Life after Divorce - 05/25/06 12:16 AM
Ok, I was here as a discarded wife about 7 years ago. Got divorced, ex-H married the other woman. Yes, I went through some very bad times. It was very difficult. It took a lot of therapy and soul-searching, but ultimately I accepted what happened. And you know what? My life is great now, with OUT the ex-H.
I'm not here to advocate divorce; every situation is different. I guess I just would like to say that there IS life after divorce, and it can be quite beautiful. My ex is still married to the OW (I call her my wife-in-law), and she and I have actually become friendly. She is good to my kids, and I respect her. She and I have even laughed about the man we've both been married to and his goofy quirks. My ex-H and I have a good relationship and talk often about the paths our kids are taking.
Now, I know this sounds idyllic. Maybe it is, but it did not come about without a LOT of work by all three adults in this situation. I think my kids are the better for it. All I've ever wanted in this situation, once I realized it was inevitable, was that my children were the first priority. Thank goodness my ex and wife-in-law agreed.
As for my life - I'm not remarried. I'm not sure I really ever want to be married again, but I've had one serious relationship that gave me great joy. I went back to school and I am now working on my PhD. I would not have done this if I'd stayed married. I have one child in college (graduated at the top of his high school class), one child on study-abroad, and one in high school wanting to be a chef and a musician (ah, well, youth).
So, what I'm saying is this... if your marriage has ended, I'm sorry. However, your future and how you deal with it is in YOUR hands. As someone once told me post-divorce, you can be bitter or better. Which will you choose?
Blessings to you.
Lirek
I'm not here to advocate divorce; every situation is different. I guess I just would like to say that there IS life after divorce, and it can be quite beautiful. My ex is still married to the OW (I call her my wife-in-law), and she and I have actually become friendly. She is good to my kids, and I respect her. She and I have even laughed about the man we've both been married to and his goofy quirks. My ex-H and I have a good relationship and talk often about the paths our kids are taking.
Now, I know this sounds idyllic. Maybe it is, but it did not come about without a LOT of work by all three adults in this situation. I think my kids are the better for it. All I've ever wanted in this situation, once I realized it was inevitable, was that my children were the first priority. Thank goodness my ex and wife-in-law agreed.
As for my life - I'm not remarried. I'm not sure I really ever want to be married again, but I've had one serious relationship that gave me great joy. I went back to school and I am now working on my PhD. I would not have done this if I'd stayed married. I have one child in college (graduated at the top of his high school class), one child on study-abroad, and one in high school wanting to be a chef and a musician (ah, well, youth).
So, what I'm saying is this... if your marriage has ended, I'm sorry. However, your future and how you deal with it is in YOUR hands. As someone once told me post-divorce, you can be bitter or better. Which will you choose?
Blessings to you.
Lirek