Asking for a little advice - 03/26/20 02:30 AM
I'll try and make this short and not a soap opera. This forum helped me in a great time of need. My divorce was final about a year and a half ago. I worked a ton of hours running my store and my wife had a 5 year + affair with the husband of family friends. Wife said I wprked too much . We went on vacations together and our kids were best friends. Long story short... I never knew the extent of the affair
.but as I have always known..it was probably much worse than I knew ( 5+). Never knew of it was physical but we decided to try and work it out (6 plus years ago). He would keep showing up..ex. His now ex wifes daughter found a phone in tue shower a year after we decided to work it out. It had my wifes cell and her work number. When I approached her, she said, " Do you think I like it when he calls me at work"? There are many more examples..and he lived down the street. Walked the dog past my house every night.
I try not to think about her...but my kids mentioned that they had to go home and let out the dog one weekend..and my friend saw someone with her. I assume its the affair partner.
My gut always told me it was very serious, even though she said there was no connection and I wouldn't ever change (working).
I am a great father, provider and I think an all around nice guy.
My questions:
1. I was doing fine..until recently when I heard what I already knew.
2. Why now ..am I constantly thinking of the two of them together.
3. Why do I keep blaming myself for all the problems in my marriage?
Thanks....
.but as I have always known..it was probably much worse than I knew ( 5+). Never knew of it was physical but we decided to try and work it out (6 plus years ago). He would keep showing up..ex. His now ex wifes daughter found a phone in tue shower a year after we decided to work it out. It had my wifes cell and her work number. When I approached her, she said, " Do you think I like it when he calls me at work"? There are many more examples..and he lived down the street. Walked the dog past my house every night.
I try not to think about her...but my kids mentioned that they had to go home and let out the dog one weekend..and my friend saw someone with her. I assume its the affair partner.
My gut always told me it was very serious, even though she said there was no connection and I wouldn't ever change (working).
I am a great father, provider and I think an all around nice guy.
My questions:
1. I was doing fine..until recently when I heard what I already knew.
2. Why now ..am I constantly thinking of the two of them together.
3. Why do I keep blaming myself for all the problems in my marriage?
Thanks....