I just wanted to come and give you guys a update on my sitch...

Things are getting better for me a little each day. Even though through this whole ordeal we have lost a lot I continue to move on and stand strong for my kids.

My husband lost his job in April because of taking to much time off to go see the OW. His cell was cut off because we were getting 800.00 bills a month and couldn't afford the phone anymore. We have no medical insurance or savings. BUT I have found ways since April to pay the bills and keep our mortgage payment on time. I have found strength in myself that I never knew I had.

In June I got to the point where things were getting worse and I pretty much just shut down. I let go of everything and I told him to go do what he wanted. That I didn't care anymore. He would go for weeks at a time with the OW. I started going tanning, losing weight, wearing clothes that I never use to wear, hanging out with friends and enjoying life even though things were very bad around me.

I found pieces of myself that I had lost through this whole thing. In June I received a call from my husband. He wanted to know if I was still willing to try. I told him that I was but he had to end the R with the OW. He told me he was willing. We both know that the road ahead of us will be long and bumpy. But with BOTH of us willing to work out our issues then things will eventually get better.

After spending about 5 months sleeping on the couch... That night he came home he started sleeping next to me in bed. I felt scared but happy and the same time. One good thing is the fact that the OW lives so far away. I WILL KNOW if he goes to see her or doesn't keep his word. He has no cell anymore so keeping in any type of contact is pretty hard.

He has told me many things about the OW. And it seems the time he had with her made him realize many things about their so called R. I think with the extra time together the fantasy bubble popped and reality set in.

Yesterday he finally got some calls about a job. One he starts on Mon. Things are getting better all the time. Just right now all the guilt he didn't feel throughout this whole thing is finally catching up to him. He is depressed and feels bad about all the things he has done. But knows there is no way he can make it up or take it back.

I just want to learn from what has happened. I want to move on and see what we can find in one another as he does. We both know what failed before and made our marriage vulnurable now we can fix those things the second time around.

I know some may wonder why I am still with him. Or why I would give him another chance. But I don't want to live my life wondering "what if". I also still love him and know the man he can be. From cruel, distant, rude and uncaring... I know see the loving, caring man I once knew. I feel strong. And I now know with or without him I can make it on my own.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.

PS... Little Chloe is now 10 months old and cute as a button.... Got pics to show if anyone is interested.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Yes..send updated pics!

ML, what is your recovery plan? Have you firm boundaries in place? I understand giving him another chance as I have done the same many times but now my M is ending. I pray this is a new beginning for you.

FF,
Do you have a email addy? Things are going well. He knows my boundaries. I am still very paranoid when I leave the house or he does that he will call her. Or take off again and go see her. But he has been very understanding and tries to do things to reassure me this is what he wants and is where he wants to be.

I am hopefull for a new beginning. But at the same time I have my gaurd up and am realistic. I am trying to stay positive and see what happens. And I have many things to work on and many new goals for myself.

Sorry to hear that things are not working out for you. I haven't been here in months. I just had to get away from the site for awhile. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Good to hear from you. Yes, pictures.

I remember you! Glad to hear from you. I can't believe that baby is already 10 months old!! Time flies by.

It sounds like H is finally seeing more clearly. And it sounds like you continued to take care of yourself. I'm with Believer on the boundaries...and, are either of you in counseling? I did not demand that for us and our "recovery" and I regret it. I did a lot of counseling but guess who didn't? And who doesn't really believe in it? That may never happen for us. But, I am finding ways to do my part, be the wife I am called to be and we'll see what happens. It is never too late to call it off if I need to. There are days I want out but most I am ok right where I am.

Good to hear from you.

NIML, how promising !!!!

Is WH transparent ? Does he try REALLY hard to make sure you know where he is all the time?

Thats the trait that is the most comfortng and best indicator of recovery commitment IME.

Good news ! Cool !

ML, are comfortable posting an updated pic to faith1's thread?

I am so happy to hear from you. I was just thinking of you the other day. I'll drop you an e-mail. Are you guys seeing an MC? I definately would suggest that.

Things are going well for me. H and I spend lots of time together and my trust for him grows more all the time. It will never be 100% again, but that is just a consequence of his actions. It's like a scar, it gets better but never goes away completely. Madison is the joy of our lives, she continues to bring us so much happiness. We are thinking about trying for number 2 next year! Work is great, I got promoted last month so I am busier then ever but have found a good balance between work and home. I have had to give up a lot of MB time!

Take care, you are in my thoughts and prayers!

I am so happy things are working out for you!! Ive wondered about you since you disappeared, Im glad your h's A finally ended. And the babys that big already?! Geez, i remember when you had her. Good luck to you and yours!

Hey MD lady,

Good to hear from you. Wow, how you learn to survive despite the odds, eh?!??!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Glad you put into practice what at one time seemed t/b the impossible. Those A's just don't last do they?!?!?

Now from this time forward, there w/b issues you will have to deal with. Those issues w/b about your healing.

Remember to let your Xws help you heal. He also has to deal with his issues but he can with your help.

In other words, u 2 help each other. Love those babies of yours and they will fill in the rest of the much needed love your family requires.

Hugz,
L.

ummmmmmmmm I think I remember you...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

actually I know I do..
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
glad to hear all about YOUR recovery...
it is always my favorite the hear and see personal RECOVERY even placed before the marriage part on a post...
it speaks volumes of the strength and healthiness of the poster.........

I am GLAD you are well

travel safely through the recovery of your marriage..and know we are here...if you need anything...

ARK

I am so glad that you took time to post and to update. It seems as if we have all come along way in a year. I feel like a second year student when I see so many newcomers here. I am glad the fog lifted and FWS returned home to work on the M. You really hung tough with the kids and the baby. I hope you will seek the advice of MC to continue your work on the M. I have found that even with MC...it is a long road back. My FWS does not do assignments and also resist SH's sage advice so the recovery is really slow. I do not love FWS, but stayed to give M a chance and allow love to be restored.....

I wish you much MB luck and I am sending support for you and your family. Thanks for updating. ss