I'm hoping I dont belong here - 06/13/07 03:21 PM
First I am not naive to things, but my husband got a new friend, a woman two weeks ago. His brother was in town and they entered a pool tournament, her and her friend played at the same table. He decided to be friends with her, call records show calls but not frequently or long. He didnt tell me about his friend.(I dont do well with over reacting, I think female friends are a threat). Her friend was after my Brother in law (also married), who was screaming when he found out what this woman was trying to do to us. She texted our phone about missing him while she was on vacation. I was in shock and at first he said he didnt know the number so I called her and she starts telling me that she didnt know he was married, saw his wedding band but thought he might be seperated, and I should ask him about who she was. He tells me about the pool game and how he was going to tell me she was a friend but didnt want me to start an arguement. I think he should hve told me, even though I would have yelled. I invite her to my home to straighten it out. She brings a letter he wrote thanking her for the bbq she invited him and my sons to (I was at work when the bbq happened). She says it is a "love" note, I read the entire thing and that isn't true at all, maybe she took the appreciation to that point but nothing clarified anything more then friends. She says if he tells her to her face to leave him alone she will. I asked her, you are facing his wife and would still chase him, you hardly know him, its been 2 weeks (they both have concurred the time frame and his brother was only here then so that I'm sure of). She likes married men I find out.. He comes outside to where we were talking and tells her he wants nothing to do with her, she took the friendship too far and to leave him alone. He has to work on things with his wife. She hugs me and says she is sorry she caused problems but she DID sleep with him on such and such day. I thanked her for her time and said goodbye, went inside. The day she says this thing happened my husband (and myself and kids) were home all day and night. So that is impossible. I called her and he picked up the other phone, she says yes we had sex, he says no and started arguing with her. She didnt say anything else but that she was done and would move on to the next married man (her and her friend seem to like the pursuit of unavailable men). I asked her why some of her stories didnt add up and she dosent have answers. I've caught lies in her story. I've seen this woman, she looks like you know what.., she made it quite clear she likes to get around. When I first asked my husband he said she wasn't his type(which is true), she is 15 years older then we are and nothing happened between them except they hung out WITH the kids and talked. I have done the tracing of calls, recorder, and gps and nothing shows that he did anything wrong.
I am still hurt.. mostly by the fact that he couldnt tell me she existed.I realize I over react about friends because THIS is what I fear, some people dont know the boundaries. What I dont understand is why she would make up these lies? And was it a start of something that I maybe caught in the bud? I know that we had some communication issues before this, and he says she was easy to talk to. Is that why? He has been trying to fix things, he apologized and was crying (never done by him in all the years I've known him). We have been using this site to rebuild our marriage and the only thing is we dont see a counselor. I dont think my husband would open up to a stranger on cue like that, I also dont want to waste the $ if we arent comfortable doing that.
He says he'd never cheat, he was hurt badly by his ex who cheated. Until now I have never had anything like this happen, he's been a good family guy. We've been married 6 years, and there hasn't been any issues except that we dont talk about things like we should. Our marriage has survived alot of hard times (death of my parents, death of our baby, etc) and I dont know if that is why we stopped talking alot
Guess I'm just looking for an outsiders opinion..
I am still hurt.. mostly by the fact that he couldnt tell me she existed.I realize I over react about friends because THIS is what I fear, some people dont know the boundaries. What I dont understand is why she would make up these lies? And was it a start of something that I maybe caught in the bud? I know that we had some communication issues before this, and he says she was easy to talk to. Is that why? He has been trying to fix things, he apologized and was crying (never done by him in all the years I've known him). We have been using this site to rebuild our marriage and the only thing is we dont see a counselor. I dont think my husband would open up to a stranger on cue like that, I also dont want to waste the $ if we arent comfortable doing that.
He says he'd never cheat, he was hurt badly by his ex who cheated. Until now I have never had anything like this happen, he's been a good family guy. We've been married 6 years, and there hasn't been any issues except that we dont talk about things like we should. Our marriage has survived alot of hard times (death of my parents, death of our baby, etc) and I dont know if that is why we stopped talking alot
Guess I'm just looking for an outsiders opinion..