How many of y'all have cops for husbands? - Marriage Builders® Forums

I just read Luv's post about what her H does for a living. My H has been in law enforcement for over 17 years.
I am just curious if this is more common among law enforcement than other occupations.
ent

I could ask my brothers in law, but I think they wouldn't know what we were talking about.

One is a city cop, the other is FBI. Both disgustingly faithful as far as I know.

Go Fish.

Hi,

My husband is not a cop but his Father is a retired detective. His Dad cheated on his Mom and Step Mom bad. Seems son is following in Father's footsteps.

My H is a cop and we did not start having problems until he became one almost 5 years ago - go figure!!

My h is a cop and it is RAMPANT on nearly all forces.

Nio is right. The amount of infidelity among police is amazing. I am not sure how it compares with other occupations since I have only dealt with this one. Everytime I turn around my H was telling me about someone else.

I would imagine that pilots, doctors, salesman all have a high rate.

Then again, infidelity hits what percentage of marriages? I think it's like 65% or something so there HAS to be a lot of other professions in that mix.

My H is a cop. His Mom is a cop - Stepdad was a cop. StepD cheated A LOT on his mom.

He spent the 1st 14 years of his career swearing he'd never cheat, and how disgusted he was with the guys he worked with that did...

til last year when he joined the ranks of cop-cheaters.

One of the only public places he took SOW to was the local FOP club where EVERY ONE takes their "GFs" b/c no one would ever tell the wives.

Disgusting...where IS that puking icon???????

My H is not a cop, he's a doctor and the Infidelity rate is HIGH in the medical field! Nurses go into nursing so they can "catch a doc" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> married or not

[ September 15, 2004, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: momto3boys ]

Not to keep harping on the same subject I seem to have been lately, but cops also fall into the highest percentage by career of domestic abusers and alcoholics....

Also depression/suicide rate among cops and docs is WAY high.

Orignally posted by Fraggles <blockquote>quote:<hr /> He spent the 1st 14 years of his career swearing he'd never cheat, and how disgusted he was with the guys he worked with that did...til last year when he joined the ranks of cop-cheaters. <hr /></blockquote>Very interesting. My H did the same thing. He said how foolish these older guys were throwing themselves over these young recruits. How it disgusted him. He was disguest by his fathers's A. Said he would never do it. He was on the force about 11 years before he joined those ranks. He never took her to the FOP but I know they were around other COPS, mostly her friends. At the time he worked at the training academy and I know that everyone there knew what he was up to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

momt3boys. I would imagine that docs would have a high rate. That was one of my gueses.

meNtheboyz, not sure about the domestic violence/alcholism but the suicide his high, as Nio said. I know there are problems with DV and they are continually being addressed as they come out. It is something that they are always being trained on both for internal and external cases. I am not sure if the numbers are out of the genral norm for society or if it's just more alarming because of the weapon issues and their role in the community. None the less, it does exist.

All I can say is that I know a few cops and they have cheated or been married several times.

As for the nurses comment--don't know--but kinda offended because I have often thought about going back to school and using my remaining scholarship to become a nurse and I guess that thought neve crossed my mind or was a factor when considering becoming a nurse but then again I have never had OW mentality.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Nurses go into nursing so they can "catch a doc" married or not

<hr /></blockquote>I know you were hurt by a nurse, but M23B, you may want to paint with a wee bit skinnier brush. I have friends, and relatives who are nurses, and a D who wishes to be one. All of their reasons for going into nursing were/are noble ones. I know there are some nurses, in which you describe, but certainly not all.

[ September 15, 2004, 01:17 PM: Message edited by: autumnday ]

AD,

I think the nurse thing is the same as the cop thing. It just happens to be a profession with a high infidelity rate (both docs and nurses). I think that many nurses do try to hook up with a doc. But I am sure that most of them did not go into the profession for just that reason.

Remember it take two to tango so the docs are as much to blame as the nurses. Again, it's just like cops. There are many good men that are cops and go into the profession for upstanding reasons but then there are a lot that do not.

AD, I would not get too upset with M23B, she was just stating what she believes like everyone else here. I even said that docs and pilots are professions at risk but I don't mean that they are all like that.

Luv~

I am aware of the thought that there are professions that have higher rates of infidelity than others. It's probably true too--have never seen the specific stats. though.

Also, I appreciate hearing all the different opinions. What I don't like is when an opinion is stated as a fact. The statement wasn't prefaced with some or even most .

Law enforcement has the highest divorce rate, infidelity, and suicide risks. Seen waaay too many of those manuals from H's schools.
Sometimes, I think LE's are actually proud of the statistics.
I remember he went to a "morals class". It was to talk to the "guys" about being a good husband and father while also serving the public good. What a load of crap! He started quoting Luke 12 and saying that is how he is living his life. Uhhhhh....nooo! Not even close.
But at least he is not in uniform any more. I think those are the worst. All of the cop groupies..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
I'm done.......(enhance calm.....)\
ent

I think Moms comment came from something I said to her.

I too went into Nursing for noble type reasons.
While in nursing school alot of the girls fessed up that they were there to "snag" a doctor.

Now this is obviously not Married students.
I worked as an RN for alot of years. I never expirenced seeing a married RN going after a doctor, BUT I did witness single nurses plotting and going after Docs. Most were single doctors, BUT there were those who just didn't care. This could be from "work" enviorment and not profession, but I just dont think so.

Physicians do have a very high rate of infidelity
I as a married RN had alot of other Married Doctors "hit" on me.

Mom's OW plotted her affair with Dad for over a year before dad gave into it. I have seen this occur. The doctor was single, but the nurse talked about it constantly. She had it plotted how she would get him to go out with her. It took a long time. They dated a few times and she got pregnant. He still did not marry her, but he did pay child support.

There is a reason that so many soap opera's have hospital story lines. There is no glamour in Medicine, just drama.

I came across this topic while checking up on M23B. I usually post on EN's. But my dh is a po also. He has had one EA. My Dad was an officer for 23 years with 3 PA's that I know of. My degree is in Criminal Justice, but I have stayed far away from the LEO side of it.

Officers, doctors, all of those listed have a very high rate of Infidelity. A lot of it has to do with how much time they spend with the OP. The adrenaline shared in the work environments they incur everyday, tends to draw them together.

Military is another one.

I had a thought this morning as I was trying to wake up. Cops, Docs, and military are all jobs that one gets to or has to keep secrets. This dosn't mean tell lies really, but they get to practice keeping information from others with a straight face. Even others that they are friends with... or more involved.

As a painter, you can ask me anything about my job, or what I did for another client. Even ask me if the color you picked for your living room is ok... I won't lie. (only ask that last one if you're ok with criticism)

Anyway, that was my thought...

Very interesting view of it Painter!

On another note, how are you and Robel doing? Hope all is well, and continues to be well!

Again, you are both still in my thoughts!

Tigger

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Military is another one.
<hr /></blockquote>I guess I'm really screwed on this one, dh was an MP in the Army when we got married, now he is out of the Army, but still an officer. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I had a thought this morning as I was trying to wake up. Cops, Docs, and military are all jobs that one gets to or has to keep secrets. This dosn't mean tell lies really, but they get to practice keeping information from others with a straight face. Even others that they are friends with... or more involved. <hr /></blockquote>This is true. Another thing is it is harder for them to be held accountable. Not sure if accountable is the right word. A lot easier for them to "disappear" and have a good reason for it, and really no way for us to verify. Oh, sorry hun got a long call, couldn't check in, you know I can't answer my phone while I'm on a call. Sorry hun, had an emergency surgery, couldn't get to a phone.

I'm not sure about Dr. wives, but I know as an officers wife, it's not very good to have your wife calling the station all the time etc..

In fact, I remember one night dh was supposed to be home at like midnight. I woke up at 3am he wasn't home. I called his cell couldn't get ahold of him. I was scared to call the station. Fell back asleep, around 430 I woke up he still wasn't home. I finally called the station. He was there, had a late case, but he never bothered to called. I was not a very happy camper to say the least. When we talked to my Dad about it, my dad said "oh your're one of those wives.!!"

In July dh was away for training for 5 weeks. We agreed before he left no bars, especially no strip clubs etc. Well he went to a bar, when he was around other he was very short etc. I was again talking to my Dad about it, he said that going out like htat is what "the guys" do. Go out for a drink after work etc. I said he is married, he doesn't need to go out like that especially with his past of an EA etc. Again, my Dad said I need to quit being "one of those wives". The whole time I"m thinking yeah advice coming from a man married and divorced 3x lol..

I am currently attending Nursing school and would never "go after a married man" never even thought about going into the Nursing profession for that reason.

My H is a Network Admin. and from what I have heard there is a high infidelity rate among IT prof.

Just to add my 2 cents, by xh (the cheater) was military, and wanted to be a cop when he got out. lol, go figure. He didnt, instead he became manager of a Taco Cabana (24 place) and met ow#2 at an IHOP next door. So who knows. I think it is just a matter of not protecting yourself against affairs (unless you are my x and I think he went looking for them.

My H now is a PA (physician assistant) and we have often talked about how people get involved in affairs and the things we have to do to "affair proof" our marriage. I think the first thing to realize is that no one is immune to it. It can happen to anyone. We are both strong christians, but know it happens to the best of them. The point is to be aware of the people around you and how much time you spend with them. If work is taking away from the family it is time to find another job. The place he works at now takes walk-ins until 5 so he doesnt get out until 6-7 every night and it kinda takes away from our family time so he is starting to job hunt a bit.

Anyways.....just my little 2 cents on this subject.

God Bless.....

bw