My husband is involved in "emotional" affair with co-worker - what do I do? - 08/21/07 11:29 AM
How to start this message.....
We have been married for 13 years with two boys (aged 10 & 6). The marriage has had its up's and down's just like any other marriage, but we would normally get through the rough patches...until recently.
I suspect that my husband is involved in an emotional affair with one of his co-workers. Here is the reason why I am saying this....
It all started around about August/September last year when the new girl started to work at his company. It started as a friendship (my husband is a very friendly person and gets on well with other people - while I am a lot more introverted and shy and it takes sometime for me to warm up to people and don't have many friends). From there it went to concern re her wellbeing when the father of her baby committed suicide. The phonecalls started then - he started phoning her up to 10 times a day (while he saw her at work all day) - he was just concerned about her and wanted to check up on her as she was very depressed...his words not mine. I let that go as he is friendly and he does care about the people he works with.
Once that situation was sorted and she carried on with life, he still continued to call her everyday (still up to 10 times a day) at all hours of the day. However, as the stupid wife that I am I did not get too concerned about it as I trusted him.
At the beginning of this year, I started to suspect something and did voice my concern, but was told that I am being neurotic about a friendship. It was this that the secret calls started - calls were made to her before I got home in the afternoon, if calls were made from the cell phone her number was deleted.
At the beginning of June the final straw fell...it was her birthday (he bought her jewellery) when she called him at 23h00'ish on the Friday evening and they were having a conversation while I was in bed and ended the call with a "I love you too". I confronted him about this and he once again said that I was pulling the friendship and remarks out of proportion, but he would end his friendship with the girl.
After that night he constantly assured me that the friendship was over and that he loved me. However it has all started again...the reason why he is always calling her is because he can speak to her and she will listen...whilst I don't. The calls are once again made in secret and he is denying it again.
So, what do I do? Do I look the other way and keep the peace in the house, do I confront him about again and hope that this time it will change or do I move on?
Thanks
We have been married for 13 years with two boys (aged 10 & 6). The marriage has had its up's and down's just like any other marriage, but we would normally get through the rough patches...until recently.
I suspect that my husband is involved in an emotional affair with one of his co-workers. Here is the reason why I am saying this....
It all started around about August/September last year when the new girl started to work at his company. It started as a friendship (my husband is a very friendly person and gets on well with other people - while I am a lot more introverted and shy and it takes sometime for me to warm up to people and don't have many friends). From there it went to concern re her wellbeing when the father of her baby committed suicide. The phonecalls started then - he started phoning her up to 10 times a day (while he saw her at work all day) - he was just concerned about her and wanted to check up on her as she was very depressed...his words not mine. I let that go as he is friendly and he does care about the people he works with.
Once that situation was sorted and she carried on with life, he still continued to call her everyday (still up to 10 times a day) at all hours of the day. However, as the stupid wife that I am I did not get too concerned about it as I trusted him.
At the beginning of this year, I started to suspect something and did voice my concern, but was told that I am being neurotic about a friendship. It was this that the secret calls started - calls were made to her before I got home in the afternoon, if calls were made from the cell phone her number was deleted.
At the beginning of June the final straw fell...it was her birthday (he bought her jewellery) when she called him at 23h00'ish on the Friday evening and they were having a conversation while I was in bed and ended the call with a "I love you too". I confronted him about this and he once again said that I was pulling the friendship and remarks out of proportion, but he would end his friendship with the girl.
After that night he constantly assured me that the friendship was over and that he loved me. However it has all started again...the reason why he is always calling her is because he can speak to her and she will listen...whilst I don't. The calls are once again made in secret and he is denying it again.
So, what do I do? Do I look the other way and keep the peace in the house, do I confront him about again and hope that this time it will change or do I move on?
Thanks