I'm not doing such a good "B" - 12/08/01 04:40 PM
I'm not doing such a good plan B. WW asked me to watch kids last night so she could go to an X-mas party.. w OM...<p>We had gone to son's Christmas concert last night..I had a good time; I'm missing the family, us..<p>She called this am to see what time kids are returning, asked if I could pick up a tree for her..<p>Now, she's hung over and I having a rough morning; I'm sad, resentful...thinking about being separate for the holidays..<p>So - a good day for a relationship talk, huh!<p>So of course I did just that...brought up things she had said in the past. She denies, says I'm twisting her words.. ( to me, I remember clearly things like, the only good thing we did was the kids, I never loved you, you never loved me..I brought up the kids comment. She says I don't feel that way, why would I say that? You always twist my words to suit your agenda..)<p>I said to me, things didn't have to be this way ( divorce)..if we had dealt w truth..true feelings, things she's saying now about how she felt then...
I said if I had known how you felt then we could've adressed it, it didn't have to be this way.
I reminded her she had said we could counsel again. She says "it's not a mathematical formula..maybe at the time I felt that way..."<p>About OM.I KNOW not to bring that up..did anyway.
She denies it's an affair, got defensive. Says I would tell you if it was..
Now, of course I know a ton of stuff about them that I didn't bring up..
I said it would help me to know that if they're in love and that's where her focus is to tell me..<p>She says it's not the case, if it was I would tell you..I've already told you about him..she says it's just that she can't work on us; that we're not recoverable to her..no "peace", she kept asking for peace; she HATES to talk about us, always has..<p>To me, before OM came into picture, this was not our relationship. She's become cold, distant, blaming.. aagghh<p>Says she's gone through this arguing for the past 10 years.. doesn't want to do it anymore...<p>No shouting, but she's accusing, blaming..I told her that she's right where I saw she was, that I've apologized repeatedly..I didn't like being blamed constantly...<p>So, she says she has papers, will be returning them next week. I said when will I be served? She says she doesn't know how these things work ( hah!), she was at meeting but didn't pay attention, she's overworked, tired...<p>
Says she thought we could "hang around today" after I set up tree. I had sent her another plan B e-mail . She says she doesn't buy the "it's too painful.."<p>What a mess. And I was a giver. I loved to give affection, and did it constantly. I participated w family things, kid care..said constant loving things..( ok , I was also no angel, had a temper issue. No shouting, cursing or throwing things,or personal attacks, but things had to be "right"...I didn't know..)<p>And here I am. <p>To me, it seems they're relationship is serious. Regardless of her denials.<p>To her, I am the cause of her misery..<p>I am not ok today. I miss my family and still love my wife.<p>She does not respond in a positive way to any repair attempts or any "us" issues..<p>Not sure what I did to cause or deserve this..<p>Dan
brwnd2@aol.com<p>BTW, she says I look great, act great, great body [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] , has said through our relationship I'm a fantastic dad..great guy..<p>[ December 08, 2001: Message edited by: Family Man ]</p>
I said if I had known how you felt then we could've adressed it, it didn't have to be this way.
I reminded her she had said we could counsel again. She says "it's not a mathematical formula..maybe at the time I felt that way..."<p>About OM.I KNOW not to bring that up..did anyway.
She denies it's an affair, got defensive. Says I would tell you if it was..
Now, of course I know a ton of stuff about them that I didn't bring up..
I said it would help me to know that if they're in love and that's where her focus is to tell me..<p>She says it's not the case, if it was I would tell you..I've already told you about him..she says it's just that she can't work on us; that we're not recoverable to her..no "peace", she kept asking for peace; she HATES to talk about us, always has..<p>To me, before OM came into picture, this was not our relationship. She's become cold, distant, blaming.. aagghh<p>Says she's gone through this arguing for the past 10 years.. doesn't want to do it anymore...<p>No shouting, but she's accusing, blaming..I told her that she's right where I saw she was, that I've apologized repeatedly..I didn't like being blamed constantly...<p>So, she says she has papers, will be returning them next week. I said when will I be served? She says she doesn't know how these things work ( hah!), she was at meeting but didn't pay attention, she's overworked, tired...<p>
Says she thought we could "hang around today" after I set up tree. I had sent her another plan B e-mail . She says she doesn't buy the "it's too painful.."<p>What a mess. And I was a giver. I loved to give affection, and did it constantly. I participated w family things, kid care..said constant loving things..( ok , I was also no angel, had a temper issue. No shouting, cursing or throwing things,or personal attacks, but things had to be "right"...I didn't know..)<p>And here I am. <p>To me, it seems they're relationship is serious. Regardless of her denials.<p>To her, I am the cause of her misery..<p>I am not ok today. I miss my family and still love my wife.<p>She does not respond in a positive way to any repair attempts or any "us" issues..<p>Not sure what I did to cause or deserve this..<p>Dan
brwnd2@aol.com<p>BTW, she says I look great, act great, great body [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] , has said through our relationship I'm a fantastic dad..great guy..<p>[ December 08, 2001: Message edited by: Family Man ]</p>