WAT,<P>I had a fairly long post almost done, and my machine crashed, so I'm starting over and I'll make it shorter (probably a stroke of luck for you
).<P>I think that the outcome of the call was essentially according to plan, and just based on the fact that she was not defensive, I'd say it went well. We know that Steve wouldn't launch into a speech about As starting, love coming back, reconciling, etc., otherwise, there wouldn't be a call #2. I'm sure he knows how to approach these calls. So, I hope that you aren't let down too much over the results. We also know that it simply wouldn't take a call to convince our WS that they should suddenly want to try again. So all in all, I'd say it is a positive thing. The fact that she agreed to call is a good sign....no way mine would do that at this point.<P>Regarding the OM on the scene to some degree, I know I've thought numerous times that something was rotten in the state of Denmark, but things always turn out to be quite fresh. However, maybe sometimes there are rough times for them, who knows. As SAA says, they may pull away a bit, but one taste of the addiction and the clock is reset to 0.<P>The other thing I wanted to say was that there is an element of crisis in my wife's situation as well, and I think that this is common. At least that is the impression I get from MB. In my wife's case, I don't think she ever dealt with her fathers death...cried once that I know of, wanted to be strong, practical, realistic. Within months of that, we had our wedding. The most important part is that she blames herself for his death, even though that is preposterous. Long story there, but a few years before he died, she had arranged a meeting that ended up with him in his own business, and he worked alot, stressed, and she thinks this was essentially the cause. However, doctors said what he had was likely from birth. I feel kind of bad telling anyone these things, because it is private for her, but I can delete it. Anyway, a couple of months before she announced her separation request, she was out one night with a co-worker after work, and he looks like her Dad. She came home and told me that she had talked to this guy, and cried. They used to talk alot, and I now think I'd qualify that friendship as an EA. She didn't want to talk to me about this stuff, from what I could tell. At the time, I just trusted her, so I let it slide. I think that entire phase set her wheels in motion. Anyway, this has nothing to do with your post, so sorry about that. But I guess my point was that I don't think your scenario is totally different from the usual case. I think there are various factors that contribute to an A, and these crisis things are one of them. I hope I make sense. Sometimes in my case, I wonder if this is one EA and now one EA/PA, and thus making us reconciling look less probable, but I don't really think so. Time will tell.<P>OK, now I've made this as long as the first one. Sorry to barge in and get on a tangent from your post. Hang in there and keep up what you are doing. I like what you said in another post yesterday, that you wouldn't abandon her. That is a good way to look at it. You can think of her as being ill...I know I do sometimes. You've been through alot, and are handling it well. The humour you use in your posts makes me laugh sometimes, despite these ridiculous situations our lives have become. You'll probably see a post from me tonight, if I get to it. Nothing earth shattering, but my WS is continuing to emit mixed signals. What else is new.<p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited December 12, 2000).]