optimism - 02/05/09 03:07 AM
Highschool sweethearts- my h and i have been married 5 years but we will have been together for 15 years this year. We have a 3 year old and just started a new business. The past year has been hard on me. We have no money, insurance, and my h has been working all the time.
To make the long story short, my h and i are at the point that we feel like we have taken this marriage as far as it can go. For me the issue is handling stress. I think I have been very depressed and I have said some horrible things to my h in a fit of anger. He on the other hand questions his ability to be in the relationship and refuses to get counseling. He feels i am completely unable to change and he refuses to see the worth of reconciling. I want to work things out with him but he refuses. He continues to say he needs some space and i am not giving it to him. He basically wants to live as roomates so he can have time to think.
When we do talk he talks about all the arguments and stupid things I have done in the past; like getting mad at him for the smallest little thing or having a fight right before he went out with his buddies. I do not think he can forgive me!
I am in the process of seeing a therapist for the depression and anxiety but all he says is i want you to be happy but don't do it for us! Everytime we have a good conversation he automatically follows the conversation about how he is just not sure and wants more time to think. He does not say he loves me unless i say it and he does not want to say anything to me that he feels i might mistake for affection.
I am feeling really lonely and i do not know how to show him that i am changing and that i want to make things work.
To make the long story short, my h and i are at the point that we feel like we have taken this marriage as far as it can go. For me the issue is handling stress. I think I have been very depressed and I have said some horrible things to my h in a fit of anger. He on the other hand questions his ability to be in the relationship and refuses to get counseling. He feels i am completely unable to change and he refuses to see the worth of reconciling. I want to work things out with him but he refuses. He continues to say he needs some space and i am not giving it to him. He basically wants to live as roomates so he can have time to think.
When we do talk he talks about all the arguments and stupid things I have done in the past; like getting mad at him for the smallest little thing or having a fight right before he went out with his buddies. I do not think he can forgive me!
I am in the process of seeing a therapist for the depression and anxiety but all he says is i want you to be happy but don't do it for us! Everytime we have a good conversation he automatically follows the conversation about how he is just not sure and wants more time to think. He does not say he loves me unless i say it and he does not want to say anything to me that he feels i might mistake for affection.
I am feeling really lonely and i do not know how to show him that i am changing and that i want to make things work.