. I started going tanning, losing weight, wearing clothes that I never use to wear, hanging out with friends and enjoying life even though things were very bad around me.
I found pieces of myself that I had lost through this whole thing. In June I received a call from my husband. He wanted to know if I was still willing to try. I told him that I was but he had to end the R with the OW. He told me he was willing. We both know that the road ahead of us will be long and bumpy. But with BOTH of us willing to work out our issues then things will eventually get better.
After spending about 5 months sleeping on the couch... That night he came home he started sleeping next to me in bed. I felt scared but happy and the same time. One good thing is the fact that the OW lives so far away. I WILL KNOW if he goes to see her or doesn't keep his word. He has no cell anymore so keeping in any type of contact is pretty hard.
He has told me many things about the OW. And it seems the time he had with her made him realize many things about their so called R. I think with the extra time together the fantasy bubble popped and reality set in.
Yesterday he finally got some calls about a job. One he starts on Mon. Things are getting better all the time. Just right now all the guilt he didn't feel throughout this whole thing is finally catching up to him. He is depressed and feels bad about all the things he has done. But knows there is no way he can make it up or take it back.
I just want to learn from what has happened. I want to move on and see what we can find in one another as he does. We both know what failed before and made our marriage vulnurable now we can fix those things the second time around.
I know some may wonder why I am still with him. Or why I would give him another chance. But I don't want to live my life wondering "what if". I also still love him and know the man he can be. From cruel, distant, rude and uncaring... I know see the loving, caring man I once knew. I feel strong. And I now know with or without him I can make it on my own.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.
PS... Little Chloe is now 10 months old and cute as a button.... Got pics to show if anyone is interested.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />