I took mine off about 2 months ago. I have considered putting it back on to show WS that I am serious about marriage.

He made a comment last week about how I should wear my rings so men don't hit on me.

Thoughts on this??

on
off
on
off

This was a rollercoaster ride for my poor ring as well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I DEMANDED (in a not-nice-way) that my WH remove his ring ... he did .... but he put it on again the next day ... which mad me mad (I was insistant WH be placed in a lose-lose position)

TODAY I know better ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Mine is still on.

I took mine off yesterday.

WW was not wearing hers at the court hearing Tuesday.

Since you are trying to PLAN A your [censored] off

have your ring cleaned so it shines like new

then ....

[b]WEAR YOUR RING

I only took it off at home.

I still wear mine.

I used to want her to wear hers - the more I think about it the less I care if she does or doesn't.

Nowwhat74

I used to take mine off at night. I haven't had it off since all of this started

WH "lost" his back in July. I bought him a new one for our anniversary in Aug., which he rarely wore, which was a change.

Found out in one of our 2 counseling sessions that "it didn't fit right but he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings'

Oh yes,,,, having an AFFAIR hurts so much less???!!!???

I carry them around with me, but I haven't worn them.

I am a person who believes in signs. I put my ring on after 2 months for one day. The SECOND I put it on, my finger swelled and turned purple! I couldn't get it off!!! I have lost a ton of weight, so it should have come off! I took this as

1) My body was rejecting the toxic wedding ring

or

2) God made my finger swell so I couldn't get it off and I would be stuck wearing it FOREVER!!!!

I took mine off a month ago. WW has had hers off since exposure in Jan. 06. I felt like I was lying to myself.

LHL,

I to felt like that. Then one day I thought I am gonna put it on to see how I felt about wearing it. See above post about how that turned out...

however I discovered that I missed wearing it. It still meant something to me. Even if he/she isn't wearing theirs, so what?

I ended up getting into a disagreement with WS and took it off again. But after reading the responses here, I immediately put it back on my finger. So far my finger is still flesh colored...no purple yet.....

well, i took mine off and my H stole them... needless to say, i don't wear mine... yet, he didn't wear his...
so, if you're going to take them off, please please put them in a SAFE place...

My ex took his off on D-day. I wore mine for 3 and a half years, until the day our divorce was final. Then off it came.

Chrisner.....I know that hurt. I'm soooo sorry.

Holymoly....the purple finger incident....hilarious!

Pep.....you sig line is pretty funny. Also, I'm surprised I didn't pull the same stunt you did with your rings back in the day. I know it wasn't funny then, but it is to me now.

I too had lost some weight on the infidelity diet and my rings were loose. I kept putting off going to get them resized. A few weeks ago, I lost them sometime over the weekend and I have absolutely no clue where my wedding ring and band is. I am heartbroken. It was a beautiful ring. It does feel kinda weird that they're gone...sorta like a sign that old marriage is dead. I gotta tell ya though...I really want my ring back. We even bought a metal detector to try to find them, but no luck. I pray all the time about it.

I was like Pep. On, off, on, off...

I remember once sitting at a slot machine in a casino not wearing my ring when the lady sitting to next to me says, "so you're recently separated?" I was like, whhhaaa? How'd you know that? I had the "used to wear a ring there" tan line (and the permanent indentation) on my ring finger.

He "lost" his.

holymoly - I kept mine on. I was married regardless of what anyone else thought, including my wife at that time.


God bless you during this extremely difficult time.

I took mine off on D Day and never put that one on again.

A few months before the A my FWW wanted a new ring. We didn't have enough money for a big one when we got married. So we upgraded hers.

Imagine my suprise when a few months later she had an A and said our M was over anyway. LOL. Still together today.

So I decided I didn't want that ring anymore either. She asked me to put it on I refused.

The inscription was "Always and forever".

Anyway. I told her I worked my tail off to buy her a new ring she can do the same.

I now have a White gold ring with 5 diamonds.

I wear it everyday.

took mine off on D-Day and I still got that

My ring's in the top drawrer in the bath room. I can't decide what to do with it.

I'll probably end up tossing it into the sugarcane field behind the house.

Whatever I do I want to make a statement when I do it.

Thank you for your blessings. This is the first time in my life where I got down on my knees and said "OK God...what's up. Evidently we need to talk. Go ahead and I swear I will listen this time"

For the last 2 months He has been talking and I have listened all but once. The wierd thing was that one time I didn't listen I was doing something out of anger, and after I did it anyway, felt SO WRONG. It was an odd feeling.

Mine hasn't been off since I quit a job where I couldn't wear it around the machinery.

I had them tape it on during surgery this winter...twice.

Mark

Since my WH didn't wear his much due to work (or so I assumed...shame on me) I had both after Dday. I wore both for many months. Then, sometime in the winter, I took them off and placed themin a stone heart shaped jewelry box a friend had given me from Israel.

I have put them on once or twice since then, but they pretty much remain in the heart...kind of a metaphor...ya know like my plan B...all stored safely until the time comes to bring them out.

Now isn't that special!!!

I'm wearing mine of a chain around my neck...

Just as a reminder...I took it off this past Easter...

It was time!

I took mine off for a few days after D-day #1 .... I noticed that H had his off, so I thought that was what I was supposed to do. That lasted a couple of weeks, then I asked the same question here ... and decided that ***I*** am still married, even if he doesn't think he is. I've worn at least the wedding band ever since.

I used to get very upset about H not wearing his. (At the time I thought we were in recovery, turned out we'd never made it that far). I finally just very recently figured out how to let go of that, let it be about him and not me, and quit trying to figure out his motives .... I even told him that, yes, I notice it, but it's the same way I'd notice if he wasn't wearing a shirt. And very shortly after that is when he started wearing his again.

-AmI.

My WH wore his right up until the day he left. He had taken it off (actually, had taken his off quite often complaining of it digging into a callous on his finger... which really is there...but he wore it everytime he left the house)

When he left, he left it there on the end table. I brought it to him after he had been gone a few days. I asked him to pl\ease keep it with him. He agreed to.

He has not been wearing it, he says it in the drawer at work, which if that is true, he sees it everytime he opens it.

I myself will never take mine off. I am married. 100%

on

My wife took hers off only when she came home. LOL. It only lasted a week. She's worn them ever since.

I wore mine for a long time but then had to pawn it for money. I'm still paying the monthly fee hoping to get it back eventually. I would like to wear them as a symbol of being committed to our marriage. Until there is a final hearing of divorce, I am still married. Whether he is commited to our marriage or not doesn't change my committment.

Off.

WW hadn't worn hers in a couple of years, mostly wore an anniversary band I gave her. It was probably a sign of her loss of love for me and our M. She claimed the anniversary band was more comfortable. Well, a few weeks after D-day, she doesn't wear anything at all. I soon realized that our old M is truly dead, so I took mine off to symbolize that.

In my heart I'm still committed to my M and remaining true to WW. My dream is that we truly recover, and if that joyous time ever arrives, I'll buy her a new engagement ring with a huge diamond that I can afford now (we married when I was poor & 22), and we renew our vows! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Defniately a symbol of the marriage as I read the response of everyone whether that kept it on or not was whether they gave of hope.

Says A lot about me. The ring caused part of the Affair. I got a new ring on our ten year anniversary. He just handed it to me and said that he could have bought two kayaks for the same price. I was hurt it was like I am giving you what you want but i could have been happier if I had the money. Consequently, my wedding ring became destroyed a week later. I wear the thing for 10 years and nothing. Then just as my marriage begins to sour, it gets banged on a table while i was playing pool and the band warped. Symbolic at the least. It happend the day H tells me he hasn't loved me for ten years. I tried to wear it for the next year, but it hurt my finger and would cut off circulation. The new ring was loose and not a important to me by this time. H alludes to it being the start of the A.

Oh H never wears his ever- of course he wanted the platinum and gold combo and it just sits.

I wore mine until I went into Plan B. I took the ring off and put a ring that I inherited from my mother in it's place. I packed my ring up with other rings and things that WH had gotten me and placed it out in the garage with his 'things'. WH took his off when he left, and said that he 'carries it in his bag'. My response, "So, what's the point of telling me that?" His reply, "I just wanted you to know that I think about it and have it with me". Ah, his commitment is just bolling me over... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I wore it the whole time except for a month in the early days. I took it off when the divorce was final (April 2006). I sold it last month to a coin shop, to pay bills.

I felt weird about selling it. After I sold it - no sentimental regret whatsoever. zip.

far

I'm three months into it, still wearing my ring every day and night, even though my wife, possibly still WW, often doesn't when she goes out (including tonight, hence possible still WW). Ay-yay-yay what are we going to do with these wayward spouses!

Prior to D-day, we both wore our rings all the time. Right after D-day, she left the ring on the table and went out "for a walk to think". A few days later, I (stupidly) thought things could be improving and crying, gave the ring back to her and told her "please wear it, you're still my wife". She put it on without any emotion, I still remember.

The day she returned from the mom's place in March, I immediately saw that she wasn't wearing it, so I asked her "I assume you have something to tell me?".. that was when she gave me that line about wanting to "move out and reconsider the marriage". I didn't ask for the ring back, but recall her telling me gleefully one of those days before she moved out how a lady shopkeeper remarked that she was so young and pretty and was surprised when WS said she was married because the lady didn't see a ring.

Anyway, on my part, it's always with me... took it off and hung it on the gold chain around my neck for a while, then wore it on the right hand ring finger for a while, and now its back on the left hand. I'm still married even if I'm the only one that thinks so and will wear it until the day after D is finalized (if it comes to that). I find myself looking at it to remind myself of that fact when I find my eyes straying to other women of late <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I took mine off on D-day - the same night my WH took his bags, kissed his 1 year old daughter goodbye and got on the last flight of the evening to fly 10,000 miles back into the arms of OW.

Now the divorce is going to be final in a few months, I might start thinking about what to do with the diamonds...maybe something for my daughter.

Mine came off Feb 16th when I saw she had her's removed... I fear it will never go back on...

Off. I no longer have a dent on my wedding finger. My husband doesn't wear his either cos he lost loads of weight (we got that the wrong way round - supposed to be the BS that loses on the infidelity diet!)

I no longer have that dent either, kind of sad. I pawned mine and his 20 yrs ago after finding out about what I thought was firt A (that was 2nd) got back together, a few years later bought both of us wedding bands, never really knew that he was so mad that I pawned our original set that he refused to replace them, twisted huh? He bought me a big beautiful set because someone was poking fun at my band, thought I should have better after all these yrs of M. those have been off my finger and given back to him when I moved out after finding out about more A's.

My H took his off on [my] DDay and has only put it on once (at a family dinner before he told his parents). He says his ring is "cold". I took mine off on [his] DDay, but had it back on in a matter of hours. I just couldn't bear to not wear them ... I want so badly for our M to work out. Wearing them reminds me of what I'm working for. I'm hoping one day we can renew our vows and I'll buy him a new one. What I wouldn't give to see his ring back on and to hear "I love you".

When I filed for divorce, I took it off. He wore his until we were divorced. However, in my lawyer's office I saw a pornographic-style photo of my STBX having sex with some woman which had been downloaded off his hard drive by my hacker-person. In the photo, he was NOT wearing his ring. So, I suppose it would be accurate to say that he wore his ring around for all the world to see, except when he was scr*wing other women.