Is time important? Fog question! - 10/12/02 10:01 PM
Alot of you know my situation. Separated, we have 2 1/2 yr old daughter. I moved out (mutaual) Separated 5 weeks. Divorce papers served to me almost 3 weeks ago.
We haven't talked or seen each other since. I don't know if she'll come out of fog. I did type a nice WAW letter. Short and sweet. I go to counseling religously. We don't go to the same church now--my choice (I didnt want to make her uncomfortable. We have been married 3 years, together 7. I have been the problem. I was pushing her away. I had an EA a year and a half ago. She has known (I came clean) but she has never forgiven. She has not seen a counselor or our priest. I know she is unwilling to go to joint counseling. I am praying for some type of counseling for her and joint down the road. I have admitted my mistakes, I have taken responsibility and made no excuses. I have not been the husband I coul have/should have been. Our first 5 years together were great, but due to a child and 2 businesses we haven't been there for each other (lots of arguing and name calling) I know now what I should have done. I due admit she has tried in her ways and this drastic situation has made me want to try. I am working on myself and am feeling better. I do not have the anger anymore (good counselors are worth their weight in gold!). I just wish she could see the possibilies in hope! I know she won't go back to the way it was and neither do I. I just want that "1" chance to prove I can be that guy she once knew. Trust can be rebuilt, slowly, but surely. What can I do? Our divorce will be final at end of December. I know deep inside she still must love me!!?? I care so much about her. Do I just let it run it's course and whatever happens happens. Do I talk to mutual friends after time goes by to help and get involved? Do I have my counselor contact her in a few weeks? (we both went to her a year ago 3x, but I felt we could work on it ourselves, BIG MISTAKE) I'm just afaraid in the meantime some guy will come along and say the right things and take advantage of her and the situation, making my chances harder. What about her living expenses (already paying child support)? Do I help pay 1/2 of her rent? Or will she view this as manipulation? Or do I let her see how it will be financially on her own?
Any help is appreciated in my situation.
We haven't talked or seen each other since. I don't know if she'll come out of fog. I did type a nice WAW letter. Short and sweet. I go to counseling religously. We don't go to the same church now--my choice (I didnt want to make her uncomfortable. We have been married 3 years, together 7. I have been the problem. I was pushing her away. I had an EA a year and a half ago. She has known (I came clean) but she has never forgiven. She has not seen a counselor or our priest. I know she is unwilling to go to joint counseling. I am praying for some type of counseling for her and joint down the road. I have admitted my mistakes, I have taken responsibility and made no excuses. I have not been the husband I coul have/should have been. Our first 5 years together were great, but due to a child and 2 businesses we haven't been there for each other (lots of arguing and name calling) I know now what I should have done. I due admit she has tried in her ways and this drastic situation has made me want to try. I am working on myself and am feeling better. I do not have the anger anymore (good counselors are worth their weight in gold!). I just wish she could see the possibilies in hope! I know she won't go back to the way it was and neither do I. I just want that "1" chance to prove I can be that guy she once knew. Trust can be rebuilt, slowly, but surely. What can I do? Our divorce will be final at end of December. I know deep inside she still must love me!!?? I care so much about her. Do I just let it run it's course and whatever happens happens. Do I talk to mutual friends after time goes by to help and get involved? Do I have my counselor contact her in a few weeks? (we both went to her a year ago 3x, but I felt we could work on it ourselves, BIG MISTAKE) I'm just afaraid in the meantime some guy will come along and say the right things and take advantage of her and the situation, making my chances harder. What about her living expenses (already paying child support)? Do I help pay 1/2 of her rent? Or will she view this as manipulation? Or do I let her see how it will be financially on her own?
Any help is appreciated in my situation.