So today I picked up wheels just like any other day, he comes in the car letting me know what him and the guys at work talked about today. Apparently one of the mens wife's went to Las Vegas for a weekend for a girls night out, well one of them admitted saying "Just to let you all know if it comes up, I have been having an affair for a year now with so and so."

Well wheels asked his friend "so are you going to tell him?" And his friend said "No, that is not my business" after the conversation he showed everyone the WW facebook account.

Since wheels had experience in this he had a really strong desire for the BH to know, since neither of us know the couple we decided to do an anonymous FB message to the BH this is what wheels wrote.

Hi BH,

I heard through a friend of a friend that your wife has been having an affair for a year. I have personally suffered through the same ordeal, and I could not stand by and let you go through the same thing. So I hunted you down using Facebook and friend links. My friend that told me he does not feel that it is his place to get involved, but I disagree, and I want to give you a choice in the matter.

Please visit this website for support and direction:
www.marriagebuilders.com

Create a profile for the forums, and post your story, I will be there. Then start snooping around the house for evidence. Don't just believe me, believe your phone bill and WW's personal email and facebook.

You can disregard this message or make a vital choice to recover or divorce. It's all up to you, but at least you have a choice now.

Bobby

P.S. my wife and I are in the process of recovering our marriage.

Good JOB!

Sometimes the really horrible thing is how many people keep their mouths shut, making the betray spouse feel like an absolute patsy when the truth does come out, and making the circle of betrayal huge.

God Bless
Gamma

Sapphire,

YOu married a good man and the both of you are learning very important lessons for the rest of your life. You both should be proud.

God Bless,

JL

After he wrote that letter I told him that I was so proud of him for telling the BH. One of his friends asked wheels "If I was cheating on my wife, would you tell her?" he did not hesitate and said "YES!" then his friend said "REALLY!!?" like he was shocked, they all know what happened between us so I was shocked when his friend was shocked! I told wheels "Don't they know what happened to you? And how hurt you where? Don't they know the situation? SO it's not like your going to sit there and let your friend cheat on his wife! Knowing the pain you had to endure!"

Even if the BH already knows, at least we have a piece of mind that WE know he knows

I'm betting that if the affair has been going on a year and the woman is now sharing this with her friends, then the BH already knows.

The "if it comes up" part is the dead giveaway.

We thought that too, but I think is was mainly a "just in case" kinda of deal you know?

OK I need help!

So the wife intercepted the facebook message we sent to her husband (apparently he is NEVER on FB and she checks his messages...sigh)

Anyway I told wheels that we need to find his number and his friend at work that knows him will not tell us because he does not want to be involved.

So my question how can I get his number? I know there are websites but which sites are the best?

Google his name. That may give you some info to go on. Try www.whitepages.com.

Go back and check his FB page. FB has a nasty tendency to publish phone numbers without your permission or knowledge. I've had it happen to me twice now. Of course this mans WW may have already seen to it that his number isn't there for just this reason. It's worth a look anyway.

Does Wheels know where this BH works? Call them and ask to speak to BH.

The google and phone number on Facebook suggestions were good too.

Ummmm...isn't it likely that such wayward wife is now here on MB trying to figure out who you are in real life???

Might want to tweak your signature line so they can't figure you out back home.

TY MRW

Where is the ww now? I do not see any new posts

I have no idea...but your first post on this thread pretty much directed her (or whoever read it) here to the forums where "you will be".

Might want to have the whole thread go poof

ya good point Its hard because wheels friend at work wont give us any information, I don't know where he lives, his middle name, nothing. I can how ever send all of his family members the FB message she has about 6 or 7 relatives that has the last name as they do.

What should I do?

Should I just send out FB messages to all of his family and hope they tell him??

I don't know...and worry such ww may be here trying to anticipate your responses and attempt to head you off at the pass.

Phone book? If you have his name try whitepages.com

Mr. Wondering

Sapphire,

If you know where he works, you can probably obtain his work phone number and perhaps his work email. You can make an anonymous call to him from pay phone (good luck finding those) or use *89 (I'm not sure that is correct to block caller ID and traceback.) You need to do your homework on that.

Just some ideas, but if you call the company and ask for the extension of ******, they are likely to give it to you.

JL

*67

I have no idea where he works, like I said the "friend" does not want to be involved, my only chance is telling his family just sending them all a FB message.

SR,

I have to admit I don't like the blanket family thing on FB. This too important a situation to just throw everything into the wind and see where it lands.

My guess is this will then require some patience and time. This woman's H may well find out about the affair. If she is foolish enough to tell other people she is having a year long affair, then her need for validation will most likely mean she will mess up and let this out of the bag.

However, your H does know where his friend works, and if he keeps his mouth shut and his eyes and ears open, he may well get a lead on the information he seeks.

You and your H have done your best with what you have. Keep your eyes and ears open, perhaps the information you need to figure out who this guy is will come in time.

My personal bet if she is getting cocky enough to be talking to her friends and others about her affair, her H is going to find out.

Just my thoughts.

God Bless,

JL

SR, if you're unsuccessful in exposing this to the BH, you and wheels have at least accomplished one important thing: you've made it clear to friends that you will never enable any of their affairs. That one right there deserves a

Ya we are going to wait till we find more information on the BH but apparently she has been threatening divorce and each time she does he always buys her new things either boobs, cars, or something else that costs loads of money! I just feel bad for the guy, I just hope telling him will be enough, if she has been threatening a divorce...sigh /shrug

Great news!! I finally found his number...now when should I call???

Do you know his work schedule? If so, don't call him during, of course, if it's a cell number.

Call him when he's at home, maybe later in the evening.

It's a home phone number yellow pages only list that.

I typed in her name just to be on the save side I got the right number and I do

Wheels wont call, he hates talking on the phone let a lone strangers and since I'm in the people business I'll call him up

So I'll call tonight at 6:00

OK so I tried calling and no answer I'm actually debating just sending a mass FB message to those 6 people he is related too wheels and I are guessing that they are brothers/sisters/and father

what do you think?

Should I wait to call him again tonight? Or just send out the message?

Are these relatives of the BH? If so, I would send them a message and ask them to tell the BH and give them your phone #. This is how SunnyD busted up her H's affair. She could not get ahold of the BH so she messaged his brother and SIL on facebook. She is now in recovery.

When you call the house are disguising your # with *67? Ya know, I bet she has unplugged the phone now since she knows you are trying to get to him.

Can you to a neighbor or friend's house and use their phone? Pay phone?

Personally, I think pay phones only exist because of affairs. I've seen people pull up to one, get off their cell phone and mke a pay phone call. Perhaps I misjudge though.

yes I *67 and yes they are relatives on his side. I think i will do that then ty

Ok I sent it to 2 people who I think is related to the BH now lets just wait and see