I have seen where a lot of affairs ended the next day after a thorough exposure.

Thing is I can't seem to remember what amount of time range does it take for exposure to work nost of the times.

How do you define "work"?

My opinion is that exposure does its job IMMEDIATELY.

I would imagine (the majority of the time anyway) the length of time is directly proportionate to just how thorough the exposure was.

As soon as the WS is angry after getting feedback of your exposure .. its working. So I agree .. pretty much right away it begins to work.

*shrugs*

TheRoad,

The other side of the coin, is that for the BS it almost immediately removes the burden of working to keep their suffering a secret. The BS no longer has to use euphemisms like "we are having problems", etc.

God Bless
Gamma

I may have taken the ? the wrong way. I assumed he meant length of TIME to "successfully" bust up an affair

Dr. Harley states on average an affair will die naturally 6 months after exposure.

I agree Exposure starts the process immediately because the affair bubble now has a huge hole in it.

I have see adultery die the minute it was exposed.

In my case the EXPOSURE was the key to busting up the affair. She dumped him, and the military made it clear they are not allowed to date while WH is still married.

The issue with my wayward is he firmly believes he can win her back. He isn't ready to give her up and is setting his life up to win her back after his divorce is going to go through. He is still madly in love with her and isn't ready to let her go. They have regular contact as friends and the last time I discussed this with my WH he admitted his plans.

You should have his command put a no contact order on him so they can't talk as friends. Sorry, not trying to t/j.

For the BS, the exposure works immediately. It helps them gain the support that they need, while giving them the peace of mind that the APs can't spin it as a lurve story.

AS far as how long it takes to help bust up the A, that depends on what the people who were exposed to do.

It's the first best step to help bust up the affair, and as such should ALWAYS be done, quickly and as widely as possible.

The answer I was looking for how long does exposure take to end an affair. Thanks for the doc H reference of 6 months.

Dr Harley says that those affairs that don't end immediately upon exposure usually die within 2 years of exposure. There is no answer to the question "how long does exposure take to work." Some die immediately, some die in 6 months, some die in 2 years, etc, etc.....

I would say exposure works immediately, no matter what the end result. At least the adulterers won't be pulling the wool over anyone's eyes. Shame on them.

My personal observation is that exposure kills affairs within a week about 50% of the time. The variables that seem to weaken/impede exposure's impact are:

1. waiting too long to expose

2. doing a trickle exposure [a disaster]

3. enabling

This 50% fiqure is what I was looking for. Thanks.

Gotta ask Road, was this particular question motivated by any particular present thread on the board? I think you know where I'm headed with this, which is why I responded initially the way I did.

TigerWes, no because there has always been BS's trying to get through past exposure watching the clock tick waiting for exposure to be the silver bullet.

As when a poster asks about HB, or when one enters the anger phase, or best to not make important decisions about divorce or recovery for 6 months after dday, that most affair last two years then die on usually die on their own.

My memory could not put a number the way melodylane did.
That is the only reason why I asked. I have seen exposure work with just WS, OP, BS, parents and siblings. I have seen exposure done all on one day and then on the next day the WS goes home and tells the BS the affair is over. I have seen the WS go two years before the affair ended. I have seen affairriages.

I have seen marriages end here and saved here. I've seen what works and try to advocate what needs to be done.

Their are many that do a better job then me. They are better writer's then I. I think I help in that a poster comes here whether a WS or a BS they quite often don't want to hear what is being ofered. But after 5 people telling them what needs to be done hearing me be the 6th person to say the same thing it gets them to think this many people in agreement must mean they collectively know what they are talking about and they finally take the appropriate action.

I agree with your statement: "But after 5 people telling them what needs to be done hearing me be the 6th person to say the same thing it gets them to think this many people in agreement must mean they collectively know what they are talking about and they finally take the appropriate action."

It is eay to try to tackle things ourselves, but I have told myself: If i am in a room full of 29 people, and they all stand up and point their finger at me and say "You're looking at this wrong," THEN no matter what my feelings are, I NEED to listen to the room full of people. (obviously I am not talking about a room full of people in a cult, but a room full of average healthy people)