WhoMe:
OUCH.
Once, Skirmisher tried to fix the upstairs toilet and did such a wonderful job
Notice the ONCE?
HE never tried it again did he?
Bet you that you reminded him of his failure on a number of other occasions didn't you? How often was that story told at the dinner table with relatives, friends, others?
See?
Admiration?
This is Admiration: "You know when you tried to fix the tiolet? And the house flooded? I wanted to thank you for TRYING! We didn't have much money then, and you really tried hard, it didn't work out, And I like the new floor in the bathroom better."
Big difference. And spoken that way at the dinner table? Admiration.
My Example:
Flamingo LB'ed all over me about a month ago. All the things I neglected around the house. (It's Tax Season, I'm not home)
She made this looonngg list of the things I failed to do. One was the pool.
Flamingo: "What are you going to do about the POOL?" (One of the pumps went bad last year and the lines clogged and opening it this year was going to be a real pain.)
LG: Well, I was going too (I outlined 2 or 3 steps I was going to take.) She cut me off.
Flamingo: "sarcasm dripping" "Why don't you just call somebody!
LG: I walk away.
Flamingo, following... What's wrong with you?
LG: Thanks for calling me incompetent.
F: I never said THAT!
LG: Oh?
There was more, but that's the gist.
Flamingo has a huge domestic support need.
AND I failed completly for many years.
And I played Golf the first weekend after the end of tax season, and didn't take care of the honey-do list.
So, she kicked me about the golf, and my inability to take care of the house.
The pool?
Sparkling clean. I did it. A repairman replaced the pump, but I did everything else.
She tells me that the pool looks GREAT, and what a great job I did.
Admiration, and her Domestic Support EN is filled as well. We are working thru the list.
In regards to skirmisher? He got his @ss handed to him. Deservedly so. For that post.
I will help how ever he wants it, but it's up to him. Whatever he did? I've got him beat. Hands Down.
So. If I can get here, so can he.
But it is up to him.
LG