slow, painful and scary divorce dance - 01/12/06 03:54 PM
Hi all...
Well I"ve been here over a year. Rarely posting but trying to learn and comfort myself with all of your stories.
We've been separated for almost a year. I had an affair and I also came completely clean, revealed everything, begged for forgivness and have been met with the person my husband has always been - angry, revengeful, dark and pissed at the world.
Why I thought he could every forgive me - I don't know. He is and always has been so arrogant never willing to look at his part in things.
Anyway - here we are. We're heading toward divorce. He holds all of the power. We have a pre-nup that essentially leaves me with very little. I live in one of the most expensive city in the world (San Francisco).
The hardest part for me is going through the legal nightmare. The pre-nup stipulates he will not pay for my legal fees. The attorney I called cost $500.00 an hour! He is a physician and I work at non profit (typical) - so he again has all of the power.
I guess I'm starting this thread, because I'm tapping out my friends with my fear, crying etc. So perhaps I can lean on everyone here?
I had hoped to repair our marriage. But now that is looks that can't happen I've got to start looking out for myself. And that is where I'm afraid it will begin to get ugly. I don't want to hurt my husband. He is near retirment and I don't want "half", but I do want and think I deserve more than what is spelled out in the pre-nup.
I guess I'll suck it up and go see the attorney. Anyway thanks for "listening"...
Cis
After 16 years together our lives are so intertwined. My parents love him and look to him to support them with their ever increasing medical issues. I don't want to take that from them...so I pretent that its ok with me.
Truly both my husband and father are mysogynists (sp). I swear they have a true and deep seated dislike of women.
Well I"ve been here over a year. Rarely posting but trying to learn and comfort myself with all of your stories.
We've been separated for almost a year. I had an affair and I also came completely clean, revealed everything, begged for forgivness and have been met with the person my husband has always been - angry, revengeful, dark and pissed at the world.
Why I thought he could every forgive me - I don't know. He is and always has been so arrogant never willing to look at his part in things.
Anyway - here we are. We're heading toward divorce. He holds all of the power. We have a pre-nup that essentially leaves me with very little. I live in one of the most expensive city in the world (San Francisco).
The hardest part for me is going through the legal nightmare. The pre-nup stipulates he will not pay for my legal fees. The attorney I called cost $500.00 an hour! He is a physician and I work at non profit (typical) - so he again has all of the power.
I guess I'm starting this thread, because I'm tapping out my friends with my fear, crying etc. So perhaps I can lean on everyone here?
I had hoped to repair our marriage. But now that is looks that can't happen I've got to start looking out for myself. And that is where I'm afraid it will begin to get ugly. I don't want to hurt my husband. He is near retirment and I don't want "half", but I do want and think I deserve more than what is spelled out in the pre-nup.
I guess I'll suck it up and go see the attorney. Anyway thanks for "listening"...
Cis
After 16 years together our lives are so intertwined. My parents love him and look to him to support them with their ever increasing medical issues. I don't want to take that from them...so I pretent that its ok with me.
Truly both my husband and father are mysogynists (sp). I swear they have a true and deep seated dislike of women.