How do I stop thinking about H & OW? - 10/23/04 03:55 PM
I know I need to focus on me. I know I need to let go. I know I need to keep busy, be with friends, take care of myself.
After 14 years of marriage and 2 beautiful kids, H has left me for OW - they live about a mile away in their new place. I can't seem to stop picturing them together, making love, going out on the town, having dinner and a video at home, going to sleep and waking up next to each other..all the stuff we were doing until just a few weeks ago. She is living my life, has replaced me.
We bought our dream cabin in the mountains 8 months ago, spent alot of time and love fixing it up and making it cozy. H took her up there for the first time last night. Ouch.
I also can't seem to stop analyzing their relationship, why it happened, what stage they are in right now, why it might fail, why it might last. Its hard for me to know if this is because I still want him back, or if I know I could never take him back, but just want to see them fail. I guess its a self esteem issue when you get dumped for someone else.
I know its only been a couple of weeks since they moved in together, and I am barely used to living without him. Wish things would have been more negative between us before he left, then I wouldn't miss him so much! I am trying to focus on other stuff, but my mind seems to drift back to them every 15 minutes or so, whether I like it or not. H thinks he has found his destiny, his soul mate, and of course, I picture them in their blissful honeymoon stage which I am sure does not compare to the nice, comfortable, familiar life we have been living the last 14 years with our great kids. H is now living without a family with his dream woman, younger, hotter, sexier, funny, intelligent, more athelitic, in his mind, a much better match for me. I don't think I will be able to stop thinking about them and/or stop hurting until I find someone else to take his place, and I haven't a clue even where to begin even a search for male friends, even platonic ones.
Picturing them up in our cozy cabin right this minute, snuggly and/or having sex in our bed, with the tall pines out the bedroom window, a nice little fire going to keep them warm.
Am I torturing myself or what??!!! How do I stop?
<small>[ October 23, 2004, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: Everhopeful ]</small>
After 14 years of marriage and 2 beautiful kids, H has left me for OW - they live about a mile away in their new place. I can't seem to stop picturing them together, making love, going out on the town, having dinner and a video at home, going to sleep and waking up next to each other..all the stuff we were doing until just a few weeks ago. She is living my life, has replaced me.
We bought our dream cabin in the mountains 8 months ago, spent alot of time and love fixing it up and making it cozy. H took her up there for the first time last night. Ouch.
I also can't seem to stop analyzing their relationship, why it happened, what stage they are in right now, why it might fail, why it might last. Its hard for me to know if this is because I still want him back, or if I know I could never take him back, but just want to see them fail. I guess its a self esteem issue when you get dumped for someone else.
I know its only been a couple of weeks since they moved in together, and I am barely used to living without him. Wish things would have been more negative between us before he left, then I wouldn't miss him so much! I am trying to focus on other stuff, but my mind seems to drift back to them every 15 minutes or so, whether I like it or not. H thinks he has found his destiny, his soul mate, and of course, I picture them in their blissful honeymoon stage which I am sure does not compare to the nice, comfortable, familiar life we have been living the last 14 years with our great kids. H is now living without a family with his dream woman, younger, hotter, sexier, funny, intelligent, more athelitic, in his mind, a much better match for me. I don't think I will be able to stop thinking about them and/or stop hurting until I find someone else to take his place, and I haven't a clue even where to begin even a search for male friends, even platonic ones.
Picturing them up in our cozy cabin right this minute, snuggly and/or having sex in our bed, with the tall pines out the bedroom window, a nice little fire going to keep them warm.
Am I torturing myself or what??!!! How do I stop?
<small>[ October 23, 2004, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: Everhopeful ]</small>