I have been Posting in "Just found out" for about a month now. My d-day was 9/15/00, and I discovered my H. of 17 years having an EA on line with a woman from Indiana. THey apparently made plans to meet this month. H. moved out about a week after d-day to his mother's. The OW emailed me a few times to tell me she has called for him severa times at his mother's house. H. is not home now, but once in a while he sleeps on a mattress on the floor over night. I hope that things would be better by now, but no such luck. I feel like we are in limbo. There is nothing happening, like a rut we are stuck in. how do I break this? How can I communicate with him, when every time I tell him my feelings, he tells me, don't do this to me again. I also found out he told his mother that I was one the one who had all the affairs., blah on him! So do I just go on, or what? Gn

Up to the top for this one. I know there are lots of people here who can give her advice so come out, come out wherever you are!

Hi I am pretty new at this,too. I THINK THEY ARE MORE CONCERNED OVER THERE OWN FEELING THEN OURS. I LB on my H quite a bit because he lied, does not want to talk about it, it's over H says and just move on. It was nothing Just mistake. Boy he can say that again!!!! BIG ONE!!! Hang in there. It is tough. God Bless<P>------------------<BR>Deb

Thank you for the advice. Nothing has changed since my last post. I tried to communicate with my H., but again, he yelled at me and said not to "rehash" it again and again. So I told him I needed reassurance, and he said, :I'm here ain't I? I guess that I am suppose to ignore that he and the OW ever made plans about this Christmas. I made some goodies, (fudge, homemade bread, cookies, etc.) for a co-worker who has been so supportive, and my H. assumed it was a man! I told him it was a girl who is married, but he didn't believe me, and went off on my being unfaithful. I did not drop the gift though, I went through and gave it to her today. H. yelled at me telling me how I was at fault for his EA because of all my PA. I just looked at him, and said "I'm sorry you can't really see me for who I really am." and left for work. SO now what? H. is following me to work, and it is becoming embarrassing. Help, please!