really really messed up everything - 12/12/06 04:08 PM
im 30, have a 4 year old daughter and a son on the way. had an affair months ago and things were over. i thought they were and with lies and trying to cover things up i messed up things even more. i thought everything would be ok. we were doing good, but then this came up and broke everything. Now i have nothing, I have my daughter and will be able to see my son. But i dont have my wife. I know and know that i betrayed her. That i turned by back on all and hurted my whole family. but i didnt mean to lose them, i didnt mean to make matters worse. It does hurt, and not being able to be part of this family hurts. it was a stupid thing i did, things that i should have admitted the truth, things i should have even not held onto anger of the arguements we got into. Im not giving up, on wanting my family, my whole family. Im tired, havent eaten, slept right or drinking much. its been 6 days already. 6 days of ****** and stupid me to have kept denying things. but i didnt want to hurt her anymore. i wanted to recover as much as i could before anything else came out.