im 30, have a 4 year old daughter and a son on the way. had an affair months ago and things were over. i thought they were and with lies and trying to cover things up i messed up things even more. i thought everything would be ok. we were doing good, but then this came up and broke everything. Now i have nothing, I have my daughter and will be able to see my son. But i dont have my wife. I know and know that i betrayed her. That i turned by back on all and hurted my whole family. but i didnt mean to lose them, i didnt mean to make matters worse. It does hurt, and not being able to be part of this family hurts. it was a stupid thing i did, things that i should have admitted the truth, things i should have even not held onto anger of the arguements we got into. Im not giving up, on wanting my family, my whole family. Im tired, havent eaten, slept right or drinking much. its been 6 days already. 6 days of ****** and stupid me to have kept denying things. but i didnt want to hurt her anymore. i wanted to recover as much as i could before anything else came out.

Read this site from top to bottom and then come back and tell us what you think your plan should be. Buy the book, Surviving an affair. Learn what you need to do from now on.

Give your wife space to grieve, she has had a double whammy.

Radical Honesty would have avoided this. Rely on Dr. Harley's principles, not your own judgment, after all, it hasn't got you too far has it?

Oh and get into Individual counseling too.



SP

well its hard for me to let her grieve and me as well. things were going so good for us and then this came up and ruined everything. It was something i was trying to put behind me. I am seeing a counselor, and when i get the real chance to read this site i will. I have been reading parts and part. but with the lack of sleep and focusing all my thoughts to trying to comfort her. Its hard for to think even what happened yesterday. She is wants to know every fine detail in which from what my couselor said that i have to make a time line and have everything ready for her. but thank for the advice and thank you for you time.