Hi friends,<P>Thank you all for taking time to write back such great replies!!<P>Obviously, when I posted this, I had A LOT of mixed feelings. My first reaction was, this is crazy, she is trying to control him, or get into our relationship in some way, perhaps try to make me feel funny.<P>Of course, I posted this before talking to him, because sometimes, I over react to things and want to think about every situation for a while.<P>I thought long and hard, and didn't read any of these replies, then I came up with how I felt about this. Something I never did in my marriage, I always did what ex wanted me to do to keep the peace. Not that I want any problems, trust me I don't. <P>But what I came up with, was that I was very hurt. Hurt that my bf wouldn't notice that what was most important, first off, is for me to meet the kids, and us to work on getting along.<P>I do home daycare, so I'm not worried about kids in general, I'll be fine with that, but these are children that could maybe one day be a big part of my life. Sure its early to speculate that, but since I have only my current feelings to go on, and I am very happy, I want to be sure we do this the best possible way.<P>I felt like I was being put on display for her insecurities or fears. I felt like I need to meet his kids, down the road, all the kids meet and down the road further, if I run into her, then I am sure I will, but to plan it, that makes me feel like I'm taking some test.<P>Like one person said (sorry, long New Year's night), its really not going to serve that big of a purpose when it comes to the kids. <P>They broke up way before I came into the picture. He's been thru what I have. So now she is being forced to see what consequences come from her actions. Not that she should be punished, just that, this is now the life she chose, and like it or not, we all have to just deal with it.<P>Well I talked to him and he felt terrible that I was hurt. She asked him while he was busy at work and he had called to talk to his kids. He had thought it was weird and was planning on telling her it was not going to happen. SO we decided that I will meet the boys next weekend. <P>Sure I'll meet her one day. I will always be decent to her no matter what, but obviously at the moment , neither of us are comfortable with each other.<P>On the flip side, you guys will really like this. OW dropped the kids off to me yesterday. My exH was working a double, so she's had them, as usual all weekend. <P>Of course I hated her from the start because she manipulated my ex, purposely went after him, schemed to destroy what she thought was the life she wanted for herself. Although in the end, it was my ex who broke his commitment to me. <P>We sat and talked for an hour and a half. We talked about how my ex favors my middle child, my oldest doesn't like her or him. How the baby likes anyone who changes her diaper. She told me how each of the girls get along with her son and her family. She told me that the girls want to spend more time with their dad but he works such odd hours. I told her that he needed to be better with visitation AND child support. Granted its not her business, she's always in mine, so I figured, who cares.<P>She told me that she had a talk with him about taking the kids more and that she leaves on sat afternoon so he has time with the girls.<P>What I got out of that, was that its been a year, and she's tired of doing 3 baths , all the meals and taking care of my kids. She does care for them in her own way, and is always very kind to them, but I get the feeling she's had enough.<P>ANyhow, the point behind all this is, if I can get along with OW , I can get along with BF's ex down the road, should it be necessary.<P>At this point, I feel its unneccesary.<P>To Opposite shoes, , he met my kids about 2 months ago. Of course, my kids are loveable and adore him because of how happy I am when he's around and how well he treats me in front of them . Its important according to their counselor to witness that positive caring atmosphere after daddy leaving on xmas.<P>Honeywest, long time no see, how are you?<BR>Bonnet , I can't help but agree, she has a hidden agenda, and wants to satisfy her own curiousity,and nothing that magnificant will come out of it. Had my bf gave me the ultimatum, I'd have left in a second. I will NOT sacrifice my comfort and emotional health again, like I did for my ex. My bf never would have said that, but we agreed, if it went badly, that would predetermine years to come, cuz really, if it was a horrible experience, whats the odds of me liking her again?<P>Myna, thanks for writing
<BR>Jen , isn't this whole thing a whole new life and whole new learning experience, that again , we just don't know whats always right?<P>Tom - I'll keep you updated on the meeting, if anything, I can possibly share my experience for those who have to go after me in this area. Its pretty scary.<P>Thanks for the kind reply Bill. <P>I know I'll do OK, but I'm still scared!!!!!<P>Hugs , Dana<BR>