Sgt. KR's Exposure Bootcamp - 06/22/11 08:52 PM
ABOUT, FACE!
Alrighty, recruits, let's take a look at this issue. A lot of you newbies are refusing to do what you need to in order to get through this ordeal.
You insist your situation is "unique" and that exposure would only "drive them away!"
Sure, you can meet needs, but you are competing with an irrational druggish fantasy! There is no way that just sitting and meeting needs is going to make your WS get off the fence. You have to shove them off, and one of the tools to do so is exposure.
Meeting needs, eliminating LBs, and so forth is a good thing, but it is only about 1/2 of Plan A.
Think of the rutting location of WS and OP as an enemy bunker. Exposure is a grenade that, used properly, will blow the enemy bunker all to heck.
How to Expose Effectively:
* Do NOT threaten exposure beforehand. This will give the wayward time to spin the story and paint you as a liar.
* Do it all as quickly as possible. Stretching it out over several days makes it more likely that your WS will catch wind of one person's knowledge. They'll then have more chance to do "damage control." (Note on FB Exposure: Give it 1 minute between messages if you send them to people. If you don't, you'll be stopped from sending more FB messages for a while)
* Do not apologize for exposure. This grenade you just lobbed in the affair bunker will REALLY tick the WS off and they will make every attempt to get you to recant the exposure and apologize to them for the *horrible* (/sarcasm) thing you did.
* Do not take anything they say right now seriously. They'll say all sorts of things--I was going to work it out with you, but now I won't. How could you! I don't trust you anymore! How could you do this to me! Just pretend they're a crack addict you just took crack away from.
* Work Exposure -- This is primarily for BS's whose WS's are having affairs with a coworker. Most companies will NOT take kindly to this sort of thing, due to the fact that many affairees waste company time and resources. Address workplace exposure to HR, or a commanding officer if the WS is in the military.
I don't want to hear any whining. "They'll be mad!" "This will drive them away!" "It won't work!" "They'll lose their job (if affair partner is coworker)!"
DO IT. It will do nothing but help you!
(Apologies to anyone who is in the armed forces, as I am not involved in them at all.)
Alrighty, recruits, let's take a look at this issue. A lot of you newbies are refusing to do what you need to in order to get through this ordeal.
You insist your situation is "unique" and that exposure would only "drive them away!"
Sure, you can meet needs, but you are competing with an irrational druggish fantasy! There is no way that just sitting and meeting needs is going to make your WS get off the fence. You have to shove them off, and one of the tools to do so is exposure.
Meeting needs, eliminating LBs, and so forth is a good thing, but it is only about 1/2 of Plan A.
Think of the rutting location of WS and OP as an enemy bunker. Exposure is a grenade that, used properly, will blow the enemy bunker all to heck.
How to Expose Effectively:
* Do NOT threaten exposure beforehand. This will give the wayward time to spin the story and paint you as a liar.
* Do it all as quickly as possible. Stretching it out over several days makes it more likely that your WS will catch wind of one person's knowledge. They'll then have more chance to do "damage control." (Note on FB Exposure: Give it 1 minute between messages if you send them to people. If you don't, you'll be stopped from sending more FB messages for a while)
* Do not apologize for exposure. This grenade you just lobbed in the affair bunker will REALLY tick the WS off and they will make every attempt to get you to recant the exposure and apologize to them for the *horrible* (/sarcasm) thing you did.
* Do not take anything they say right now seriously. They'll say all sorts of things--I was going to work it out with you, but now I won't. How could you! I don't trust you anymore! How could you do this to me! Just pretend they're a crack addict you just took crack away from.
* Work Exposure -- This is primarily for BS's whose WS's are having affairs with a coworker. Most companies will NOT take kindly to this sort of thing, due to the fact that many affairees waste company time and resources. Address workplace exposure to HR, or a commanding officer if the WS is in the military.
I don't want to hear any whining. "They'll be mad!" "This will drive them away!" "It won't work!" "They'll lose their job (if affair partner is coworker)!"
DO IT. It will do nothing but help you!
(Apologies to anyone who is in the armed forces, as I am not involved in them at all.)