Totally backwards...is this normal?? - 01/27/08 12:20 AM
I am the FWW and I am the one that reads everything, gets on forums for help, suggested MC. We are almost 6 months out from d-day. My infidelity was not the usual for a woman. It was very short and just sex--I just lost my mind. My question is my H doesn't want to read any books on the subject. He says we are moving forward (which we are). He doesn't want to go back a relieve it when we have put that behind us. Occ. we have a step backwards but it seems to move us forward after the hard part. He has no one that he talks to--that worries me. He says he doesn't want to talk to anyone for a few reasons. He doesn't want anyone to know, our sit. is different than most, there is no one he really trust to talk to about it except me. He hates bringing it up to me because he knows the pain it causes me but I just let him talk and listen and not try to fix him. We have been best friends for so long. I feel more shame and quilt when he brings it up but I try not to let that show. He hasn't asked questions in a long time--I told him everything he wanted to know early on. He doesn't want to read a book or talk to someone that is was the man and not the woman. He loves me so much that he even said that if I did it again he would probably forgive me. I don't ever want to do it again--it was horrible. I love my H so very much. He thinks we should just keep going forward together the way we are and not worry about books, etc... We are moving forward and I know it will take time but I just thought that we need help or something in there. We have been in marriage counseling but after several sessions it just seemed like I needed more work than H. Sorry so long. Is this normal??? I know he hurts but most days he really says he is fine and he loves me and we will get through this it will just take time. Should I "encourage" him to read or talk to someone other than me? Please any advise will be appreciated. Thanks.