Cmon guys I seriously need some help - 08/29/04 09:33 PM
My story
God found me in February of this year, after being married a little over 8 years I realized my failure at being a husband and that I was losing my wife.
A little history everytime my wife has worked, every job strange occurences always happened-always working late, not at work when she tells me she was, etc. etc.
Current job, current situation- I tried to make our marriage work we attended Weekend to Remeber marriage conference and signed up for a covenant marriage-meaning in case of divorce we are still legally married for 2 years. Well the effects of the conference lasted about 3 days for the wife then same ole routine. Next thing, we fight and she leaves,says shes coming back and doesnt til next day, wont answer cell, etc., she did this about 4 or 5 times. The whole time she tells me their is no one else. She leaves again, I file for seperation, change the locks and shes out. Shortly after I find out shes having an affair with a guy at her current job, she doesnt tell me I find out and call the guy-both say it is an EA even though I have a hard time believing that seeing how she was meeting him when she would leave. A month goes by with little contact, we then have the temporary custody hearing, she asks for alimony, the kids, and child support. She gets the kids every other weekend and has to pay child support, that was last Monday, we also have to each take a drug test, Im clean, so you get the idea why we took one. Monday night we talk and she crys and says she sorry. She comes over on Thursday nite(my invite) and we fight for about an hour then something wierd happens, instead of leaving she comes in and listens to what I say, we end up crashing on the couch for an hour, it was great. This weekend she has the kids, I go over Friday nite to her place and hang out, we start kissing, and I leave cause I tell her I cant stop thinking about her kissing OM. I call her Saturday nite and asked if I hurt her feelings-she says yes, I apologize and go over, we talk and hold each other and enjoy each others company and it was great, she brings the kids to church this morning, wasnt going to attend cause she knows Ive been leaning on people at church for support, I ask her to come back and call me when she gets there and I will stay with her the whole time(I dont want her hurt), everyone at church is happy to see her. Now the rest of my story.
My land and home is in my parents name, they say if I take her back we can no longer live here, I am broke and owe them money for the divorce proceedings we have gone through. My friends at work know what has happened with our marriage and 95% said they will lose respect for me if I take her back. I cant trust her yet and she has constantly lied to me, her mom has been married 5 times and is telling my wife what to do step by step. We went to a marriage counselor and she even lied to her. Everytime she left she told me she wanted out the marriage, she wanted her freedom, her rent is due this week and she doesnt have money to pay it plus she got a 500 dollar ticket for throwing a cigarette butt out her car window. She told me last nite alot of people tell you the grass is greener on the other side, but no one tells you when you get to the other side theres no grass at all.
I have been praying to God to tell me his will, of course he works on his timetable not ours.
So what do I do? The drug test results should be in tommorrow, if we get back together which we have 23 months before the divorce will be final, I will lose everything I have for her. Most importantly I could lose my 2 sons which I won at the custody hearing. I dont think I can believe or trust her but Ive never seen her treat me as good as she is treating me now, we have never ever talked like we are talking now, except for the statement I made the other nite about her kissing the OM and leaving and the fight we had Thursday nite, we are getting along better than we ever had. Also she says she is lonely in her house alone, so she is staying at her sisters house where her sisters boyfriends relatives live with them(men). I really need some help here guys, like I said Im waiting on an answer from the man upstairs, but I need some encouragement, some realization, something, from yall. Do I keep working for my marriage or just lay back?
<small>[ August 29, 2004, 04:35 PM: Message edited by: Joey791 ]</small>
God found me in February of this year, after being married a little over 8 years I realized my failure at being a husband and that I was losing my wife.
A little history everytime my wife has worked, every job strange occurences always happened-always working late, not at work when she tells me she was, etc. etc.
Current job, current situation- I tried to make our marriage work we attended Weekend to Remeber marriage conference and signed up for a covenant marriage-meaning in case of divorce we are still legally married for 2 years. Well the effects of the conference lasted about 3 days for the wife then same ole routine. Next thing, we fight and she leaves,says shes coming back and doesnt til next day, wont answer cell, etc., she did this about 4 or 5 times. The whole time she tells me their is no one else. She leaves again, I file for seperation, change the locks and shes out. Shortly after I find out shes having an affair with a guy at her current job, she doesnt tell me I find out and call the guy-both say it is an EA even though I have a hard time believing that seeing how she was meeting him when she would leave. A month goes by with little contact, we then have the temporary custody hearing, she asks for alimony, the kids, and child support. She gets the kids every other weekend and has to pay child support, that was last Monday, we also have to each take a drug test, Im clean, so you get the idea why we took one. Monday night we talk and she crys and says she sorry. She comes over on Thursday nite(my invite) and we fight for about an hour then something wierd happens, instead of leaving she comes in and listens to what I say, we end up crashing on the couch for an hour, it was great. This weekend she has the kids, I go over Friday nite to her place and hang out, we start kissing, and I leave cause I tell her I cant stop thinking about her kissing OM. I call her Saturday nite and asked if I hurt her feelings-she says yes, I apologize and go over, we talk and hold each other and enjoy each others company and it was great, she brings the kids to church this morning, wasnt going to attend cause she knows Ive been leaning on people at church for support, I ask her to come back and call me when she gets there and I will stay with her the whole time(I dont want her hurt), everyone at church is happy to see her. Now the rest of my story.
My land and home is in my parents name, they say if I take her back we can no longer live here, I am broke and owe them money for the divorce proceedings we have gone through. My friends at work know what has happened with our marriage and 95% said they will lose respect for me if I take her back. I cant trust her yet and she has constantly lied to me, her mom has been married 5 times and is telling my wife what to do step by step. We went to a marriage counselor and she even lied to her. Everytime she left she told me she wanted out the marriage, she wanted her freedom, her rent is due this week and she doesnt have money to pay it plus she got a 500 dollar ticket for throwing a cigarette butt out her car window. She told me last nite alot of people tell you the grass is greener on the other side, but no one tells you when you get to the other side theres no grass at all.
I have been praying to God to tell me his will, of course he works on his timetable not ours.
So what do I do? The drug test results should be in tommorrow, if we get back together which we have 23 months before the divorce will be final, I will lose everything I have for her. Most importantly I could lose my 2 sons which I won at the custody hearing. I dont think I can believe or trust her but Ive never seen her treat me as good as she is treating me now, we have never ever talked like we are talking now, except for the statement I made the other nite about her kissing the OM and leaving and the fight we had Thursday nite, we are getting along better than we ever had. Also she says she is lonely in her house alone, so she is staying at her sisters house where her sisters boyfriends relatives live with them(men). I really need some help here guys, like I said Im waiting on an answer from the man upstairs, but I need some encouragement, some realization, something, from yall. Do I keep working for my marriage or just lay back?
<small>[ August 29, 2004, 04:35 PM: Message edited by: Joey791 ]</small>