I haven't posted since WW moved out. It's been about 1 month now. Nothing much has changed.<p>We split the time with the kids and still attend some things together as a "family". I do not know how much more I can take? I want her back so bad.<p>When she sees me, she only talks about what we need to about the kids (S-9, d-7, d-4), otherwise she doesn't talk to me. I try to talk to her. I tried calling her about a week ago to talk and she told me "I caught her off guard". Off-guard about wanting to talk to her?<p>I told her I was worried about her. She looks tired and like she is not getting enough sleep. I do not know the status of she and the OM. All I know is that she has a few more months left on her lease and all she says is that it is too soon to know anything - it has only been a month.<p>Well, it has been more than a month. <p>3/01 - told me she was not happy - loves me, but not in-love with me
3/01 - 7/01 - Plan A'd and changed my ways to no end
7/01 - D-day and forgave her immediately
2/02 - WW moved out saying she wants time and space - watching her move out and telling the kids was worse than d-day.<p>I don't know what else to do. I give her cards, letters and flowers. But nothing changes. I know I cannot control her feelings but this is pure torture. How can she continue to do this to me?<p>The only solace I have is that she has not taken it any further, giving me that little sliver of hope.<p>Any advice would be welcome. We do go for counseling, but she is quiet during those sessions too. The MC tries to get her to open up.<p>How do I get her back from the mother ship?<p>DD<p>Together 20 years
Married 12 years
3 kids (s-9, d-7, d-4)

Hmmm... Sounds like Plan B is in order--not to punish your W for being with OM, but to preserve the love you have left for her and not subjecting your self to further love bank withdrawals...<p>I would not waste money on MC if she is not going to talk, and just phone Steve Harley and try to work out a unique plan to save your M. What do you think???? [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm sorry you have been going through this for so long in front of the kids and everything. It can't be easy, but you sound like you have been very strong. Hang tough and keep fighting for your marriage! It sounds like you love your wife SO MUCH! She is very fortunate. I pray that she realizes it before it's too late!

You might want to try stopping the pursuit and look into the Last Resort Technique described in The Divorce Remedy by Michele Weiner-Davis. Zorweb recently posted a jump-start list from Michele's website:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=016195<p>I went into LRT about 3 months ago, and not only do I feel much better, but my H's behavior has changed significantly for the better.

I'll agree with BtDt. I really believe in a solid Plan B, even if its' only purpose is preservation of the love you have lef for your W. My Plan B stunk -- love DOES die, believe it or not. Astounding, to me. A person can only take so much. <p>Snow