AS a new poster on MB I wanted to start a thread for you so you can get the advice and support you need. I'm afraid your questions posted on other threads may get overlooked.

First, welcome to Marriage Builders. I'm sorry for your need to be here but you have found an excellent place for advice, suggestions, compassion and support. Please read the General Welcome for New Builders link to help you understand this site and the information you'll be receiving. Also check out the Welcome to the Pregnancy/Child Forum link for general basic information on this forum.

On your previous post you said ----

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My H is on the fence. He says he loves me but has a connection with her. She and her husband were our best friends and business partners.
She is pg with twins. I have asked for NC. They still talk supposedly about business to end that. They are involved in every aspect of our lives and NC is impossible unless we move, which has severe complications as well. I don't want a divorce, but without his emotional support for me I don't think I can hang on. I hate this for my 3 children, but will they be happier if I am? Any suggestions? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A few questions for you......

How long have you been married?
How long was the affair and has your H ended it? Does her H know?
Why is she assuming these babies are YOUR H's and not her H?

Crews, please know you are not alone. Unfortunately there are many women and men here going through the same pain and difficult decisions. Weekends are slow so don't be discouraged if you don't have alot of replies. Keep posting. Let us try to help ......

I have been married for 14 years in March. I have 3 children. We have been best friends, business partners, basically did everything with this couple and their children. All involved know everything. Her husband has had a vasectomy. The town, church, all our friends are starting to ask questions and rumors are everywhere. If I knew he loved me and wanted me more than anything, this wouldn't be so hard, but he still says he misses her and doesn't know if the feelings for me will ever come back. I am a very emotional person who needs lots of affection, he is not. He shows very little emotion and none towards me now. We are in counseling. I have a lot of anger about the whole thing. I have been begging and complaining about this relationship for 2 years. Always told I was over reacting and blown off by all three of them. My "over reaction" to things have been blamed for the affair having started. They say that if he could come to me and tell me anything with out the fear of me getting upset or over reacting then he would not have gone to her. I hope some of this back ground helps. I would love to hear some comments or suggestions from anyone. I just really don't know how long I am supposed to hang on. What kind of time frame does it take for him to get over her and begin to love me?

Crews, Welcome to MB. Sorry for the reason you are here. Your question about when your H will begin to love you again is a good one. Until NC is established it will be very difficult for your H to let go of his attachment to OW. Please read through Harley's concepts on the site. Have you read Surviving an Affair? Keep asking questions.

Crews,

Do not let them blame this on you. If he felt like he couldn't talk to you he should have gone to counseling not have an affair. Where's her H at? How does he feel about this? And like someone else said I would start to talk to an attorney to take steps to protect you and your three children assets. H is in a fog and still emotionally involved with his women. Does she plan to stay married to her H? Will her H accept the twins as his own children? I'm sorry you are going through this you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Unsure

I know my need for affection is not wrong, but that is what they say caused the affair. I am getting a little tired of hearing that. Problem is I am still needy for affection. i still want to feel loved and to be the most important person in my H life. I don't know if he wants to or can do that. Still very confused feelings. Don't know if I am supposed to stay and wait for him to fall in love with me again or if I need to cut my losses and move on. Whatever i do there will be bad consequences. I don't know if I just want to settle for what he is willing to offer. I think I may need more than just a roommate to be my H. Any advice would be appreciated.