For the last 3 week my wife is calling,her calling her,and going to bar after work. He can't drive, lost license, and picks him up, they drink dance whatever. I have confronted them 3 times at the bar, deny deny deny. I have not threatened divorce becasue of our 8 kids. I try to get her to go out woth me and just blows me off, does not want me anymore, except for support money kids, normal stuff. I don't lnow what ot do , we have been to counseling...just seemed to be snickering inside.. said she doesn't respect me, was going to go out with me at one point, then changed her mind and said she wasn't ready. I can't really go out with kids here until after 11PM when kids are out, even then I don't feel right. She started basck to work after 15 years at home, met ladies at work who like to party. She stayed after they left on night and danced with this guy, I fouind out...but again the lies I found out later were unreal. They have got a hold On each other.
Any thoughts...What can I do, thell her to break it off before it's too late, threaten divorce...I DON't KNOW!

I am sorry for you but it is pretty clear what is going on. She even told you she has no respect for you. She is leading a life as is she was a single woman. She goes to bars at night and hangs with this same man. She even picks him up and they dance and drink. She really does not care what you think.

I would suggest marriage counseling but she acts like she has no interest. I would think about contacting an attorney just to understand your options. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change.

While it not be straight MB advice, you may want to read Slick's post This is the only way you will win after you are betrayed. He brings up some very good points on how you should behave around your WW.

Hi Timr-
Sorry about your circumstances. Eight kids? Are they all yours and hers?