I'm emotionally broken and slowly dying inside - 11/14/02 03:52 AM
Well I'm going through the whole divorce process it seems like it's never going to end. I posted a while back on here. But just a brief summary of what has happened up to this point. My ex husband left me 2 weeks before i gave birth to our son and moved to another state without telling me, and cleaned out our entire checking/savings account and forwarded the mail he left me nothing. Well he is in another state and our son is now 16 1/2 months old. He has an attorney to handle all his work and I am unable to get legal aid and have to do everything pro bono. It's so overwhelming dealing with everything pertaining to this divorce and trying to work full time and raise our son in a dysfunctional household as well. I feel like i'm ready to have a nervous break down.
My ex has given me nothing no money what so ever until oct of this year. The attorney he hired is with a big law firm so it's really hard to fight against someone that is more experienced in the situation. I know nothing and I know everything i'm agreeing to is less than i would normally get if i had an attorney. But i just want everything to end it's to painful. The attorney said i will not get more than 500 a month that includes daycare which is 400 and split 50/50. The thing that really bothers me the most isn't the money but the way my ex husband is treating his role as a parent. He has only seen our son 3 times in his life and wasn't there for his birth. He doesn't call me to ask how he is doing and he doesn't send presents on the holidays ...I'm the one that sends the pictures. Any time i've tried to call him because it's an emergency regarding our son he will not answer the phone and if he does he tells me not to call again. My ex hasn't had any contact with our son or me since may of this year his attorney is the one telling me what his side is ect..
I can't help but to get upset and cry anytime i talk to his attorney. Because his absence in our son's life is going to affect our son one day. I know this because my father did the same thing my ex is doing and my ex's father did the same thing to him abandoned his mother and him.It's really painful for me to see fathers with their children i get tears in my eyes anytime i see a man loving his child and being there for them. I don't know how to deal with all this..IT's almost been 2 years and it seems like everything is getting more and more painful.
I'm having a difficult time being a mom to my baby because of all this pain i'm feeling.And i don't know how to change any of this i just want to give up..
My ex has given me nothing no money what so ever until oct of this year. The attorney he hired is with a big law firm so it's really hard to fight against someone that is more experienced in the situation. I know nothing and I know everything i'm agreeing to is less than i would normally get if i had an attorney. But i just want everything to end it's to painful. The attorney said i will not get more than 500 a month that includes daycare which is 400 and split 50/50. The thing that really bothers me the most isn't the money but the way my ex husband is treating his role as a parent. He has only seen our son 3 times in his life and wasn't there for his birth. He doesn't call me to ask how he is doing and he doesn't send presents on the holidays ...I'm the one that sends the pictures. Any time i've tried to call him because it's an emergency regarding our son he will not answer the phone and if he does he tells me not to call again. My ex hasn't had any contact with our son or me since may of this year his attorney is the one telling me what his side is ect..
I can't help but to get upset and cry anytime i talk to his attorney. Because his absence in our son's life is going to affect our son one day. I know this because my father did the same thing my ex is doing and my ex's father did the same thing to him abandoned his mother and him.It's really painful for me to see fathers with their children i get tears in my eyes anytime i see a man loving his child and being there for them. I don't know how to deal with all this..IT's almost been 2 years and it seems like everything is getting more and more painful.
I'm having a difficult time being a mom to my baby because of all this pain i'm feeling.And i don't know how to change any of this i just want to give up..