Hi Everyone,

I just found out a friend of mine and her husband of 10 years have separated. I want to send her one of Dr. H's books as a gift and introduce her to the concepts here, but I wanted your opinion as to which would be best to send. I don't think there is an affair, but as we all know, you never know. I was thinking "Fall In Love, Stay In Love".

Which book should I give her?

Thanks!
aBetterME

I believe that before any book can be recommended, one would have to know the reason for the breakup.

...but barring all else, "Fall In Love, Stay In Love" is the best Harley book. It covers everything in just the right depth, and really focuses more on the four Intimate Emotional Needs than the others. Dr. Harley recognized after seventeen years of working his system that meeting those four needs above all others most sustain the feeling of love in a couple.

Those needs are:
* Affection
* Sexual Fulfillment
* Recreational Companionship
* Intimate Conversation

By meeting those four needs, and only and exclusively meeting them with your spouse, you help affair-proof your marriage and strengthen it enormously. It's our favorite of the five we've read.

Thanks DNM. I agree, so I think I'll send that one.

Teaser,

I think the reason for the breakup is general neglect of the marriage and life stresses. They've had some financial struggles, a still born child and new baby over the last 3 years. I think that just like my husband and I did, they lack the basic skills Dr. H teaches to stay connected. MB has helped my marriage so much, I want to give them an opportunity to use the information as well.

Thanks

aBetterMe

Yeah, but 4 out of 5 divorces involve adultery by one of the partners. It's a better-than-even bet that they're in that camp, but keeping it a secret for one reason or another.

Source: One of Dr. Harley's videos, I forget which. He discusses that of the 60% divorce rate, 80% of them involve adultery, but in less than half of those cases are both spouses aware adultery is involved. One of them is left thinking things just "didn't work out", not knowing their spouse cheated and that is why things didn't work out...