When is it ok to call it quite... biblically - 08/10/05 08:14 PM
When is it ok to call it quite... biblically
The short story is this... my wife told me last Nov that she never was supposed to marry me... that God told her not to and she disobeyed him... because of the pressure, wanting to get out of her parents house, and also that she knew that I would take care of her...
I was upset but not surprised... it actually cleared up some things... like why she had been spending so much time with the Pastors son... so I started looking and found what I would call an EA...
I had to do a little digging... like internet logs, emails, phone records, etc... but it was all there plain as day to most people... but she said that they were really close friend and that yes... she loved him as a friend and that she didn't even ever get that close to me being that she never really loved me...
Oh yes... and there is the fact that we have 3 lovely children together...
So she tells me that she has never loved me... that I violated her by snooping into her business and the personal feelings that she had been sharing with that other person... and that I had ruined her over the years by not being a good husband and being good for her self esteem like this other person had...
She now tells me that she cannot love me and will not... and that she is trying to decide what to do for the kids sake...
She has told me horrible things like"I would rather be raped every day of my life than to not live with my kids" referring to being my wife and having to have sex...
Now what am I to think about that...
She is not my wife in any way at this time other than we have a piece of paper that says we are married and we live in the same building...
She will not talk to me, she will not go to counseling with me, she will not sleep with me, she will not go out with me...
She is a total stranger...
My questions are these:
1.How long do I have to take this...
2.When does God say it is ok to move on...
3.What is best for the kids... to learn to be cold to one another and how to give mean looks and never talk to or want to do anything with Daddy... or to live in 2 separate households with less craziness...
4.How can I get away from her hurt and still not be looked at by law as an abandoning husband...(she will not leave the house)
I will stop now... but I am really looking on some help understanding when to say Enough is Enough... and that she has really abandoned me... and if it is ok for me to move on...
I am willing to gamble a little with my life... but not with the lives of my three beautiful children...
Thanks in advance for any comments!
The short story is this... my wife told me last Nov that she never was supposed to marry me... that God told her not to and she disobeyed him... because of the pressure, wanting to get out of her parents house, and also that she knew that I would take care of her...
I was upset but not surprised... it actually cleared up some things... like why she had been spending so much time with the Pastors son... so I started looking and found what I would call an EA...
I had to do a little digging... like internet logs, emails, phone records, etc... but it was all there plain as day to most people... but she said that they were really close friend and that yes... she loved him as a friend and that she didn't even ever get that close to me being that she never really loved me...
Oh yes... and there is the fact that we have 3 lovely children together...
So she tells me that she has never loved me... that I violated her by snooping into her business and the personal feelings that she had been sharing with that other person... and that I had ruined her over the years by not being a good husband and being good for her self esteem like this other person had...
She now tells me that she cannot love me and will not... and that she is trying to decide what to do for the kids sake...
She has told me horrible things like"I would rather be raped every day of my life than to not live with my kids" referring to being my wife and having to have sex...
Now what am I to think about that...
She is not my wife in any way at this time other than we have a piece of paper that says we are married and we live in the same building...
She will not talk to me, she will not go to counseling with me, she will not sleep with me, she will not go out with me...
She is a total stranger...
My questions are these:
1.How long do I have to take this...
2.When does God say it is ok to move on...
3.What is best for the kids... to learn to be cold to one another and how to give mean looks and never talk to or want to do anything with Daddy... or to live in 2 separate households with less craziness...
4.How can I get away from her hurt and still not be looked at by law as an abandoning husband...(she will not leave the house)
I will stop now... but I am really looking on some help understanding when to say Enough is Enough... and that she has really abandoned me... and if it is ok for me to move on...
I am willing to gamble a little with my life... but not with the lives of my three beautiful children...
Thanks in advance for any comments!