3 Years Later - 01/08/09 05:22 PM
I am looking for encouragement from a long term survivor. In 2005 I found out about my husband's affair with his subordinate at work. With help from this site I followed the plans and found the support I needed to survive those dark days. As time passed I stopped logging in at marriagebuilders to help myself not be consumed by grief. Now, 3+ years later, the divorce is final, he lives with the OW, and I swallow hard each time my 12 year old daughter visits them. I finally have stretches of time where I no longer think of my former life and what happened to our family.
I feel weak in admitting that I am still bitter and resentful towards them. One minute I am walking along singing the Beatles and feeling happy when WHAM, I find out the OW held my new infant granddaughter. Is it not enough for her that she now lives the life I made with my husband, plays step-mom to my youngest daughter and changed my very character from trusting to jaded? When I receive a sexually inappropriate text message from my former husband I don't respond, but I secretly delight in knowing she is living the hell of being with a cheater.
I have taken the usual course of action, anti-depressants to get through the initial consuming grief and anger, vented during therapy and with compassionate friends. I know that feeling good about myself is the most important task and make the right choices, stay positive with the kids and resist his attempts to draw me in as the other woman. I believe the answer to overcoming is time. I just would like to hear from someone here who has come through to the other side. I want to know that there is hope for a true recovery and acceptance that the lessons learned from this, while hard, were worthwhile. I want to feel confident that a word or action from him won't have the power to bring me to tears.
LifeLivedFully
I feel weak in admitting that I am still bitter and resentful towards them. One minute I am walking along singing the Beatles and feeling happy when WHAM, I find out the OW held my new infant granddaughter. Is it not enough for her that she now lives the life I made with my husband, plays step-mom to my youngest daughter and changed my very character from trusting to jaded? When I receive a sexually inappropriate text message from my former husband I don't respond, but I secretly delight in knowing she is living the hell of being with a cheater.
I have taken the usual course of action, anti-depressants to get through the initial consuming grief and anger, vented during therapy and with compassionate friends. I know that feeling good about myself is the most important task and make the right choices, stay positive with the kids and resist his attempts to draw me in as the other woman. I believe the answer to overcoming is time. I just would like to hear from someone here who has come through to the other side. I want to know that there is hope for a true recovery and acceptance that the lessons learned from this, while hard, were worthwhile. I want to feel confident that a word or action from him won't have the power to bring me to tears.
LifeLivedFully