Hi God'sGirl,
I'm glad you found the sites and got the books. I would also recommend signing up for "Charlyne Cares" at the
www.rejoiceministries.com site. It got me through many days. A good book from that site is "The Prodigal's Perspective." It's written by the husband (Bob Steinkamp) and what was going on in his mind and heart during the time he was having an affair and divorced from his wife... and what things she did that touched him and eventually brought about their remarriage (going on many years now!). They are a very, very sweet, dear couple. They both share alot of their hearts through the email devotionals.
I am sort of a member there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> My husband remarried several months ago, so I really don't actively pursue reconciliation anymore and don't visit the site too often (usually only when I recommend it to someone and I check out some testimonies). I don't regret for a moment though that I sought reconciliation and am so thankful that I found those sites. Seeking reconciliation, despite my husband's remarriage, kept me from becoming bitter and revengeful, etc. It also helped me to heal in the right way in the right time.
I did have a prayer partner though from Restore Ministries who DID reconcile with her husband... they are now remarried to each other, and that was after his affair and a very bitter divorce. That was a blessing to witness.
There are a couple of other good books, if you can afford them. Some I'd recommend (all are Christian) are: "How to Save Your Marriage Alone" by Ed Wheat (it's a small $3.99 book), "Winning Your Husband Back Before It Is Too Late" by Gary Smalley, "The Excellent Wife," by Martha Peace (very godly woman!), "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian, "Because I Said Forever" by Heather Kopp (here's info and a sample chapter:
http://www.multnomahbooks.com/bookDetail.asp?isbn=1576738523 )
The more you fill your mind with truth and encouragement/admonishment from godly women who've "been there, done that" or from other professional Christian counselors, etc. (like Gary Smalley), the better, because in all honesty, the popular mentality in the world regarding divorce (esp. if there's been adultery!) will be that you should "move on," etc. It won't be along the lines of forgiveness, reconciliation, etc.
Erin, from Restore Ministries, has such an opposite view... viewing it as her husband's soul literally endandgered, etc. I really needed to have her (and the other couple) as "mentors" so that I could see the "bigger" picture of it all (divorce).
That's awesome that you got your books so fast! I read Erin's book a couple of times. It was like reading the Bible actually (because she uses so much Scripture). If you can afford it now, or one day, I'd also recommend the "Be Encouraged" tapes. I got mine sent to me from a lady who worked there and whose marriage had been restored, so she passed them on to me. I passed them on to another prayer partner I have (some time after my husband remarried), otherwise I'd send them to you!
God bless and be near you.
<small>[ July 11, 2004, 01:06 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>