I got a phone call from my daughter - Marriage Builders® Forums

She called tonight. It was really good to hear from her, and to be able to talk to her.There were two things about the call which bothered me though . . .The first was the fact that I could hear my wife in the background telling her what to say to me.My daughter tried two different times during our conversation to get her mother to talk to me. The second time, I could her my W say "just hang up the phone D"Does that sound like my W is even remotely concerned about trying to lessen the pain being inflicted on our daughter? Does that sound like she is even remotely interested in doing things without it being a major battle? I mean really, your D turns to you and says "mommy do you want to talk to daddy", and you reply by saying "just hang up the phone". . . . .arrgghhh

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by Empty Shell:
She called tonight. It was really good to hear from her, and to be able to talk to her.There were two things about the call which bothered me though . . .The first was the fact that I could hear my wife in the background telling her what to say to me.My daughter tried two different times during our conversation to get her mother to talk to me. The second time, I could her my W say "just hang up the phone D"Does that sound like my W is even remotely concerned about trying to lessen the pain being inflicted on our daughter? Does that sound like she is even remotely interested in doing things without it being a major battle? I mean really, your D turns to you and says "mommy do you want to talk to daddy", and you reply by saying "just hang up the phone". . . . .arrgghhh<hr></blockquote>ES,It's sounds like she has you in plan B, without the letter.ANNA[ December 04, 2001: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]

I would recomend not letting your D do that anymore. She may be trying to be the go between and that isn't fair to her.... If her mother wants to talk to you, she will.. Enjoy the talk w/ the D. That's the important thing.My .02$ Just speaking from Exp.. ;-) Tex.

Maybe your w thought you were asking D if you could speak to her........I thought of this cos my son would try the same thing. I thought H was asking to speak with me. Later I would ask if Dad had asked to talk to me.....no.Just a thought.

kids just want the family back together they cant undersatand adult issues ill bet it was all her idea [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] so dont read too much into the asking / denial like it was said W prolly thought you asked [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] mebbe next time you say no honey i just wanna talk to you [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ?

Anna2000 -- <blockquote>quote:<hr>It's sounds like she has you in plan B, without the letter.<hr></blockquote>You know, using either Plan A or Plan B is one thing when a marriage is dying, but we have a child together. . .AgoodManInTexas -- You know, it actually felt kind of good that my daughter wanted my W to talk with me. She knows that if my W refuses to talk to me, then she can not see me, or her cousins, her Aunt, her grandparents . . . She is after all the one is will be scarred by all of this the most.Nina too -- <blockquote>quote:<hr>Maybe your w thought you were asking D if you could speak to her........<hr></blockquote>You know, I never even thought about asking her to try and get my W on the phone. . . Almost as soon as I answered the phone, my daughter asked me if I wanted to talk with my W. I told her that would be fine, her mom wanted to talk to me. . . Then toward the end of the call, when she asked her mom to talk to me again . . . As I said before, it actually felt kind of good. . . .and NO, I did not ask her to put my W on the phone.soulmate11 -- I think I already covered your comments above. But wanted to thank you for replying, just the same.
For everyone. . . I received an Email from my W at work yesterday telling me that she was planning on letting my daughter come for Christmas. . . I hope and pray that she really doe, and that she doesn't dash the hopes of my daughter and I again. . . .My W also told me that she thought I would try to keep my daughter from her if she "allowed" her to come up. . . . I tried telling my W that our daughter had always been and would contniue to be my number one priority. That she should be both of our priorities. . . I haven't heard a word back from her on the subject since.Today I received another Email from my W with an address where evidently they have moved. . . She claims that she does not have a phone, and also claims that she will go to her mothers house every other day to allow my daughter to check her Email. . . .I wish my W would realize what this is doing to our daughter. . . .

ES,First it's good you have made contact, she has given you the address where they will be moving, it's also good she is saying at Christmas you can see her. I hope she sticks with this. I'll bet it was great to talk to her.Regarding plan A or B, unfortunately most of us have children involved.Let me ask you this. Has your wife made any suggestions regarding what it would take to get her back home, if anything?If she has made suggestions, my next question is, What are you doing to correct this to get her back home?Take care,ANNA

Anna2000 -- <blockquote>quote:<hr>Has your wife made any suggestions regarding what it would take to get her back home, if anything?<hr></blockquote>No she hasn't. In fact she has stated more than once that the marriage is over.

To give an update. . . . I received an Email today, telling me that I could have my daughter for approximately 24 hours for Christmas.1 day with my daughter in 6 weeks. . . .