Some of you may remember my story from a few years back...false recovery.

The OM is now in the marital house, that I have not even signed over yet. Divorce is final June 15, 2008.

Married 10 years, 2 DD's 6 and 9.

Alimony-$915
CS- $1,789

I sign over the house and I keep retirement 401k in full.

I filed in December after WW went on a "shopping trip" with an "old friend'. After 2 days of not hearing from her, I called said friend and she had no idea what I was talking about.

Turned out she went to Vegas to meet up with OM.

Once the 10 year mark hit, her actions became more rash and blatant.

I stopped drinking, changed me, followed MB princliples and aloso went on ad's. I gave love and expected noting in return. I did this for 2 years....then this Vegas thing.

I had enough. She was keeping me in a constant "Puppet" mode where I was "changing" my behaviors to fit her needs.....and she never had and intentions of getting back together in the marriage.

After 2 years of hell and personal development I had enough.

I now have my own place, a new job, a new car and a new woman. Funny how things turn out. I'm now with an old High School GF from 20 years ago. We both have NO IDEA why we broke up, and things are progressing slow and steady.

I'm also Off AD's and realized I drank because of my X and her actions toward me.

Life IS good, even though someone ripped your being out manipulated it, and stomped on it.

I just want to say that not all things end badly, even when you are going through all this stuff.

Good luck everyone and stay positive!!

My D-Day story.....

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubb...in=139483&Number=1781771#Post1781771

DF:

I don't understand. Why did you sign over the house and kids 2 your xW?

-ol' 2long

I would hate to see my daughters with OM. That is nauseating. I wish you luck.

Is there a chance you can prevent this contact?

I did not sign over the kids. I have them 50% and still owe a bunch of $$.


The house is now worth less than is owed due to her borrowing against it when the market was good for things like furniature, her Lexus etc.. Last Appraisal was over 600k...it's now worth 375k (Market Condiditions) and borrowed to 480k.

She can have it. I'll take the retirement. I don't need to be attached to that asset with her any longer. I need to get out so I can purchase my own home.

Nope. The girls have accepted him fully and that hurts. They "already knew him", which tells me they met him BEFORE I FILED TOO!!

He moved 200 miles to be with WW.

It's even rougher that my oldest daughter has a BIG problem with Daddy being with another woman. (I have a GF I see 1x per week).

I COULD have him thrown out on his [censored] if I call the cops and say I want him out, but what would that serve?

That move would prompt some court action.

I'm sorry to hear this. I wish you the best.

You know, it's all VERY OK. The lies, the non-emotions, the secrecy, the untrust, the thick air, the desperation......the wondering, the unpleasant thoughts we have...

are all GONE now.

Jim you helped me out first d-day, and believe me, even when I "Thought" we were in recovery, I was not feeling good. I am now, even though there is all the extra BS...

SHE CAN't affect me like she used to.

Good job DF. I'm very happy to hear that you have done your own recovery and are not letting this control you any longer.

Good luck in your future, whatever that looks like.

Only the people on these boards know the pain and hopelessness we feel as BS's. It was a 2 year lonely journey, but at the end of the day, I made myself better in every way for the next relationship. My X has changed nothing except that she now has OM in her house instead of me.

I'm ok with this. I'm out of my personal hell.

These things either end with Reconciliation or Divorce.

My MARRIAGE and family therapist closed her door after one paricular session, (the last one) and told me "Jarrod...YOU NEED OUT OF THIS".

Each week more is revealed to me...and I have to say I am fully behind my decision to divorce. Theres more I know after the divorce than I did while married and trying to recover.

One of the biggest things that turned my wife off to me completely was when I confronted the OM. The OM backed off a few months, did not return calls and realized he was being lied to as well. This made her SOOOOO MAD and livid at me she never forgave me for it nor did she EVER express she was doing the wrong thing.

Her poor parents now must see and have court with him, knowing HE was the OM that I EXPOSED to them 2 years ago. BUT they are so in need of validation and love from their 'estranged' daughter that they are willing to never draw any boundries or limitations on her....hence it makes perfect sense she is who she is today.

Thank GOD I don't have to deal with her in that way anymore. Divorce CAN be a blessing, even though you never want it.