Did you get the kids? How about an update.

No word from the judge yet. It could take up to 3 months. For reference, on the DE courts website, they have all of the decisions that the state Supreme Court has made (all family court appeals go to the supreme court). Anyways, there was a case where the facts / situation were similar to ours. In the original family court case, the trial was 12/22/08 - the judge issued the decision on 4/1/09. So, maybe I'll know something by thanksgiving.

PSU, your situation is one of the reasons I keep coming back. I'm really rooting for you.

Thank you Tabby! I missed the MB boards - I've hanging on the SI site over the last few weeks and it is a lot less constructive over there. There are a lot of good folks over here.

Not much drama has been going on - any drama hasn't really involved me. I got a call from exMIL the other night. She is an absolute wreak over what exWW has been doing to herself. It's just another exhibit in the radioactive fallout from an affair. Evidently, POSOM took exWW's grandmother to the doctor's a few weeks ago. POSOM and exWW then got really mad at grandma for not telling exMIL what a great guy POSOM was for taking her to the doctor. Turns out, grandma gave him $30 for his trouble because he gave her a guilt trip about how exWW does not have any money because of big, bad PSUBIKER.

Me, things have been very quiet. I almost feel like I don't know what to do with myself since there aren't any pending court dates or anything. It's given me time to reflect on how much of a sh$#@!# hand exWW dealt to the kids because of her actions. Her situation really weighs heavily on me. While I should have no concern, it still affects me because I am double paying most of the kid's expenses.

DD4 is doing very well with her speech. Her behavior has improved because she is a lot less frustrated now that she can express herself. DS7 has gotten some trouble at school - mostly talking when not supposed to. I think the current living situation is really starting to grate on him. The kids spend 2 days with exWW at her friends house, 2 days with me, and then swap weekends with the two of us. THe kids have no stability right now and are getting bounced all over the place like pinballs. If the judge rules in my favor, moving around part will take care of itself.

Divorce sux no matter how you look at it. Your kids sound very normal to me. Heck, if my DS ever came home with a report card that DIDN'T say he talked too much in class, I would have been worried! Hopefully the judge rules soon so their lives can settle down a bit. The thing is PSU, it can't go on like this forever. It just can't. Your exWW can't survive this way indefinitely. Unfortunately it can take a really long time.

psubiker

Whether going through a divorce or anything else in life, the waiting for someone in control of your fate stinks. You see the end but can't move towards it.

I guess I missed something. Did you appeal the Court's decision? I thought you were waiting on a final ruling. You know, it wouldn't hurt to call the court clerk and ask if there has been a ruling yet. Sometimes those things just lay on a clerk's desk until they decide to get around to giving it to the judge, or if there has been a ruling, to get notice out. They are in NO hurry.

Meggy,

We haven't heard a decision yet so we are not at the appeal stage. Unless something really screwy happens with the decision, I don't see me appealing due to the cost involved. From my research, it takes an act of god to get a family court custody decision overturned in my state on appeal.

I had a good weekend. For some reason, exWW and I are getting along fairly well right now in terms of kid logistics. She had an interview on Friday and was called into work on Saturday so she called me on Thurs. and asked me to take the kids on those days.

So, I had a fun Saturday with the kids despite the rain. We went to a community Halloween Party, we watched the Penn State - Michigan game at Buffalo Wild Wings and had a GREAT time. DD 4 kept asking when I was going to take her to a game!

After that, we went swimming at the Y and then it was bed time. Late Saturday night I got a call from exMIL. Evidently POSOM was doing everything in his power to get exWW to cancel DS7's B-Day party and alienate her from her family. Ever sine exWW went to dinner with me and she went to her niece's b-day party at her mother's, POSOM has been on the warpath. In my conversation with exMIL, there will be no peace until POSOM moves on. He thrives on conflict and the only way he can keep exWW with him is to create conflict whether with me or members of her family.

On Sunday, we were supposed to swap the kids at 9am. ExWW was running very late so she ended up picking the kids up at 11:45. On her way up, I heard POSOM in the background in the car with her so I smelled a set up. We were supposed to meet at the local Burger King. Next to the Burger King is an Applied Bank and Internet Cafe that was open yesterday morning. So, I had exWW come into the bank branch to get the kids. That way everything was on video. Good thing too - POSOM was standing guard over exWW's car and was itching to start something. ExWW was clearly agitated that I wouldn't engage her. Oh well.

Thanks for the update PSU. Regarding this:
I don't know for sure if all waywards are like this, or if there are a subset of especially dangerous waywards with this thirst for conflict. The OW in my sitch fits this bill as well. Their affair is now over 3 years strong, living together 2 1/2 years. Constant battles alternating between me and OWH have kept it alive and well. When I withdrew into my modified Plan B, OW continued to wage war with OWH. It ended with her being charged with assault for running him over with her truck. He now has a restraining order against her and a court appointed IM. Before the "happy" couple had a chance to panic, I filed a suit against WXH in small claims court. Things were probably looking up for them, but as it turned out, the small claims process has smoothed over my communications with WXH and our rare meetings now are almost pleasant. So what did OW do? She is now taking OWH back to court claiming his assault charges (laid by police, not him, and included extra counts for when she hit him in the face with a candlestick and one other incident he'd recorded) were frivilous and merely a way to get back at her. She's goign for full control of visitations (read - he doesn't get any). It's stirred the bees nest again and now that it's back to them against the world, all's well in the love nest.

Dangerous, I tell you. I don't even want to think about that young girl's life which must be beyond hell. I'm just happy to be removed from it.

I think waywards do this to keep the flames burning. If there are no enemies, they will turn on each other. What's so freaky about exWW is when she is away for POSOM, she is a very different person. Heck, to this day she still says that I set POSOM when he was arrested for crimminal tresspassing. Like it was my fault that POSOM got in the car and drove to his father's place even though his father had a restraining against him.

As for the OW in your situation getting full visitation, good luck with that one. With the restraining order, the domestic violence custody factor is automatically in OWH's favor. So, OW would have to win at least one more custody factor over her exH to overturn custody. If she pleads guilty to the assault charges or is found guilty, she can pretty much kiss primary residency away due to the seriousness of the charges.


I also had a brief conversation with Sharpie last week. Turns out, he was hit pretty hard with a virus and had to spend a few days in the hospital. He's doing fine now but is understndably very tired from the events from the last few months. I told him folks were thinking about him and pop in sometime. Hopefully we'll hear from him soon.

**edit**

IMO, you're really lucky your exIL's understand this. You can have a united front that way that just may get rid of him.

Maybe on one of her calmer days, you might just mention this, in passing. Not about HER, of course, but about affairs in general. Get the wheels turning.

Here are some updates. I took the kids to the exMIL's for Halloween. We had a great time. Then, this past Sunday, I got a call from exWW and she was on the warpath because I took the kids to her mother's and she did not know about it.

Evidently, she is threatening to file a restraining order against her mother from seeing the kids because of alienation. She also threatened to call Child Protective Services on me as well. I told her to go ahead, make my day!

Yesterday we had a call to calendar with the judge to schedule the alimony hearing and other ancillary matters. THe judge asked what is outstanding and I told him alimony but it should be dismissed because exWW has been cohabitating since August, 2008. The judge asked exWW if she has been cohabitating - she said no and PSUBIKER is lying again!!!

I almost swallowed my tongue when she said this. This whole conversation was on the record and was recorded!

Trial date for alimony is set for 2/5/10. I have a lot of work to do to prove my exWW is living with the POSOM. I was a busy beaver yesterday - I filed three contempt charges against her.

1. Failure to pay her share of the kid's medical expenses as per the support order
2. Failure to pay her half of the daycare expenses as per the support order
3. Failure to pay my attorney fees for the false protection order she filed against me

My original plan was to just roll what she owes me into the assets settlement. But, I had a change of heart after I realized the time and frustration I'll be enduring to prove that she has POSOM living with her. I'm in pretty good shape with getting proof - with POSOM's arrest and guilty plea a few months ago there should be evidence there as well as what I am asking for in discovery. I'm also going to be on the hook for the transcript of one of the protection order hearings when he testified that he was her boyfriend and living with her.

IS she getting any mail at the same place he is? Those things are easy to establish cohab. Also, is it possible that one of them is paying the cable bill and another is paying the water bill for the same address? again, that's co-hab. Your situation totally SUX.
And add to that Penn State's abysmal performance this weekend, and I'd be in a bad mood, too!

What will they do with her if she is found guilty on these charges?

Does she still get to you with her tactics - or are you getting hardened to her?

And thanks for you regular update PSU!

Cohabitation IS easy to prove. As others have said, utility billing, witnesses who have been to their "home", heck if your kids are old enough, THEY might be able to tell the judge that mommy lives with POSOM. They're both idiots for thinking they can win this one.

Good for you on the contempt charges. Hope the Judge follows through.

Her tactics are just irritating as all get out. I'm anticipating another season of false accusations, grandstanding, etc. I sent her a request for documents today that has about 35 different items. She and POSOM are going to FLIP when they get it. I do have some pretty compelling evidence so far:
1. Vet bill addressed to POSOM sent to our house AFTER the separation date.
2. Bank statement from our business account showing above vet bill was paid from our business account
3. Sworn testimony from POSOM in 11/08 saying he was her boyfriend and living with her
4. Asked for her lease in MD - her landlord is a realtor so hopefully it has all people residing there
5. ExWW has said she is inelligible for food stamps due to the size of her retirement accounts. However, the forms she filed with the courts indicated she was receiving food stamps. ExWW has said to family members that POSOM was able to get food stamps with exWW and the kids as members of his household. I specifically asked for all aplications and statements for food stamps as indicated in her court filings. I also asked for any applications / statements for people who are claiming exWW and/or the kids as members of their household for food stamp purposes.
6. I also sent exWW a list of about 40 witnesses who I am considering for depositions / witnesses. I'll only call about 3-4 for the trial but I want to prevent exWW from thinking she can convince folks to go with her story. Included in the list: POSOM's mother, POSOM's daughter (20) and son (24), POSOM's ex wife, two of the women whom he had seduced and wrecked their lives , pretty much every close family member of exWW, DS7, all of exWW's former clients, several friends of exWW, and exWW's landlord.

POSOM is goinng to FLIP when he sees the list. But, he's the one who screwed around with a married woman. Not my problem.

The wheels on the Karma bus go round and round....

And it's bearing down on POSOM and your eWW...


I so hope that the judge will give you the custody that you so truly deserve.

>3. Sworn testimony from POSOM in 11/08 saying he was her boyfriend and living with her


This right here is enough.

You might also ask a friend to drive by at, say, midnight and take a pic of his vehicle out front. Do this a few times and make sure the pics are time/date stamped. We did this to POSVD(OW) to prove to housing and CPS she had a known druggie LIVING with her. Housing revoked her benes and made her move.

PSUBiker, what ever became of the trial from August?

Still no word yet. I'm getting frustrated by the day. It's pretty lame the judge is taking this long. At this point, even if I get word in the next week or two, it wouldn't make any sense to switch them out of school until X-Mas anyways.

Meanwhile, I've been busy getting stuff together for the alimony hearing on 2/5. I just got a bill from the court - the transcript of POSOM stating he lives with exWW and she's his girlfriend is going to run me $320.

So far, I have documentation that he's lived with her up to at least 4/27. Then, it's circumsantial. It will be interesting if she provides me with any of the documents I had asked for. She has until Dec 15th to provide them. At that point, I'll have to file a motion to compell with the judge.

If this helps... That $320 is an INVESTMENT in that you will not have to pay alimony to exWW & POSOM.

I look at it that way too. But, it still rots that I have to shell it out to prove something that everybody knows. It would be much easier if exWW just admited she was cohabitating and having SF with her 2nd cousin instead of dragging this through court.

OTOH, very rarely does a BS get a chance to put a WS, the OP, and the OP's mother on the stand to testify about the affair. For good reason, courts don't want to get into the details of an affair. My attorney told me this is one of the few instances he could remember that an affair is central to a divorce proceeding since my state is no fault. I guess it's pretty rare that a WS petitions for alimony WHILE cohabitating with the OP in a state where you are inelligible for alimony if you cohabitate.

Hi guys. Still no word from the judge yet. We are at day 110 since the custody hearing. I have no idea why it is taking so long.

On the legal front, I filed a couple of contempt petitions against the exWW.

1. Her refusal to pay medical expenses and half of daycare as ordered by the CS order

2. Her refusal to pay my attorney fees when she was sanctioned by the court for filing false claims against me.

The day care and medical expenses that she's not paying is close to $500/mo. I'm not about to let her get away with defacto alimony. If the judge rules for status quo, hopefully CS will be recalculated with me paying all of daycare when we go to trial for the contempt order.

Other than the contempt filings, things have been pretty quiet. She's left me alone, I have left her alone. I have hardly talked to exSIL or exMIL in the last couple of months. On weekends and such when I don't have the kids, I've been pretty much a homebody. For months after D-Day, I didn't want to be alone and was always on the phone with someone. Over the last three or four months, I've been going through a leave PSUBIKER alone stage. Perhaps I'm sick of the drama too! I also think if you are not content being by yourself, you are not ready for a relationship.

That being said, I have left the apartment a few times. I went to happy hour with a fellow BH from the MB forums who also happened to go to my high school. We had a great time! The kids and I went to a holiday party thrown by another MB member this past weekend. I was so proud of DD4 - she was talking to EVERYONE and was very social! So, I've been getting out a little bit.

WIth the extra daycare and speech for DD4, money has been very tight for me as well. That's another reason why I haven't gone out much. I don't have any credit cards anymore, so everything is cash or debit for me. Yet, it is pretty liberating only having my car payment for debt payments. If exWW ever gets her act together and starts contributing to daycare, I can even start working on paying my car off quicker.

As for dating, I'm going to hold off at least until the alimony hearing is over. By then, there shouldn't be any drama left unless it is created by the exWW. I've started giving a lot of thought in what I would be looking for once PSUBIKER hits the market in earnest. I have a feeling I am going to be VERY picky.

One thing I've noticed is I'm really not attracted to the younger, never married crowd. A big thing for me is a woman who "gets" being a single father and that the kids are my number one priority in my life.

Your best bet in that case would be another single parent. They understand.

Hi all,

Things are heating up on the legal front with xWW and I. We have a hearing on the 15th for her failure to pay my attorney fees.

In addition, we have the alimony and property division hearing on Feb 5th. I had sent her a request for documents back in early November. Of course, she did not send me anything. So, I filed a motion to compel discovery in mid December. The xWW answered it saying that she felt she didn't have to provide any of the documents requested. Nevertheless, the judge ruled that she has to provide all documents requested by Jan 11th or have her alimony petition dismissed as well as have asset division completed based on what my proposed division was. I.E - I keep all my retirement accounts, she keeps hers.

POSOM has been telling her that she doesn't need to provide any documents. It's unreal how dumb she is being.

The Karma Bus sure seems to be doing a great job of s.l.o.w.l.y. rolling over your XWW...

Well what would he know about documents anyway...you did say he hadn't filed taxes in YEARS...

DUMB doesn't cover half of it.

My GAWD she's DUMBER

No, no! Dumber-er-er-ER!

You're right...

You'd think she'd do everything possible to get this over with, but no.

POSOM wants to drag it out, hoping it'll break you...

What a moron!!!! Both of them, actually. Is there anybody who still thinks waywardism isn't a mental disease after reading all this? Honestly, she was an ordinary person with at least average intelligence once, wasn't she PSU? The way she's acting now, I'm surprised she has enough smarts to dress herself in the morning.

Perhaps it just wants to make sure it does a good and thorough job of it.

I'm not so sure - I've had doubts for several years about the size of her brain pan. But yes, she graduated from a good University with a 3.2 GPA. It's one thing to lose a case in the courtroom, it's another thing entirely to get disqualified on something as dumb as not cooperating with discovery. Waywardism is totally a mental disease - she has gotten herself so emotionally intertwinned with POSOM that she is beginning to exhibit sociopathic tendencies too.

Hope it all goes well for you PSU. If you are victorious...just picturing the expression on her face is priceless.

Insanity is contagious.

Seriously, do you think they are doing drugs?

Just to reiterate...

Did you ever pursue that concealled weapons permit I suggested many months ago?

Seriously, the more I hear the more I worry about your safety.

Mr. W

>I've had doubts for several years about the size of her brain pan.

The SIZE of the pan isn't the problem...it's whether there are brains IN said pan...

If she doesn't provide the documents by 5:00 on Monday (the 11th), I'd request that your attorney request that her disobedience to the Court's direct order to be heard on the 15th along with whatever else is set for that day.

Does she have an attorney?

What a dumb azz.

WW: "Judge, POSOM said I don't have to produce anything."

Judge: "oh really?... did you bring your toothbrush?"

I always love reading Princess Meg's take on the court proceedings.

Unfortunately, she would need a skilled proctologist to find her brain!!!

We could refer her to the doc, spelunkers, map, and crowbars I used to assist the Wookie...

I second this.

"spelunkers, map, and crowbars"

I would never send no man nor beast on such a journey. Unless they have a Hobbit and a wizard with them.

You mean a wizard, four hobbits, two men, an elf and a dwarf!

Here's one of the biggest things I have learned about the WS-topic both here and IRL:


"You just can't fix STUPID"

tick tick tick.....did she produce the documents?

Time is up right? End of business on the 11th?

Yeah what's up PSU? Is the alimony dismissed?

I filed a motion today to dismiss alimony. No docs, hopefully the judge will dismiss. While I am very confident that I would win the trial for alimony, it would be much simpler if it's dismissed outright. She has 10 days to answer, so I should hear something around the 25th.

I third this. Stupid people like your WxW and POSOM usually resort to violence when they can't get what they want through other means. When their case falls apart in court, I have a bad feeling things are going to get REALLY ugly. While you can sic the law on them if they attempt to hurt you, this also assumes you survive said attempt.

Usually the police only get there in time to draw the chalk outline around the body. If I were you I'd really follow Mr. W's suggestion and look into a concealed weapons permit AND weapon.

OTOH, if you go to trial, it would give the Karma Bus one more opportunity to roll over your XWW...

More waiting....

But don't you have something on the 15th as well?

Yes I do. It is a contempt hearing for failure to pay attorney fees from the false DV charge.

Boy, she just keeps piling it on herself, doesn't she?

tl

But, T&L, as you know... "IT'S ALL PSU's FAULT!" So, she doesn't YET feel the weight...

Went to court today, the hearing was stayed. She filed for bankruptcy yesterday so there's an injunction on all financial matters until her bankruptcy is discharged. Not a biggie - the original hearing date for alimony was stayed while my bankruptcy was in process during the early fall.

Is it wrong of me to hope her broom crashes into a moutain on the way home?

Oh.

Yeah.

Okay then.

So she's not so stupid after all...

I have no idea how she paid for it - my attorney fees for the bankruptcy was money well spent. The paperwork is a BEAR. If she did it herself, I can see it being dragged out for a LONG time.

So will the alimony hearing be stayed as well?

Tell it to the judge!

tl

Hi guys,

I heard from the judge regarding custody and my contempt charge for her moving out of state without telling me. For custody, things are going to stay the same. For the contempt charges, she was found in contempt and owes me attorney fees in the neighborhood of about 5K.

Overall, the judge was VERY harsh about her false charges, not keeping me updated on stuff especially DD4's IEP, and moving without telling me where she is living.

But, in his view it did not warrant the kids seeing her less. So, things stay the same with our F'd up shared custody arrangement.

The judge also ordered the following:

1. She needs to seek counseling for anger and stress management in order to be a better parent (his exact words)
2. We need to attend co-parenting counseling sessions

Of course I'm dissappointed with the final result, but, I'm really happy with the very harsh language the judge used in descibing the ex's behavior. Hopefully she will do some introspection on the words and work on being a better person and not a psycho nutjob.

The co-parenting counseling sessions should be interesting - POSOM will be pissed as he does not want her to do anything that could cast him in a bad light without him being able to control the situation. Hopefully it will give me a chance to address a lot of the issues that I have that have broken down any chance of communicating.

Things like:
- exWW having POSOM listen in on phone marriage counseling sessions between the exWW and the counselor
- having POSOM testify against me in protection order hearings
- moving POSOM in the day after she files a protection order
- exWW unilaterally cancelling visitation on her whims
- her FALSE protection orders and trying to get me arrested in front of the kids.

etc, etc, etc.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Stupid judge--must be related to the guy who ruled in my civil suit! But at least he ruled in your favor on all the other stuff. Is half a victory better than none? I suppose so...but a whole victory would be BETTER!!!!

tl

Where to do you go next psubiker?

im sorry you are going through this.i just recently caught my WW and my cousin having an affair.any advice on what i should do?how did you get over it?

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=158786&Number=2313039#Post2313039

Well, the divorce is going to take forever to complete. Because of her bankruptcy filing, there's a stay on alimony and property division. Since she filed pro se, she has no clue on what she needed to include in her bankruptcy filing. She hasn't even filed 2008 taxes yet. So, instead of the 90 days for Chapter 7, I can see it taking 6 months or more for the bankruptcy then another 3 months until the ancillary hearings.

As for the kids, the next big issue is where DD4 will go to kindergarten. She is currently in pre K at the local grade school. But, DS7 is in 1st grade at Charter School in the town. The hours at the Charter School are better for working parents, plus, you only need to be a resident of Delaware to go to the school. This would give exWW some flexibility and she won't have to maintain two residences. But, who knows what she wants to do.

I'm glad it (mostly) worked out for you, PSU. Regarding your disappointment in the custody arrangement, please don't forget that no matter how things look now, POSOM will NOT be around forever. Once all the drama of court and bankrupcy and everything else winds down, so will the affair. At some point, your exWW will begin to show signs of humanity again. The co-parenting sessions will help as well. Your kids will need their mother throughout their lives and at least they will still have a relationship with her by then. It sucks for now, but consider it an investment for them in the future.

I find it very interesting that your sitch is almost the same as the OWH in mine. With the exception that my WXH is not OW's cousin and he does have all his teeth, everything else is very parallel. OWH and OW go to court in about 3 weeks. She's already had a judge yell at her for moving without informing him and she's been required to take anger management after being charged with assault (she ran OWH over with her truck) and now she's stating that the charges were frivilous. It's nice to know that judges don't think highly of this behavior.

Hey folks,

PSUBIKER has been spending his time digging out from Snomaggeddon and the Snowpocalypse. THere's currently a snowpack of about 40 inches outside my apartment. In fact, I got off easy compared to other places in the area. To put it in perspective, there has never been two back to back blizzards hit Philly since Ben Franklin started keeping records in the 1700's.

The kids have been out of school since Friday, the 5th. They won't be going back until the 16th. When one parent is a stay at home parent, snow days are not an issue. When you are divorced, it plays extreme havoc. Oh well. The Ex and I managed these snowstorms better than the December Blizzard.

Since we got the custody order, things have been pretty quiet. However, Something is up with the ex - I got an email nasty gram from her today :

YOu must have more time and money then I do. Must be nice. I don't have the luxury of having a career due to the fact that I stayed home with the kids for over 7 years.

You shoud try it some time. Be a women in a hard to find a job in this job market and an ex husband that is doing everything possible to make you fail.

If you help me I can help you out . Stop daming me to hell and get over it.

As always, everything is my fault. I mean, it's all my fault she moved OM in the day she filed a protection order against me. I came real close to replying but I thought better of it and went outside to shovel off my car.

If you are feeling generous, you could send her some coupons from the Sunday paper, some top ramen, and exlax.

Perhaps another legal document landed on her doorstep?

I think you responded to her e-mail in the most suitable manner. Pretend you never got it, and never acknowledge it, even if she asks .

Hang on to that shovel, she may need to borrow it to dig herself out of the mess she's created.

P.S. That was my "G-rated" response. I had another but thought I might get censored.

As a woman who has a job AND 5 kids, two dogs, two cats, a turtle AND A JOB that isn't in the field of her choosing, but it helps pay the mortgage I find her whining an affrot to females EVERY-EFFING-WHERE.

They should revoke the license on her nethers cos she has no right to be called a woman.

Do we not have a wahbulance smiley?

PSU, I guess you really screwed up when you didn't simply drop dead on d-day. Man, we BS's really know how to ruin peoples lives!

I hope you did not reply to that.


PSU, look for STBXWW to start sending you more of these. There is trouble in affair land, the sky is not as clear as it once was and the unicorns are not farting rainbows anymore.


AND.......

OM/Second Cousin/Snaggle tooth, is about to walk, and STBXWW is starting to see it, even if only on a subconscious level.

When he does, and he will! WWSTBXWW is going to go Coo-Coo. She will either go nuts and blame you for him leaving, or expect you to take her back and take care of her, then go nuts when you don't.

Either way, there is more fun ahead for you my friend. I wish you and the kids the very best in weathering this long and severe upcoming storm.

The next few weeks will be interesting. We have CS hearing on the 22nd. It's her request for a change - no risk to me as I am already paying an extra 400 / month in daycare since she's not paying her share. I'm stuck paying it because if I didn't pay her share, I would have been up poop creek without a paddle too.

I'm going to push that she remain at her imputed income of 30K - it's still only 60% of what she was making when she decided to be a SAHM. Funny, she never complained about giving up her career to ride her horses every day until after she realized I didn't have to support her post divorce.

Plus, my attorney also suggested I request that she be imputed rental income from POSOM. I may not get it but it should paint her into a corner. If her lease is in her name only, I have a good chance of getting it. If it is in both of their names, then they are cohabitating and that bit of evidence will be used to help prove cohabitation to get her alimony petition dismissed.

Looks like you're doing well, PSU. You've come a long way.

You of course plan on bringing up her not paying daycare right?

I already have a contempt petition for that but it was continued because of her bankruptcy filing.

Nice! She loses whichever way it goes.

Hi all,

Remember how exWW made up some false charges and had me arrested back in May? Well, it came back to bite her in the rear end again.

In my role at work, I am the point of contact for my comapny to maintain their license to distribute pharmaceuticals in all 50 states. Each state has their own regulations - my name gets put on the aplication since I run the distribution center. Included are full background screenings, etc. The arrest went down right at the same time as our licenses were being renewed. As a result, a couple were rejected, I had to explain my sitch to our regulatory affairs folks, legal had to get involved. Basically, a huge headache for all involved.

Anyways, I had my 2009 performance review and I got my worst review ever. The big ding against me was the license issues. If I had gotten a rating similar to what I normally get, my bonus would have been double than normal because we had an awesome year due to us taking advantage of production issues with some of our competition. This would have come out to about 18% more income added to my monthly income for child support purposes. After everything is run through the CS calculator, it will end up costing exWW about $100 in additional support.

Moral of the story? In a situation where you are child support recipient, you better think twice before pulling the abuse card as it could effect the income that comes in to pay the child support YOU are receiving.

That slow, dripping sound you hear is my heart bleeding for her. Will she find out what she did to herself? I hope so.

tl

This reminds me of a scene from a book, Hiding Place, something or other..

The main character's sister gives thanks for everything, even the numerous fleas (they are in a filthy concentration camp).

The MC says, "There is no way even GOD can make me grateful for a flea!"

Later on they figure out--the guards will not come into a certain room because of the fleas, so the women are safe.

I think you just got thankful for the fleas, PSU...

(I am terribly sorry about this comparison...my mind comes up with the weirdest things...)

"I had my 2009 performance review and I got my worst review ever. The big ding against me was the license issues. If I had gotten a rating similar to what I normally get, my bonus would have been double"

Time to set the lawyer on WW and sue her for your lost wages due to her false charges.

I would do it even she could not afford to pay. Didn't WW already just file bankruptcy? If she did she file this debt will not be able to be discharged.

Agreed.

TR - you totally rock!!!!!!!!!

I agree with the others--time to sue for damages. These are REAL damages, spelled out in black and white.

Hi all,

We had the contempt hearing for exWW not paying daycare or medical expenses as ordered by the court. As such, my exWW was found in contempt for not paying. So, the commissioner ordered a $50/mo wage attachment for her until it is paid off. It will take her over two years to pay it off. For those of us keeping score at home, my exWW now has three contempt charges against her since June 2009:

1. Filing false protection orders (ordered to pay PSUBIKER $940)
2. Intentionally interfering with my parental rights (will be ordered to pay PSUBIKER about $600)
3. Failure to pay court ordered medical expenses and daycare. (Payment of $1423 paid via wage attachment)

I also got some good news from the judge handling the divorce. As exWW has filed for bankruptcy and putting into question the $940 payment, I was worried that the 2nd contempt charge will go through in her bankruptcy too. As such, the judge issued a letter today stating he will delay the order of payment of attorney fees until after her bankruptcy is discharged. ExWW won't be able to weasel out of it now.

Way to go, PSU.

Karma's starting to kick her butt now.

As part of the custody order, both of us were ordered to attend co parenting counseling together. So, about a week ago I scheduled us to see a counselor tonight. The original plan was to have exMIL to watch the kids.

During the weekend, exWW dropped hints that exMIL didn't want to drive down to watch the kids due to weather. Then, while we were waiting for the hearing yesterday, exWW kept asking me if I could change the time so the kids wouldn't get home late. She was also complaining about how dumb it was we had had to go to counseling.

This afternoon, I got a call from exWW saying she couldn't make it to counseling as she has bald tires and had to get them changed. I am not surprised one bit that she backed out. Another example of a wayward not wanting to face the truth.

Perhaps her avoiding the cour-order counseling can be considered as contempt of court...

Couple of comments

when this crap dies down - need to write a book and perhaps think of a law career.

Your tenacity is unbelievable in the midst of this tornado.

I'll ghost-write it for you, even!

(Hehe.)

"Justice Among Horses"

I've been thinking about going to law school. Money is a huge issue but more than that is just the time. Perhaps in a year or two I'll explore the possibility closer.

I still think the counseling was a good idea - it will be really mind racking but I think longterm the kids will benefit. Unfortunately, I don't think she sees it that way. Her loss.

As for contempt on this, at the end of 8 sessions or so, the counselor writes a letter to the judge stating who attendended and when and whether they cancelled etc. Either way, it gets back to the judge.

Well at the very least, you're still pretty young so you have a bit of time.

Well, as far as school goes, fill out a fafsa. For undergrads, the 2010-2011 school year is lowered to 4.9%. For the 2011-2-12 it will be 3.8%! THen it will go back up to 6% but this is still the best way to afford school.

I am finishing up my Specialist in Visual Arts Education. The only thing left is PhD. But I have reached the top of my payscale, and it is hard to justify the tuition.

Side note: PSUB:
Please stay on Patriots thread. I refuse to post, due to the hystrionics> sp? going on there. But you know the truth, what is really going to happen, and he needs a voice of reason. I would love to post something, but I said I QUIT!

I am afraid they are going to bully Pat into a situation he has not thought out yet. I agree with Dr.H's advice. HE should know, dealing with A's for as long as he has, I am sure he has faced this kind of scanario before.

PSUBIKER has been a very busy beaver over the last few weeks. Just a quick recap, exWW and I were ordered to take counseling together to enhance our coparenting and communication skills. Last Wednesday was the first time we went together.

The exWW started out first by stating that she does not agree at all with the wording in the custody order. She started to go into her histrionics. At one point the counselor told exWW that she is a good salesman because she interrupts people, jumps to conclusions, and puts words into people�s mouths. Basically, the counselor wasn't buying any of the stuff exWW was spewing. At one point, exWW told the counselor she was being abusive to her! ExWW kept telling the counselor that she was in mortal fear just sitting in the room with me. The counselor told her PSUBIKER is just sitting there quietly with his hands in his lap while you go off on how horrible of a person he is!

One interesting piece of information gleaned from the session was exWW was supposedly having surgery on her neck the next day and she had health insurance through Maryland Medicaid. Why is this interesting? She swore UP AND DOWN during the custody hearing that she was a Delaware resident and thus no change in custody was warranted. My question is, how can someone receive Medicaid benefits in one state while being a resident in another?

Either way, it is pretty much a moot point now. She agreed that DD5 should go to kindergarten at the Charter School that DS 7 goes to. All you need to be is a resident of Delaware for the school and PSUBIKER isn�t planning on leaving DE any time soon. This is big for me too � I�ll be able to cut daycare costs by about $400 / mo since both kids will be going to the same school.

I went to an individual session with the counselor last night. After what she witnessed the previous week with my exWW, the counselor said I was one of the most emotionally abused men she has seen in a long time. She does DV counseling too. I had played her some of the voicemails as well as the tape from the 5/9 incident. She was in shock with what she heard. The topper for the counselor was when I told her about me getting snipped then three days later exWW asking for a divorce.

I told the counselor it was pretty obvious exWW had been talking to POSOM prior to the session as during the past couple of weeks she has been calling me while she is between sales calls in her new job and has been extremely cordial and in fact asking for business and customer service advice from me when she calls. She used to do this when she worked prior to kids. The counselor suspects strongly exWW has a personality disorder. Ya think?!?!?!

The other big thing was getting our 2008 taxes refilled before exWW�s bankruptcy is dismissed. I had filed married / separate back in 2/2009 for my 08 taxes. I knew I would take a huge tax hit but exWW had said she was going to file and claim the kids so I beat her to the punch. I had agreed in April to retile with us filing jointly. Finally, exWW got me enough info so I could fill out the Schedule C for her business and sleep easy knowing that if the IRS audits us, they�ll l find more deductions than I claimed.

While I was putting together her transactions from 8/08-12/08, I found out exWW paid close to $1500 in vet bills, blacksmith bills, and cash to open a bank account for POSOM. Ironically, she was found in contempt of failing to pay $1400 in combined daycare and medical expenses for the kids. I hope POSOM was worth getting a contempt charge for failing to support your kids!

It's called fraud.

Hey, Isn't that illegal?

donno .... maybe we should ask one of the forum's tax attorneys

MD MFCU

I think Bitbucket is trying to tell us something.

What is it.....hmmmmmmm is Jimmy stuck in a well? HAHAHAHA