THE most painful time in my life :( - 05/27/06 11:28 PM
I've posted many times on this forum to try and save my marriage. So many of you have been very gracious to me. You can read more about my situation at the following link...it is a long one, HERE IS THE LINK
Anyway, I talked with my wife last week to finalize things we want to split, etc. Mainly we worked on finances for now. The weird thing is, she still cries about actually doing the divorce. I even told her a few times, "Do you really want to do this?" And she would hesitate with a sad look, then either say yes or change the subject. I was as kind as I could be.
Even yesterday we talked for a bit on the phone, and we joked and laughed about things going on in our lives. It was a brief conversation.
Honestly, I don't think my wife realizes the reality of a true divorce. Many have said it is MUCH easier to work on a marriage than to divorce. I think she just thinks I will be around. She even said, the reason she has dragged her feet on the divorce is because she doesnt' want to lose me as a best friend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
But I did tell her, I am going to move out of this town (25 minutes away) and I will be friendly towards her, but we can't just "hang out" as friends. I told her, put herself in my situation and think how hard that would be when you are still in favor of marriage and in love with the other person. I think she understood.
Anyway, I'm feeling SO LOW right now...and so sad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> We haven't even "officially" divorced yet and I'm so down. I do feel in my gut it is really over.
The things I'm feeling right now...
*Loneliness
*Sex drive is high, and I really miss the intimacy (I think the reason it is high is because I need something to make me feel "good" right now).
*Our great friendship going to be gone
*Not only divorcing, but moving to a new town
*Anxiety, low self-esteem
*Not optimistic about future
*Sadness of cooking and eating alone
*Sadness of going to bed and waking without her
*Laughing with my wife, I miss that
God, there is no doubt this is THE most painful time in my life. I thought the 30's would be the best times in my life...married, have trips, start a family, etc. I just turned 31 and it just saddens me to the core about what I'm losing.
Thanks for listening to me. Just really down and lonely right now, and needed to vent.
Anyway, I talked with my wife last week to finalize things we want to split, etc. Mainly we worked on finances for now. The weird thing is, she still cries about actually doing the divorce. I even told her a few times, "Do you really want to do this?" And she would hesitate with a sad look, then either say yes or change the subject. I was as kind as I could be.
Even yesterday we talked for a bit on the phone, and we joked and laughed about things going on in our lives. It was a brief conversation.
Honestly, I don't think my wife realizes the reality of a true divorce. Many have said it is MUCH easier to work on a marriage than to divorce. I think she just thinks I will be around. She even said, the reason she has dragged her feet on the divorce is because she doesnt' want to lose me as a best friend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
But I did tell her, I am going to move out of this town (25 minutes away) and I will be friendly towards her, but we can't just "hang out" as friends. I told her, put herself in my situation and think how hard that would be when you are still in favor of marriage and in love with the other person. I think she understood.
Anyway, I'm feeling SO LOW right now...and so sad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> We haven't even "officially" divorced yet and I'm so down. I do feel in my gut it is really over.
The things I'm feeling right now...
*Loneliness
*Sex drive is high, and I really miss the intimacy (I think the reason it is high is because I need something to make me feel "good" right now).
*Our great friendship going to be gone
*Not only divorcing, but moving to a new town
*Anxiety, low self-esteem
*Not optimistic about future
*Sadness of cooking and eating alone
*Sadness of going to bed and waking without her
*Laughing with my wife, I miss that
God, there is no doubt this is THE most painful time in my life. I thought the 30's would be the best times in my life...married, have trips, start a family, etc. I just turned 31 and it just saddens me to the core about what I'm losing.
Thanks for listening to me. Just really down and lonely right now, and needed to vent.